Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-01-06, 05:03 PM | #1 | ||||||
New to RV
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Inside my Head
IP: 71BC 57C2
Inside my head In my brain lurks murky thoughts, plus some ingenious plans
Maintaining my moulded talent becomes heinous & damned Guess you’ll never understand the depth of my descriptions You’d still lose the gist… even if I explained shit in laymen’s These words are my emotions, few minds close & most open Left some lifted, others at-sea drenched in the quotes spoken Whatever was I’ve always spoke with truth-of-the-matter My aims to express… rather than to improve or get cheddar I dabble with structure in each stanza, that’s just my art I’m dubious of outsiders brainwaves, but I trust by heart To lead me devotedly… beating out rhythm through spirit The poet of deep ambit who takes the gambit and twists it Perhaps I’m a mortal misfit? ... Seems as if I don’t belong So blessed in forming song; surely God’s eye can’t be wrong Breathing this adrenalin, I prolong death from my doorstep Seizing the situation… these steely fingers are forceps I squeeze blood out of a stone… holding my own destiny …The best in me is yet to be seen, so check this scenery As it transmits on the big screen, life screams by in a blaze We see the gifted perish, seems there’s no escaping the grave I’m an ancient tree, roots seeping sustenance deep to the core I sleep… rise… shit… recycle the garbage & eat metaphors Before spewing forth this – substance of diabolic mantle Such passion rumbles… flying off – the dialectic handle If you look into – my irises – you’d fathom my motives & notice my notions be real charged with high-voltages Inspired by an – internal fire – that kindles the thinker Fingers itch to etch ink scripts on – fat bundles of paper Rhyming to escape the tumult… for time sure takes its toll You can demolish my flesh, yet it takes more to break this soul |
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02-01-06, 05:11 PM | #2 | |||||
Cuz I'm Old Skool Baby
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IP: 042E 9E4C
i absolutely love this man, u have a good grasp of vocabulary, i dont think the topic quite suits what u've written, but u have written beautifully. some great imagery in there
Rhyming to escape the tumult… for time sure takes its toll You can demolish my flesh, yet it takes more to break this soul love those lines, great finisher. keep it up.
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This is my sig. what? I'm white so u KNOW i can't rap =) I will definitely RTF if u leave a link, thanks! |
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02-01-06, 06:57 PM | #3 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: D3CA A17D
it's good to see shit like this....rappin aint all about bling cars and all that shit....good vocab...it had really good flow...i'm not used to readin that kind of structure but it flowed really well when i read it...i'd give it an 8.5 outta 10
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02-02-06, 09:56 AM | #4 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: 297A EE7B
thanx 4 da lookout yo
word is born 1 |
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02-02-06, 03:05 PM | #5 | ||||
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IP: 31C2 62EB
Drop two links or this will be closed
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The Competition
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02-02-06, 04:37 PM | #6 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: 71BC 57C2
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02-11-06, 03:42 PM | #7 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: 71BC 57C2
we all done 4 feed on this joint then
or is this the wrong place to post this kind of stuff? |
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02-12-06, 03:40 AM | #8 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: 903F 26CB
I liked the beginging of the last stanza the most... nice vocabulary use in this... good structure through out... very solid piece... not too much else to say... considering the topic... *chuckles* I liked this though...
Peep this and give Constructive Feed Please
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\....../ \..../ \../ A.I. Spilled Inc. |
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02-12-06, 09:43 AM | #9 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: 0080 CDEC
yeah thanx 4 checkin it out blud
guess theres not a lot to feed on as such.. since it wasnt a story as such |
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02-16-06, 06:51 AM | #10 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: 0080 CDEC
any mo feeds on this joint
?????? |
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