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Old 02-13-05, 07:42 PM   #1
ShayShayCapone
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From: JOLIET AKA DA ET(RITE OUTSIDE CHICAGO)
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THE PUPIL( The man's story)

IP: 0825 899A

In his eyes I seen the struggle, his pupil told me a story\
His clothing was past filthy and his book appeared ta me boring\
But this man was like no otha, couldnt shake him, he had a hold on me\
And who'd think I live my life from scriptures his brown eyes solely told ta me\
He was a fatha spawnin two generations - The intelligent will undastand\
Slowly losin' his faith but toted a bible dat was tucked in his hand\
I could've sworn the pupil told me he was rich but didnt appear so\
Cause he was dirty, his braids matted, and his shirt ripped through to his torso\
Always fallin and staggerin spillin' amounts of his old english,
but whether or not he was a handsome man the pupil helped me distinguish\
His family died in a crash givin' reason for clinchin' bottles\
Though the high was temporary the habit lingered inside him\
People judgin' his characta only knowin' his physical,
not knowin dat obstacles wouldn't bury his spiritual\
And I feel he sees me starin' although he nevea connects wit me\
I feel a gush of wind and a voice callin' out PROPHECY\
And the pupil, brown in its stature, enlightens me on his issues\
The sole reason for thought collection leads me ta cryin' tissues\
Then his pupil breaks energy and I no longa connect wit him\
Now I hold an understandin' and no longa thinks less of him\

Thanks to the pupil.....





rated\gave feedback:

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=176412 << Reincarnation

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=176258 << Loyalty





SHAY SHAY CAPONE...GET AT CHA GUL
__________________
Shay PONE crazy ever since my mama had a OOPS in tha 80's\
And now females youngin behind they make-up havin dey script bent\
Listenin to wutevea'z an epidemic a statistic ta NON=SENSE\
And Im jus me a echoin' voice...murderin' every scrimmage\
These gurls is jus gimmics STOP BOOTLEGGIN MY IMAGE\
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Old 02-14-05, 08:26 PM   #2
ShayShayCapone
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From: JOLIET AKA DA ET(RITE OUTSIDE CHICAGO)
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IP: 0825 899A

Ok mane...I know I'm new but dayumz is it too much ta ask for some feedbak?....I mean I respect yaLL and give it so I expect that u would return tha gratitude and give me some back....thanx.....1n3

UPPIN DIS FA FEEDBACK
__________________
Shay PONE crazy ever since my mama had a OOPS in tha 80's\
And now females youngin behind they make-up havin dey script bent\
Listenin to wutevea'z an epidemic a statistic ta NON=SENSE\
And Im jus me a echoin' voice...murderin' every scrimmage\
These gurls is jus gimmics STOP BOOTLEGGIN MY IMAGE\
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Old 02-14-05, 09:08 PM   #3
supamann
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IP: 3240 794D

The content was ok, the rhymes ere pretty basic, the flow wasnt that good to be honest, but keep working and you will eventually do better alright? keep doing your thing alrighht mayn
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