1-2 Punchline League Mag

Intro

Welcome one and all to the RV’s 1-2 Punchline League mag, written by your friend and peer, Appocolyptik. Do you do text battles? Are you good at 20-40 line battles? Well 1-2 Punches should be easy, I mean it’s only one punch right? Wrong, a punch in this league has to be everything you want to write in a 20-line verse in one bar. Everything, the concept, the style and the execution, all have to be perfect. And that’s not meh, that’s P-E-R-F-E-C-T, with a capital fucking P right down to the T. Remember that there’s no 1-2 punch without PERFECT and you’ll be fine. The primary objective of this league is F-U-N, and do have F-U-N you have to show and you most certainly will have to drop hard. Now what is F-U-N? Well I myself found the answer in the following little song, but others may not be so satisfied.

F is for friends that do stuff together
U is for yoooooooou and meeeeeeeeee
N is anywhere and anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea!

But fuck the song; because that’s not the type of F-U-N we’re looking for here. Seeing as I have to write your mags, I’m looking to be rewarded with lots of dope, hard hitting and original punches. Now I don’t want to be reading tons and tons of shitty, basic and lame lines, that’s not F-U-N at all. If anything that’s fucking boring, and if that happens I will no longer write your mags. And I will have to give you your medicine, by booting you from the league. Now what does a good punch require? Well the two most important aspects of a punch is the concept and the execution of the concept. Here are two punches that have the same concept. One of them is good because they it’s worded well, the other one is weak because it’s worded badly. Note that the victim of this punch had an ass chin.

Fucking NEANDERTHAL, you’re spineless weak and boneless
With such a bum chin your jaw could be a refuge for the homeless

I’ma smash all ya face in, cause yours hits practically painless
Damn your chin’s packed with more cheeks than your actual anus!

^That’s a very good example of how a dope punch becomes meh. The concept and wit is still there but the lack of harshness reduces the effectiveness. I want everyone here to be wording their concepts effectively and breaking some reps with their words.

A Very Big Problem

Is the fact that half the motherfuckers in this league are no showing EVERY week. How can you have a successful league when no one drops? The answer is, you can’t. So make sure you drop and make sure you drop hard. Another thing is the voting, people are dropping wack votes like “V/ Mr Smith, he was better,” without even explaining WHY it was better. All that’s required is a specific analysis of the drop. All you have to say is, “The concept was good but the wording was off whereas Mr Johnson hit really hard and had a wittier concept, therefore he won.” That’s really not that hard, and would take less than 30 seconds to do. What I’m also seeing is people just saying “V/ Mr Brick” and not putting any sort of explanation whatsoever. This again is unacceptable, and will not be tolerated. In fact your vote will be deleted and you might even lose votes on your own battle. So make sure you show and make sure you leave decent votes on at least 3 other battles.”

