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Old 05-25-03, 06:29 AM   #1
Manic Killer
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Feedback on my fav lines in battle

IP: D560 888F

hey yo kapone - i kno a lotta SHIT gets posted here but im seriously lookin for some feedback so plz dont close my thread...

here are some of my fav' lines from the couple of battles ive had tell me what u think. I know im no elite but i think some of these are alright.....

I land lines that land like land mines i freeze time when i break ryhmes//
VS Golden Gramz

somewhere - out there - is a 'brand new kitchen'//
go there - cook there - and 'quit yo bitchin'//
VS hottie7

darkforce crossed his own path and gave himself bad luck//
right here i confused this black cat fuck//
VS darkforce

feed me back and post yo fav 1 or 2 lines from a battle or open mic of urs
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Old 05-26-03, 01:43 AM   #2
Kapone
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finnaly, some one uses this forum for the right stuff...

lyrics,.. not bull shit questions that you can find elsewhere

im not going to give you a full break down or nuthin..

but your lines are good, especially the landmines one, its called a flip flop scheeme, alotta word play involved and such 2 set in one line

good shit, keep it up, ull get there,

ill leave this one open for others to veiw and such
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Old 05-29-03, 10:56 PM   #3
Duce I Rae
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IM not a big fan of that style I try to have my own style that is diffrent from everyone elses but I guess peeps don't always like my style or don't feel it ... its all good peace
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Old 05-29-03, 11:35 PM   #4
demise
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nice lines.....i see you got experience....shyt, you workin your way though..
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Old 05-30-03, 03:39 AM   #5
Manic Killer
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thanx to all for the feedback - feel free to drop a few of ur lines
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Old 05-30-03, 07:37 PM   #6
cameronj86
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yea not bad... some of my fav lines i used were
(after being dissed with one of those "i fucked ya girl" lines

If u rap about me and my lady's sex life, thats a bad sign
This guy needs a Girlfriend more than *Nsync, Nelly, and B2k combined!

another line i liked was:
I'll tear you apart, to the end from the start, I got endurance
U so certain of a loss, you bought rapper's insurance
cuz my words are natural disasters the way they destroy lives
This batttle aint a sweat like a cool down exercise

and after I got dogged for my first rap (not enuff pucnhes, they said)
I'm here with more game, metaphorically speaking
Afta tha loss, I'm back from the dead like Bernie's Weekend

those are pretty old ones i used on a different site but i gotta study for exams nowadays so i aint got much time, once that's over i'll have more time to think of punches

Keep l-ev8-n
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Old 05-31-03, 03:15 PM   #7
TOoNGFX
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I think that you have a nice style to elevate on, those lines are okay, but they just rhyme, they have no punch.........this line was straight, but you need a punch at the end

Quote:
I land lines that land like land mines i freeze time when i break ryhmes//


but it had a nice flow though.......................
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Old 06-01-03, 03:49 AM   #8
Manic Killer
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thanx.....hmm and i see that ur right............. hmmm....... thanx dude.........
and cameron some of then lines packed some nice punches, liked the insurance bit
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Old 06-04-03, 09:04 AM   #9
K-RaZy
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nice lines dawg, ill give you that
but that dont really hurt
if anything just make them more offensive
otherwise..nice
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Old 06-06-03, 03:47 AM   #10
younggadget
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the ryhmes was tight but its missing something .i dont know what it is im just freeposting
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Old 06-15-03, 12:47 AM   #11
verbal ice
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Line about Landmines was hot

needs alittle more though

u got skills man
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Fuck the haters
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Old 06-15-03, 03:21 AM   #12
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Re: Feedback on my fav lines in battle

IP: 872B E5DF

ok im 0-0 but thats only because i dont battle onlince cause of dick riders.....but i know how to battle so i will try to help

Quote:
think. I know im no elite but i think some of these are alright.....

I land lines that land like land mines i freeze time when i break ryhmes//
VS Golden Gramz



this is a good line of your using it in a song, but not in a battle, when you battle you should never talk about your self, thats not what batling is about, it bugs me to see people that battle and talk about them self........but it was a ok line just doesnt belong in a battle.

Quote:
somewhere - out there - is a 'brand new kitchen'//
go there - cook there - and 'quit yo bitchin'//


doesnt really hit hard, hottie is a girl so i understand what you where tring to do. but what lines did you use to set that up? and what did you say to fallow it up? its hard to say if its a good line or not cause i cant see the lines before and after it......

Quote:
darkforce crossed his own path and gave himself bad luck//
right here i confused this black cat fuck//
VS darkforce


that was OK but "right here i confused this black cat fuck" could have been more creative and worded better........the black cat fuck just sounds stupid

but you have potential to be a good battler.
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