this is me first peice that u lot r gonna see!!!

its not much but its a track i've write that I hope 2 record soon using the beat by styles p called i'm black



Hook......
I'M TIGHT!
JUST BECAUSE MY SKINS KINDA LIGHT, IT DONT MEAN I AINT GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO ROCK THE MIC
I'M TIGHT!
NA MY WRIST DONT SHINE REAL BRIGHT BUT IT COUL IF I WANTED COS IM REAL REAL TIGHT!!

Verse.....
I'M TIGHT!
& I MIGHT!...
fight with ya posse and order u around cos im a little bit bossy
u can toss me in ur barbecue, but its ok tho
cos im burnin up with a bar or two
i'll make a star of u just 4 speakin my name
we take it 2 a track & i overlap wiv this rap game
I attract fame and lyrically attack lames
supplyin that dope line without touchin cocaine
IM TIGHT!
so watch thereigh pour, watchu waitin for?
grabbin ur umbrella in themist of this downpor
like its gonna save u/i made u/and ez as that I could brake u
ur gunna think i raped u, then aim wiv that pepper spray
now ur constantly listnin 2 pac hopin for a better day
i'll let u take 2 shots..call me director
my games so sick i spit it too infect ya! (YE!)

Hook....
I'M TIGHT!
JUST BECAUSE MY SKINS KINDA LIGHT, IT DONT MEAN I AINT GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO ROCK THE MIC
I'M TIGHT!
NA MY WRIST DONT SHINE REAL BRIGHT BUT IT COUL IF I WANTED COS IM REAL REAL TIGHT!!

Verse....
all my people salute me/gangstar ur just a groupie!
im the general & my enemy wouldnt even shoot me
OI PUSS! the bullets touch and leave u wet up
u dont even have da mojo 2 make them get up
raize a set up? why? id rather throw up a mic
strapped wiv a cord then diagnose mudrer like Van dyke
see, me without skill is like big will poppin a pill
he'll either see a purple hill or i'll drop heavy as uncle phil
u can gurantee i will
write ill rhymes, make u read between the lines
and all u see'n is a middle finger in its prime
screamin fuck the world! then i fuck ya girl
we was goin at it so long even her hair would curl (YEP)
the average mc is borin on da mic, they got u in a sleeper
& its been this way since rockstars kickin a speaker
smashin a guitar/here i'll brake it down with these bars
u wont get very far pittin ur wit witho one thats sick
cos there aint an mc u can sit wiv me that i wont rip (shit)

hmm, not bad, could use alot of work though....i duno, maybe sound cool on audio...you have alot of stupid stuff in there though...but i liked that umbrella line, that was coo...keep up

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This was pretty cool, it may sound betta once u record it. And like Drakel said u got a lot of stupid but funny things in their. U might wanna take those out and add something a lil more serious in it, but thats just a suggestion. U also might wanna add more multies in places. Some lines that i liked were:

supplyin that dope line without touchin cocaine

all my people salute me/gangstar ur just a groupie!
im the general & my enemy wouldnt even shoot me

write ill rhymes, make u read between the lines
and all u see'n is a middle finger in its prime

I thought those were pretty nice. But keep up the work man aight. i'd give this a 7/10, like i said it might be betta if u record it. Please return the favor on my om called Runnin'. Thanks and Peace.

alrite cheers u lot i appreciate that mate.