Interview with LI

Appocolyptik: Interview Started 22:36
Appocolyptik: Hello LI
Ldizzle Ibizzle: whattup Appo
Appocolyptik: Yo, so can you outline a few of the changes happening in the league?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: sure..
- Completely fresh roster and records (0-0)
- Mags every week that'll include but not limited to (top punches, interviews, battle recaps and predictions, battle of the week)
- specialty matches which i cant tell right now because it is some DOPE ideas
- a new way of running a league
Appocolyptik: Do you ever feel that the concept of 1-2 punching is restrictive?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: in what way do you mean, that you only get one chance at your opponent?
Appocolyptik: yes
Ldizzle Ibizzle: well i think thats the point of them.. if you can succeed at striving for that one ILL punch, than you can elevate fast and beat some tough competition
Appocolyptik: Would you feel very proud beating a dope head if he came weak and you came with a good punch?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: i dont know about being proud. but a win is a win, sometimes people will under estimate you.. and thats your job to make them pay
Appocolyptik: Yeah that's true, I always go in to punish my opponent. I battles TeamOne once, the fag that screwed me out of KORV3 with a bitch move. So I knew I was going to anniahlate him, but wanted to whore him as badly as I could
Appocolyptik: You ever been bitch moved on?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: Hmm, define bitch move for me
Appocolyptik: Like going 40 lines after the other person's dropped 18
Appocolyptik: or getting someone DQ'd for checking in late
Ldizzle Ibizzle: oh I'm sure I have.. but I dont really remember, i try to show on time everytime so i dont ever have that problem =\
Appocolyptik: Oh word word
Appocolyptik: So, do you prefer big battles or 1-2 punches?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: big battles no doubt
Ldizzle Ibizzle: i love 50 liners
Appocolyptik: whats your most memerable battle?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: hmm.. my favorite one on RV was when i whored the shit out of C.A.L.I after he talked shit to me for a month straight on how he'd KO me and how i sucked.. that was hilarious
Ldizzle Ibizzle: and on RB my most memorable was when i beat Expo cause that kid helped me elevate alot.. and to beat him was something i never thought i could do
Appocolyptik: did expo drop really hard?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: yeah.. he tried if thats what your asking
Appocolyptik: word,
Appocolyptik: I hear you're not too happy about not being put in legends
Appocolyptik: clairfy this pelase
Appocolyptik: *please
Ldizzle Ibizzle: lol
Ldizzle Ibizzle: well people are voting no b/c i supposedly fell off and didnt keep up with the rest. which is idiotic to say because i paved the way in text on this site and STARTED the style on RV they are using today. i was the first with it here and would get losses because people didnt understand it.
Ldizzle Ibizzle: and they say i cant battle now a days which is dumb as shit.. i just posted 8 lines in the winning semi final battle in the tag tourney against spitacular and automatic. if they dont think i can battle, step up and battle me. and ill win
Appocolyptik: who would you most like to battle on this site?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: right now Nick Fletcher and hotshh!
Appocolyptik: Fletchers good
Ldizzle Ibizzle: ill beat em both
Appocolyptik: I don't know much about hotssssh
Appocolyptik: I beat fletcher in a 36 line epic battle
Ldizzle Ibizzle: dope
Appocolyptik: I then rematched with him in a 40 line wrestling 3way, if so rells drop didn't suck that'd have been legendary
Appocolyptik: here's a question
Appocolyptik: how does the RV coincide with your real life?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: like how much time do i spend on it?
Appocolyptik: no, does it affect your real life in any way?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: fuck no. lol
Ldizzle Ibizzle: i dont lose an ounce of sleep over the outcome of anything on the net
Appocolyptik: lies, I bet you get stressed over a battle if it's really big
Appocolyptik: like if the other guy was cheating
Ldizzle Ibizzle: in all honesty no.. maybe when it happens and im at the comp, like wtf? but once im off the computer.. shit doesnt cross my mind
Appocolyptik: this is a random question, but how old are you, do you get into fights, are you big built etc?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: lmao
Ldizzle Ibizzle: i am 16
Ldizzle Ibizzle: i have been in fights but not of late
Ldizzle Ibizzle: im not big built im average.. i can hold my own tho if needed.. but i dont cruise around looking to brawl
Appocolyptik: I do
Appocolyptik: I'm what you would call an E thug
Appocolyptik: I start beef with people on the net then meet them and punish them
Ldizzle Ibizzle: word.. you instant message people cussin em out then be like u know what *clicks warn 5 times*
Ldizzle Ibizzle: oh word
Appocolyptik: I was joking
Ldizzle Ibizzle: thats straight E yo
Appocolyptik: excuse my poor sense of humour
Appocolyptik: =P
Ldizzle Ibizzle: lol
Appocolyptik: so who are you text idols so to speak?
Appocolyptik: when you were elevating who did you read?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: oh shit..
Ldizzle Ibizzle: at first Re$triced.. but i never made my style after him.. i just loved how whenever he battled he won (D/R but still)..
Ldizzle Ibizzle: then i kinda broke off on my own to elevate myself and then it was shadows.edge and enygma when they were on RB
Ldizzle Ibizzle: then it was Expo and Lay Doubt
Ldizzle Ibizzle: now i love reading Mr. Write and Mr. Key's battles.. they think of some crazy shit
Appocolyptik: Yes
Appocolyptik: I was always a fan of Fracture, Resin, Relentless Fists and Spitacular
Ldizzle Ibizzle: they are all dope.. f'real
Appocolyptik: I modeled my style a bit on Fracture mixed with Mimesis's hard hitting aggresive technique
Appocolyptik: so onto the 1-2 league
Appocolyptik: who do you see going far this season?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: lol its hard to say.. i mean we just started the roster up
Ldizzle Ibizzle: hmm u want me to pick out of the 8 signed up?
Appocolyptik: sure
Ldizzle Ibizzle: Daubs
Ldizzle Ibizzle: or X-Treme
Ldizzle Ibizzle: maybe even Ken`Pho
Appocolyptik: are they experienced 1-2 heads?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: Daubs i know alot from him.. X-Treme is Nick Fletcher.. and Ken` Pho is from RB and ive seen plenty from him too
Ldizzle Ibizzle: so yes
Appocolyptik: do you see yourself beating the,?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: ?
Appocolyptik: *them
Ldizzle Ibizzle: hmm in the 1-2? i havent decided if i will join or not. but i know i have what it takes to beat them
Ldizzle Ibizzle: but they have what it takes to beat me too
Ldizzle Ibizzle: so its whoever wants it more we'll see
Appocolyptik: I know I could beat anyone on the roster in a 20+ line battle if I dropped my best, but at 1-2 I don't think I'll do well
Appocolyptik: who do you see being the first champ?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: hmm out of them.. X-treme
Appocolyptik: we will see
Appocolyptik: so anything you would like to say before we conclude?
Ldizzle Ibizzle: just that once you see how we r going to be organizing this league more and more will want in
Ldizzle Ibizzle: its going to be dope.. so sign up now before its too late
Appocolyptik: Thank you LI
Appocolyptik: its been a pleasure speaking to you
Ldizzle Ibizzle: word u too Appo.. pz
Appocolyptik: Interview Concluded 23:15

