is this good
if not, what's wrong with it.............................
a true mc knows when help is needed

[QUOTE]Originally posted by legin
is this good
if not, what's wrong with it.............................
a true mc knows when help is needed [/QUOT
anybody step to me i leave bullet in ya back/
ready to put heat on ya head like a Miami fitted cap/
u aint on da same level i'm on/
when bullets start flyin u get low like Lil' Jon/
talk tough and i'll get u bloody like a tampon/
me beating u is like tryin to fuck a drunk prostitute...it's too easy/
i'll leave u stitched up like a authentic jersey/
when it comes 2 gunz i'm takin 20 shotz a night like James Worthy/
i'm taking over like Saddam Hussein/ i tuck in heat in only thing u tuck in is ya chain

Need to elevate propa. Read the tutorials and start practising

We All Start Somewhere

^^^ I wern't dissing him

Dude You got tha potential to rap and you got ok wordplay.
You just gotta make your lines less choppy and even out your bars.
Try to go deeper into what you spittin to aswell.
If you need any help in perfectin yah shit holla at me on msn

emin3m1222@hotmail.com

or just reply in here Or both

Peace

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anybody step to me i leave bullet in ya back/
ready to put heat on ya head like a Miami fitted cap/

Theres no need for Miami to be on that line, make sure all your words have a reason they are there

u aint on da same level i'm on/
when bullets start flyin u get low like Lil' Jon/
talk tough and i'll get u bloody like a tampon/

Potential with those lines, fix the length of them so it flows better

me beating u is like tryin to fuck a drunk prostitute...it's too easy/
i'll leave u stitched up like a authentic jersey/

What in gods name does jerseys have to do with hoes...make sure your lines connect in some way...once again the flow really was bad on this one...say the lines out

when it comes 2 gunz i'm takin 20 shotz a night like James Worthy/
i'm taking over like Saddam Hussein/ i tuck in heat in only thing u tuck in is ya chain

hmm, might i suggest staying away from guns...this is the internet... i like the james worthy idea but you should keep a theme to your lines...spell check might do wonders for your verse...the tuck in idea is decent, just need a better approach

hope that helped

All Imma Say Is Miami Heat (I'm from tha Uk And even i know that)

This guy has potential he's hit me up on msn so imma help him out with his rhymin

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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=darkgreen)>Elevating With The Power Of The Mind</center></table>

thank you for pointin that out.
some dumb asses don't get what i'm saying and think i say shit for no reason

actually that was a pretty good line realist, havent you heard of the miami heat?

other then that i agree with what he said. but you show potential, you alot better then most people i have seen

well i dont really got no say cuz u betta then me lol

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HOLSTER