I'm entering this for a contest on glishproductions.net. I had to use this beat that I got from their website and this is what I came up with.....Its a little different than what I'm used to, so lemme know what you think


Still I Remain


***EDIT***
I redid the hook



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LINKS:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=240005
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=240056

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Aight peepin'...

Glish are decent, not feeling them that much. Intro is good...real hyped...Delivery is good on this you putting alot in this, flow doesn't really fall off but the way you delivery makes it hard to hear all the lines nah mean. Hook is a clever idea but homie I don't think it worked. The quick flow etc. on that and the way you spit it sounded like a verse. But emotion is dope on this, I do believe what you're saying nah mean. I like how you started the hook however homie...when you went off with the "quickness and deliverence" it really fell down in my opinion. But verses have no prolems for me, it's like this beat was custom made for you, hope you win the competetion. Multis are hot and all the lyrics I heard were good.

So let's sum it up homeboy..

The Good Shit:

- The Flow
- Delivery
- Emotion
- Lyrics

Bad Shit/Work On:

- Hook
- Hook mixing

And regarding the hook, Ive learnt the best hooks are the ones that carry a melody. In you're verse you follow the snare, the drum. In the hook you follow the melody of the beat. That's what makes 50 a beast. Even if it's the most gangsterish shit, you can put a melody to it, that's how people subconciously will ride to it. Because in their mind theyre bumping to the beat, so by the hook following melody of the beat, you won't be off flow, it will subconciously trick the listener into feeling it more, because it's more catchy. Don't get me wrong, rap hooks are ok..but nobody ever finds it catchy, it just becomes another verse perhaps. For me I study cats like 50 for the trick to get the hook..and that basically moulds thye song. Cos remember a trick to a dope song is:

1. A Great Beat
2. A Great Intro
3. A Catchy Hook

Word..good joint though..dolla at me

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....suck a dick faggot.....

Word.....thanks man. I wasn't really feeling the hook either to be honest with you, but the shit was due today so I just threw something together....lol.

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beats pretty nice...vocals actually fit it nicely...emotion is nice...feelin the flow...loving the delivery and lyrics are tight...

hooks aight...flow seemed a lil weird in it...like started slow...got slower then went real fast...

verse 2 flow switched nicely held...lyrics still nice...delivery cool...feelin this track still...i unno why but i feel like its on an Eminem type vibe ya get me...

hook again...

yea man it was a nice joint...flow on the hook coulda been better but i noted ya post above so fair nuff...but good track man definitely feelin it

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MySpace

R.I.P OMB

To Be Honest...I Don't Know Why I Bothered

Word......I caught what ya'll were saying about the hook, so I redid it real quick with some simple shit

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liked the flow and delivery lyrics
like evryone else i jsut really didnt like the hook
gl though

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the intro is soooooo rugged....

come in on some Eminem shit... haha... sick... lots of inner rhyming in the first verse....

hook.... you made it work.... nahmean... its catchy

2nd verse keeps pace wit the first..... juss caught some Connan Mental Imagery... ... shits real barbaric.... but a dope piece no doubt

WHOAAAAAAAAA..... CIGARET BUTT FLOW ......!!!!! haha... that shits hot... had to rewind that shit.... dope imagery ....

solid jump off right here.... *ADDED TO ROTATION*

-Bronsky

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Full Metal Bronsky Dropin 1st Quarter 08'

Wtf is this dude saying on the intro?lmao....ok I like this beat so far got a nice melody...hmmmmmmm enygma u getting ya eminem flow on here huh? u got eminem WRITTEN ALL OVER ya flow those midline influctions is eminem to a T!!! dude had u jus listened to a eminem song when u wrote this....even the way u drag on the hook is eminemish...but is a new sound for you so even tho is emenemish its tight...u executed it nice...I like u in this mid range tone an with a more animated sound, cuz I am not a fan of ya voice its nasally thats always gonna be something gon say bout u jus like eminem ironically but when u flow/deliver like this the animation an coloration of ya vocal is so all over the place that it becomes the focus of the ears...I like that...the hook was koo....a light echo woulda made it jump out more tho...but u dubbed it nice...good shit fam...8/10....1

Aye yo RTF:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=240116

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Word....thanks for all the feed fellas

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u didn't re-do the hook jus because of criticism did u?

but yo...u sound like one of those Yugio characters...hot


lol...


flow works for this beat...

wut about ur wife?


hmm...slick rhyming in spots


interesting sound to the track


Hook: it's ok...def. creative...but the Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa part is kinda contrived...


2nd verse...comin wit a focused rhyme scheme...slick...but u gave up on it too soon


Good track tho man...def. good


RTF please

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=240122


1

yo i feel your first verse was ill....n it seemed to be the climax of your song....the rest seemed like resolution.....slowly declining.....you slim woody haha your new rap name which your wife says is an accurate depiction hahah jp....your emotion even dropped more each verse.....honestly spend more time on your shit....i was so excited for this song after that first verse even tho eminemish its like old to middle eminem ish and since he dont do it no more its nice to hear someone do it......the acca shoulda been slowly fading out at the end not to end harsh like that.....good shit is it just me or did your quality suddenly get better.....?

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lol.....I got some tips from Ecko that I just started using. I guess it helps


But I think that the emotion losing was due to me actually losing my voice a bit after the first verse. It took me quite a few takes to get it right and I just felt like it was taking too long, so I rushed through the other two verses to make a deadline. I don't usually work on deadlines though, so that'll be easy to fix

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returning the favor....thanks for the feed on my track..

lmao damn...trip is right...this is some eminem type flow shit...lol...

the lyrics are dope...this song is reminding me of that shit on the eminem show...shit...forgot the name of the song...

not really feelin the hook to be honest man...think it could be mixed better as well...thats the only real problem i have with this track....other than that...its dopeness...

i do wish the clarity overall was a lil better so i could understand u just a lil bit better.....the quality isnt bad..dont get me wrong..but with this type flow...where its just constant multies...back to back..non stop...its sometimes hard to catch every word...so when its even the slightest bit muffled...its not easy to process everything...

overall dope track man....the verses were ill...just wasnt feelin the hook that much.....1

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Word....thanks man

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