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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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| View Poll Results: Who Won? | |||
| Lampejo |
  
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6 | 100.00% |
| Wordz Ahgod |
  
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0 | 0% |
| Voters: 6. You may not vote on this poll | |||
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08-31-06, 05:45 PM
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#1
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Whys That?
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Lampejo vs Wordz Ahgod
IP: 5285 DC82
Topic: A wise man once said
Line limit: Open Check in due 3rd of september. 11:59 Pacific Battles due 7th of september.11:59 Pacific Voting will end 11th of september. 11:59 Pacific Next round will go up 12th of september Looser leaves the tournament  |
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09-01-06, 12:55 AM
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#2
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ROFL @ u niggas since '04
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IP: FC94 E1E4
Chicky check doggy....I'll drops later manny fresh.. 1
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figure I could drop by and promote my my first mixtape and what not since im here..  
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09-01-06, 11:49 AM
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#3
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IP: 4242 4FE8
Word good thing i got on here i thought we wasnt starting this until next week.. Ys' remember what i said... gunna take some time for that ish
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09-01-06, 01:11 PM
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#4
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ROFL @ u niggas since '04
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IP: FC94 E1E4
In a cold day, I shiver and wonder - why life sucks The heater never worked here - but shit, thats just my luck But why the fuck did I come here? Im not appreciated I wish life would be shorter ...or atleast abreviated Ive seen the hatred at times, they dont see me the same But I say fuck friends - 'Coz they aint the reason I came My father once said .. "People come and go - so dont stress" That he said clear - right before he packed up and left And moms has 3 jobs and only one life for each So my brother once said ..."You'll lose the bait if you sleep" And I never said a peep, But I worry about em' at night Mom says he's a good kid ...But cops dont see it a like But he'll take care of me, I know life aint so bad But then I heard he's going to jail - for 6 months and half And I would hold my head high ...and not just give up... But a wise man once said, "Shit, thats just my Luck"
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figure I could drop by and promote my my first mixtape and what not since im here..
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09-01-06, 02:18 PM
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#5
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IP: 94E0 FF3C
A wise man once said:
Let the blood and the sweat run down the rivers bend Without the bitter sweetness of death there will be no end Let the baldes of the rose bushes plentifuly rip flesh appart Because once there has been lost love there will be no heart Watch as the sand begins to swirl around as the tornado begins Exposing bone and flesh tear apart as the worldpool start to sing Coconut sented rasberrys swirl as the earth starts to quake Without the ground beneth you there is noone left to forsake With no sight there is no scene without hands there is no touch Ignorance is bliss but without simplistity there is nothing much As the world turns the famous sites around the globe burn n crumble While everything turns to dust and we vanish we all to stay humble Without the light there can be only darkness, no light not now nor never Everything around starts to debilitate the evil apears even more cleaver So what do you do when the world is ending and nowhere to turn Well to be honest, i simpled said fuck it and let the motherfucker burn no more solid as the world lumbers weakly an axis of defiance while alone and lost within swallowed by unknown faceless extremes and as the dance slows to a shallow tempo carve your deities within the hollow cave while lonliness consumes the sanity The words of a once wise man echo on threwout eturnity |
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09-01-06, 02:20 PM
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#6
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IP: 94E0 FF3C
Alright lets get some votes up in here...
Good luck wordz Glad we got this up early |
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09-01-06, 02:46 PM
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#7
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ROFL @ u niggas since '04
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IP: FC94 E1E4
yeah ...no point putting it off for ever man. good drop though.
__________________
figure I could drop by and promote my my first mixtape and what not since im here..
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09-02-06, 01:12 PM
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#8
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A Life Of Chryme
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IP: BE98 C609
Wordz Ahgod-Your verse was just okay for me man. I felt the simplicity did not work to your advantage in this drop. Your vocabulary was so basic it did not apply to your emotion or verse at all. It had more of a quick text flow then a slow paced topical piece which was sort of bad because it lacked the nessacary imagery you need. Overall it was an okay drop You got your simple point across but the problem is you never elevated from the simple level ill give you a 5/10
Lampejo-This piece was pretty good, I enjoyed the read The emotion was good in your piece...You had a good topical flow unlike your opponent..Your imagery was more appreciatable. This in my eyes was a one sided battle. You had good meaningfull thoughts in your verse which not only let me read but think about what you were saying which made the read much more enjoyable..overall id give you 8/10 v/ Lampejo.