So Who’s Down this Season?

Nick Fletcher
This guy is the definition of formidable. I’ve battled him twice, beaten him once and the other time we got 3 votes, but both were two of the best battles I’ve ever had. However he has absolutely whored people who most couldn’t beat even if they no showed. Nick is very well known but coming up with fuck loads of lines every week and obliterating any foolish enough to underestimate him. The guys an RV legend, what more can I say? I don’t know how he’ll fare at 1-2 but my guess is that he’ll be the first to take the title belt

LI
The name LI brings mixed reactions on RV. Many believe him to be ‘past it’, and because of that refuse to put him in RV legends. But the guys record speaks for himself. In his time on RB he’s beaten dope heads like Expo and Eclipse and went on a whorage rampage in LLLjr. Underestimate him at your peril. He may not be dropping the kind of verses he used to, but given the incentive he will go far in this league.

Daubs
RV’s resident soft hearted meathead who has a penchant for text. Daubs is looking to make the transition from nice to dope this year and has beaten many ill battlers in his time. He had a pretty meh record in LBL but that’s only because he’s been battling against the toughest guys in the league whereas people like Arel Avent were lucky and got wack heads nearly every week. Take nothing away from Daubs, he has elevated loads in the last few months and has a witty style combined with hard-hitting punches.

Appocolyptik
This guy has never done 1-2 punches before, so no one knows how he’ll do. He is no stranger to 30-40 line monstrous battles however, and if he translates his prowess at big battles into the 1-2 league he’ll do well. In less than 6 months he’s got a battle in legends, beat dope heads, got a verse of the week in LBL and accumulated several mod positions. Known on RB as Demon Pyrokronix, he had a dope run in LLLjr getting 2 verses of the week, 1 battle of the week and at least 2 punches in the top 10 every week.

Script
Not too much is known about Script, except that he wins 1-2’s. He got into the playoffs on RB not too long ago and had a good run of wins. I see him having a decent run here, maybe he won’t become the champ but he’ll elevate and will rack up a nice set of wins.

