Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
01-12-06, 06:25 PM | #1 | |||||
Banned: Cheating
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Never Coming Home
IP: 6D63 C59D
Hook x2
Gatherin Smiles That Have Slipped Kisses Lost And Hugs That I Miss Regainin Your Soul In My Presence My Love Bears The Spark Of You Essence Never Said, Never Told You I'd Wait And It's Come To A Cliff Were It's Too Late Since You Lost Grasp, Out Of Sight Knowin You're Never Comin Home Tonight Intro To Verse The Clouds Gather, The Gods Tear For A Soul Departed Paint A Portrait To Show The World How This Story Started Verse 1 Birds Shirping, Birth On This Earth, You Heard Workin A Seed Had Sprouted, A Mother Shouted, But It's All Worth It For Fifteen Minutes, Twenty Seconds, Came A Blessing Life's A Book, And This Was Only As Read, Another Lesson... Although The Parents Took A Different Course, Signed Divorce Behind Remorce Was A Mother And A Child, See Love Is Force She Run A Torch And Handed Down Values To Her Only Child Later To Be Known The Dad Came Back....After Being Gone For A While And Everything Was Beauty, It Was Simply And Truly A Wonder Of God, For There Was No Violence, Hate, Or Cruelty Whent Out And Left A Note, Honey I'll Be Back, I'm Gone But He Never Knew That She Wouldn't Be Comin Back Home Hook x2 Gatherin Smiles That Have Slipped Kisses Lost And Hugs That I Miss Regainin Your Soul In My Presence My Love Bears The Spark Of You Essence Never Said, Never Told You I'd Wait And It's Come To A Cliff Were It's Too Late Since You Lost Grasp, Out Of Sight Knowin You're Never Comin Home Tonight Verse 2 Drivin Swiftly, Hittin Up Fifty, To The Day Care Center Under Rain, Suddenly Felt Someone Strike Her Back Fender Dogding And Swirvin Left To Right, Let's Place This Wreck Aside To Her Husband Who Decided To Meet Up After His Exericise So While Driving, He Reaches Traffic, Gets Out To Look Past It It Seems To Be A Vehicle, Flipped And Torn, Wait! Can't It? No It Couldn't, As He Dashes Through People To The Scene Only To Find, Fataly Injured, It's The Girl Of His Dreams So Holding Her Close, To The Point He Can Hear Her Breath He Breaks Into Tears, It's Thunderng, And He's On His Knees A Croud Gathers, While Feelings Cluster The Tragedy For Who Would Imagine Such Thing Would Be For This Family Then He Hugs Her The Last Time, Places A Kiss On Her Lips As She Departs, How The Hell Do You Tell This To Your Kid...... Hook x2 Gatherin Smiles That Have Slipped Kisses Lost And Hugs That I Miss Regainin Your Soul In My Presence My Love Bears The Spark Of You Essence Never Said, Never Told You I'd Wait And It's Come To A Cliff Were It's Too Late Since You Lost Grasp, Out Of Sight Knowin You're Never Comin Home Tonight i'll have my links up soon |
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01-12-06, 06:44 PM | #2 | |||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 6D63 C59D
wow! This was real good, i really like your vocab and tyhe whole topic. it's pretty creative. good job
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01-13-06, 12:19 AM | #3 | |||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: F1FC 4749
uppin for some more feedback...thanks for the feed shady lady, thought you weren't gonna come back....
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01-13-06, 05:51 PM | #4 | |||||
in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
yeah, i didn't like the first verse very much, wasn't really accurate, i think, you weren't really specific with your lines in altering the story...on the other hand, the secnod verse had some great emotion, it was put together nicely mainly because you weren't trying to force inners, i got into it, you're getting better, but still need to work on staying totally focused on the topic, make every line contribute, don't waste a single one! but good, the hook was cool too ,probly be better in audio, keep up
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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01-15-06, 04:59 PM | #5 | ||||
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IP: 31C2 62EB
closed no links..and your banned.
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