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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09-02-06, 01:21 PM
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#9
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ROFL @ u niggas since '04
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IP: FC94 E1E4
wtf? I was told by peace that this shit was more topical like if you where writing to a song then Poetry like you where writing for a coffee table book.
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figure I could drop by and promote my my first mixtape and what not since im here..
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09-02-06, 02:05 PM
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#10
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IP: A493 361B
This tourny is more topical then poetry...
Wordz dont take any offence by it i've been writing for along time and im more known for my writtens then text so dont be offended if you lose... you had a good piece you just need to elevate in some areas... like put some metas in there along with some eternal rhyme scheme and your imagery and emotion could be beefed up aswell.. you just need to write more and think of something completly different granted the piece you wrote might have been from real life there has been 1000 pieces like that written on here and other sites... people like to see abstract writing compared to stuff they ahve seen before |
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09-02-06, 06:17 PM
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#11
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New to RV
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IP: 24FC 71DC
Wordz Ahgod - Too simple, pretty weak vocab, which pretty much created a simplicit vision to run with for me.
Lampejo - Good vocab, created a strong vision too, stayed consistant and you put fourth the topic alot better than your opponent. Overall - Like Richard said it was a pretty one sided event, most important think in my eyes with topical, is the vision created, and Lampejo was point blank V/Lampejo |
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09-03-06, 10:38 AM
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#12
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New to RV
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IP: 2FC3 39DD
wordz ahgod-- this was kinda simplistic, no real complex rhyme scheme, no inners which made the flow below averageor any complex vocabulary either. The concept was definitely done to death. and the story wasn't developed enough. sorry man
lampejo -i think i left feed on this on rb, but it wasn't that amazing. the font was tough to read and the rhyme scheme was even weaker than wordz'z.. but luckily you used the topic a lot better than he did, and you incorporated some good vocabulary and metaphors... so vote - lamp
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09-03-06, 03:19 PM
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#13
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IP: 6C5D 2038
Uppin this for people to get 1 of their 2 votes needed since we are still the only ones to have the battle ready for votes
Ysdat, Keep me in this for next week
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Fuck Yuu Productions
5x PS HOF 2004 Poet of the year 3X writer of the month |
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09-03-06, 05:33 PM
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#14
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All these Dead Presidents
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IP: 20E8 620D
Wordz - Your piece had great emotion to it. That was most definately your strong point here. Now you did slip up when it came to the vocabulary, and imagery. This was like a story line but because your choice of words wasn't very vivid or complex, it really didn't give good imagery.
I would try to work on vocab and imagery. Try to really give the reader something to picture in the head. It will double if not triple the entertainment the reader gets from your piece. I have to leave work, allow me to finsih this when i get home. lol srry.
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- Chryme Syndicate - so - S T F U - My Literature
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09-04-06, 09:56 PM
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#15
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All these Dead Presidents
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IP: 87EB D237
Quote:
As I was saying..... Overall decent read for someone who doesn't put out a lot of topicals. Lamp - Your piece was nicely put together. Your vocabulary was very colorful. I fell that some of your lines were a little crammed with higher syllable words which stretched your lines here and there but overall they weren't bad. The imagery was pretty good here, definately better than Wordz' but, he gave more emotion than you did. It evens out though in those two categories. The structure showed that some of your lines were a bit stretched but I shalln't repeat myself. overall - I think everything that i've said should some up my decision. Lamp pretty much owned this in everything except for emotion. The only thing I can bash lamp about is his font size. That shit was way too small. I shouldn't have to squint to read a whole piece. I admit i'm not 20/20 vision but, it's quite annoying. \V/ - Lampejo
__________________
- Chryme Syndicate - so - S T F U - My Literature
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