Datrushurtz
Used to be dope, I don’t know how good he is now because I haven’t seen him battle in a long time, but I presume he’s still good. If he’s the same Datrus that was dropping niggaz in the LLL a year ago he’ll go really far here. If you’re comparing on what people have done in the past Datrus is maybe the best in the league here.

Untold
Some of his voting is ridiculously generous and that reduces his credibility. But I’ve read some LLL mags saying he’s elevated a lot and that he’s been dropping well. I’ve never really seen anything that impressive from him but maybe he’s elevated a lot in LLL and will bring lots of fire here.

Original
He is very versatile in that he’s pretty sick at both topical and text. I haven’t seen a whole lot from him but he dropped quite nicely last week and looks to be good at 1-2. He is an accomplished RB head and I can see him heading for a title match somewhere down the line.

Troop
To be honest not too many rate him very highly but judging on some of his LBL cyphers they’re very wrong. He got the 2 best punch lines in LBL the other week and both were sick as fuck. Maybe he’s not that great at big line battles because of his inconsistency but at 1-2 he’s hot. I see him elevating in this league and doing nicely.

Enygma
He complained about me not mentioning him before but the truth is I haven't seen too much from him. He DID become the first 1-2 champ this year though so he can drop hard. If his records are anything to go by he'll do very well here, and maybe rack up a big set of wins, we'll have to see.

Ken'Pho
He came with a very shitty punch last weak but I am assured that's him half assing, though why you'd half ass in a champ match is beyond me. I saw a verse of his against Malicious in LBL and it was one of the worst verses I've seen in a whil. Judging by what I've seen this guy's gonna get whored worse than Serbian boys.

^That’s pretty much the people worth mentioning who I know of.

Outro

Word, thank you very much for reading and thank you LI for the interview. Also I’d like to give a special mention to the mods of this league who are always full of ideas and put lots of time and effort in. Also I’d like to thank KempoMRK who’s dope mags inspire me to write good ones myself. I don’t see the running of the league being a problem due to the professionalism of Led Poetic, LI and Datrushurtz. But then again, it’s up to YOU the competitors to make it happen here. YOU have to drop hard every week and vote on others battles. I look forward to seeing what you can do this season.

Peace

Fool ive been in every rb 1-2 playoffs since i joined, "not so long ago", meh

but nice mag apo

nice mag, job well done

I haven't decided if I'm going to compete in this league yet, though. I want to, but sometimes I believe its best that mods don't actually compete in the leagues they are modding. What do you guys think?

Actually fuck it, I want to compete and I'll be fair about it, I'm in

actully u forgot about alot of other people also down in this 1-2 thing...

like my-self unless u was only nameing like mods or something.....

a week off?? thats like B.S but whatever is going down make sure ya all agree an do it correctly.....

__________________
NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH!!!!

i recon he was just naming the coo cats

LI, how many times have I beat you
remember when you 1st came back to RV in KLL
and i welcomed you back with a KO?

Wow....I win the title last week and I'm not worth mentioning, huh

__________________

I don't know a lot of the people in this league and seeing as the signups aren't complete I couldn't do full predictions. I only did people I know well or knew on RV, because there's no point me writing about someone saying 'he's meant to be good but I haven't seen anything by him'.

Thanks for the props.

I added your profile, and that of Ken'Phos. I hope you're happy.

Nah, not really

__________________

Why not you ungrateful little bitch

because i won a battle an wasnt mention........

so what it was a no-show lol..........

how u write about people u only know thats like saying u'll only vote for people u know???

not good for this leauge....

__________________
NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH!!!!

What the fuck? That's not true at all. And don't complain about me not reviewing battles, because WHAT BATTLES ARE THERE TO REVIEW? Rofl it's preseason, we're starting afresh. I was gonna do throwback battles but have only got into the 1-2 punch seen over the last week.

And that shit about me voting for people I know is complete bullshit. I'm a fair voter, always have been. I'm PREDICTING the people I mentioned to go far, the people I didn't mention aren't predicted to do as well.