i swim in confusion lost in my own sea of insane pain~
allow sorrow to drown me as my waves go against the grain~
u know u can feel it imagine ur own loss washing over your mind~
life's letdowns letting you drown and steadily holding your time~
color has evaded my skin at least it seems but others can see clear~
i've been denied justice at the hands of shade but this is the sea, fear~
i can see life seep out of those i love in this pool of sorrow and rise to the overhead~
ironic how the kingdom of love is merely a kingdom above that i'll only see burrowed in lead~
peace is not an option i want to find serenity but still i must swim~
the closest i get to hospitality is a hospital getting rushed in~
i cherish breathing but i weep for those who dont have the best~
if i didnt have seed i would readily give my lungs to my brothers for half the breath~
short downpour of emotion sport your goloshes to stay dry from my pain within~
and in my pain i sin i beg Moses to part the waters but day after day i swim~

1luv.

elevation is key, 1luv.

mentally that was a ill peice, you could really do something wit this drop, its short but really good, i think if you made it a little longer you'd have a out standing critiwued script. Its got good wordplay an flow metas its all there bro, good drop check myn out..peace

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

yo, ... time in time out you keep surprising me, ... you just have it man... emotions are felt, great vocab, flows, wordplay and creativity.... it's just all there. I must say that your work is inspiring.
Keep droppin

resp

That was very deep and Beautiful


short downpour of emotion sport your goloshes to stay dry from my pain within~
and in my pain i sin i beg Moses to part the waters but day after day i swim~

I love this line. I may be reading to much into it but to me it seems as if your saying you want him to part the sea so you won't have to swim through it agian.
I really do love this piece at the end I had to say Damn aloud

__________________
I live to die and
Destance my self to Feel
My life is an oxymoran
Like a suicide Pill

This was amazing, NFamous..Deep drop, brilliant concept..I honestly felt every line..The title was interesting and drew me in, and the rest of the verse certainly lived up to the intrigue of the name. Like Chase said, the last line was absolutely incredible, perfect way to end it, but the piece as a whole was remarkable. Very deep symbolism, references to the water throughout, This was a beautifully intense verse which everyone could get something out of. I really felt it. Keep blessin us, Nice work.
Pz.

^thanks to all especially the vet Dagyrl it all means a lot, elevation is key, 1luv.

this realyl was a good peice nfamous

i felt the streght portrayed in it
and the title gave it such a great appeal
perhaps curiosity is a better
word

loved from first to last

and everything in between