|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
|
|||||||
| View Poll Results: Who Wrote This Topic Better? | |||
| Apotheosis |
  
|
5 | 100.00% |
| Poetic Justice |
  
|
0 | 0% |
| Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll | |||
|
|
Thread Tools | Search this Thread | Display Modes |
07-06-04, 05:21 PM
|
#1
|
|
|
DaTrus Is A Bitch!
|
Apotheosis Vs. Poetic Justice
IP: E5EB 11E6
.::Rules::. 20-30 Lines Max 5 Votez Winz No Crew No Hate No D/R Checks Due By 7/8/04 Spits Due By 7/10/04 Votes Due By 7/13/04 Topic: Poetry In Motion Good Luck To Both Emcees! ~R~ |
|
|
|
|
07-06-04, 05:44 PM
|
#2
|
|
|
Banned: Spamming
|
IP: DF7B C8F7
In.....lol......biting my user title......good luck Justice
|
|
|
|
|
07-06-04, 06:40 PM
|
#3
|
|
|
poetically and justifiably sick
|
IP: 6AD2 8F43
in...........yep gud luk..........................
|
|
|
|
|
07-08-04, 05:12 PM
|
#4
|
|
|
Banned: Spamming
|
IP: 4C49 64C6
Poetry In Motion My fingers clutch around the pen its tip drifts across the paper, as the ink touches a blank canvas I gain the gift of a creator. I poise my tool of imagination ready to pour my pondering, famish for inspiration around the room my eyes are wandering. Through every nook & cranny Ins & outs . . . . high & lows, Searching for that trigger To relinquish my prose. Abrupt eruptions develop that interrupts my focus, shoulders hold a mind full of poetry but their motion is too slow to notice. My mind becomes a scavenger scurrying through past memories, suddenly I think of Joanna & the last words she said to me. “Harry you have changed. . . it seems as if your no longer the same person, no longer when we make love is our hearts merging. Instead its your lust your basic sexual attraction, while im performing my duties for your satisfaction. So its time we ended search happiness in new angles, & we cant pull some strings to sort it for you have made them all tangle. So this is goodbye. . . I will always love you in a funny way, but im afraid our puppy love has now gone stray.” I miss her every second. . . it will be long to cure this heart of mine, but I’ll smash every clock I see to help me kill the time. For all I did wrong that this angel I did not cherish, your gorgeous face & beautiful heart & those lips I did not relish. I hope you find someone that will take you and show you bliss, that would make you so happy you will be lead to an alter where you kiss. & from there you continue you give life to those as beautiful as you, & they give you joyful days times 10 for every bad memory I gave you. You were my heart poetry to me was my emotions, & I’m dead if you are not happy so please continue to put. . . Poetry in motion. |
|
|
|
|
07-10-04, 03:04 PM
|
#5
|
|
|
poetically and justifiably sick
|
poetry in motion
IP: 6AD2 8F43
tough subject.....heres my take on it...
Look around the world...Visions of poetry in motion
Amazing swirl of coral fish...Adourning our great oceans Soul catching inner peace...Sound of waves stroking exotic beach Mezmorizing beauty of natural pebble..Below bronzed feet Majestic flight of the eagle...And its fatal swoop The beauty of the kill...As its prey it scoops As i sit now and observe...Wind caresing beautifull trees The wonder of natures growth...Plants and garden peas Lethal strike of the trigger fish...The way is catches its prey The same skill used by frogs...In the same carismatic way Lovingly great poets speak..Capturing aspects of life The smooth precision...In how a surgeon uses his knife How a star carrys ancient light...Across night skys Bustling city life...The bewildering complexity of lives Sow a seed...watch the rain give it its starting push The way in which god created...the edible blackberry bush A painters brush flows...lovingly a story is created The way in which a national victory is celebrated Think of how a heart...Consistently pumps its blood How you would spend millions...If only you could Way in which a love song is created...Spoken from the heart The way in which gift of time heals...Eventually after love departs To understand the topic dosent take magic or a secret potion Plain for everyone to see the beauty above is..Poetry in motion Last edited by PoEtIc JuStIcE : 07-10-04 at 03:14 PM. Reason: structure |
|
|
|
|
07-10-04, 03:11 PM
|
#6
|
|
|
Banned: Spamming
|
IP: 4C49 64C6
good topic....good opponent...great verse.....either way this goes Im happy to get this far and good luck Justice I can learn alot from your writing style. . .either way this goes.......thanks.
 |
|
|
|
|
07-10-04, 03:17 PM
|
#7
|
|
|
poetically and justifiably sick
|
IP: 6AD2 8F43
thanx a lot mate...appreciate that....i liked your verse 2...
may the best man win... i edited it coz it wasnt quite finished...hope u dnt mind |
|
|
|
|
07-11-04, 07:22 PM
|
#8
|
|
|
DaTrus Is A Bitch!
|
IP: E3D5 FE0F
Aight Check..
Poetic Justice: 4/10 You Completly Took The Subject and Ruined The Meaning Of Poetry In Motion. You Had Sum Good Lines That Had Emotion But Your Shit Was Just A Run-On No Real Stick Out Talent Verse. You Need A New Style...Just Elevate. Apotheosis: 7/10 Nice Structure..The Rhyme Scheme Was Nice How You Ryhmed Every Other Line. Not My Style But I Mos Def Liked It. Your Emotion Was...Well Aight....But Your Point Was Across. Nice Drop Man. Keep It Up and Elevate. Vote - Apotheosis ~R~ |
|
|
|
|
07-12-04, 11:23 PM
|
#9
|
|
Miss Me?
|
IP: 3240 794D
Vote - Apotheosis...
He took this wit a creative structure and rhyme scheme...good emotion and a nice approach to the topic....poetic didnt do too well with the topic...didnt have a better flow....just keep working at it poetic....
__________________
That Old School Mother Fucker  Aint That A Bitch? Crhyme Sindicate
|
|
|
|
07-13-04, 12:12 AM
|
#10
|
|
|
The Epitome Of Greatness
|
IP: 4289 77F4
pretty good topical battle...apotheosis i was really feeling your verse i thought i wouldnt like your structure at first but then i began to enjoy it and i thought it made your verse a lil bit better...i think you flowed pretty consistent and stayed on the topic consistent also...good topical piece from you
overall : 8/10 poetic justice you also had a very good piece but i wasnt feeling it as much as apotheosis's verse...you had some raw emotion in your verse but not as much as you usually do i think this was your worst topical i have seen from you...you didnt really grasp the concept or the topic overall : 5/10 vote: apotheosis ~!1!~
__________________
RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion  |
|
|
|
|
|
07-13-04, 12:14 AM
|
#11
|
|
|
DaTrus Is A Bitch!
|
IP: A6AC 0B1C
Its Past Voting Deadline...
Winner...Apotheosis ~R~ |
|
|
|
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
