|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-07-05, 01:34 PM
|
#1
|
|||||
|
The Epitome Of Greatness
|
Verbal Abuse Vs. Paramik
IP: 3240 794D
Rules:
Battles Go Up Friday Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time 20 Lines Minimum 40 Lines Maximum No Biting No Recycling Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week Topic: Fury Of Mother Nature
__________________
RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion  |
|||||
|
|
|
01-07-05, 07:47 PM
|
#3
|
|||||
|
Bonecrushing Nigga
|
IP: 9F36 9809
Check topic is iiight...
__________________
Guess who?... ...Paramik Fuckin'...
...Owns You! ||RVS Text Champion||
|
|||||
|
|
|
|
01-09-05, 09:46 PM
|
#4
|
|||||
|
Bonecrushing Nigga
|
IP: 9F36 9809
::|The Mother Natures Apocalypse|:: There was a horrible disaster once foretold, many years in the past. It was mentioned a natural danger, the whole blue and green mass. So strong was the fury of nature, gave the most devastating events. Man vs. Nature put to the test for the crime, facing the consequence. Mother Nature’s been abused too much, she couldn’t take it anymore. Her patience has gone thin and her whole beauty and heart was torn. So the rage swept across to the heart of the ocean, causing a tsunami. Echo of her raging voice across the valley plains, “You cannot stop me.” The unstoppable waves overflowed and flooded the seven continents. People were fleeing for their lives, they did not know what this meant. Now as she got more fiercer, she unleashed the devastating Hurricane. The winds ripping throughout, has Mother Nature really gone insane? Still the same, but the natural disasters are affecting the entire earth. In the west, the winds were picking up, creating sandstorms from dirt. Then up in the sky, the clouds start to darken coming with lightning. How was once a beautiful place, turned into something frightening? The Priests and the prophets were gathered, and they looked so shook. The Prophecy of the Apocalypse was true, exact year it was booked. They should’ve had not abused Mother Nature, look at its form it took. Not just stand there littering, while other people just watch and look. So the storm came raging on, never even ceased, not for a second. With floods, forceful winds, and storms, it was a fury to be reckoned. Now the fury was out of hand, God had tried to weaken and stop it. Mother Nature’s sheer fury seemed to go on out of hand and rocket. There was pollution everywhere and was toxicating the earth, burn this. Alas He saw no hope, and decided that the people really earned this. The apocalypse was truly this day, and God said its what they deserved. I mean, who would make a planet, just to see it get wrecked and disturbed?
__________________
Guess who?... ...Paramik Fuckin'...
...Owns You! ||RVS Text Champion||
|
|||||
|
|
|
|
01-10-05, 04:45 PM
|
#5
|
|||
|
As Seen On T.V.
|
IP: 8155 9B30
good read. was that a tribute to the tsunami in malaysia?
i'll drop tonight, dont worry.
__________________
quote your own damn lyrics...
|
|||
|
|
|
01-10-05, 07:30 PM
|
#6
|
|||||
|
Bonecrushing Nigga
|
IP: 9F36 9809
Hell no.. some predicted apocalypse shit.....that happens...
still waiting.. you dope topical writer...
__________________
Guess who?... ...Paramik Fuckin'...
...Owns You! ||RVS Text Champion||
|
|||||
|
|
|
|
01-10-05, 10:14 PM
|
#7
|
||||
|
Knock out kings fur life
|
IP: C636 71EE
hey hey hey now lets not get no beedy up in her if so take it to the beef thread but good drop.
 |
||||
|
|
|
01-11-05, 12:55 AM
|
#8
|
|||
|
As Seen On T.V.
|
IP: 5867 FD83
the Fury of Mother Nature: "death never came" having been an overseas parent, i was losing my marriage. days away from the courtroom & a month past miscarriage. signed & complete, i was given limited visits. so i left without kisses & some unfinished business. they might change their minds, knowing how i feel inside. since im losing them, they should lose me. an eye for an eye. started to pour out my will & finished with a poka-dotted letter. every tear symbolizing a moment i remember, i'll never forget her. kissed & ceiled it together... attached my wedding ring. my past has seen worse than anything hell or heaven bring... so many things, so many reasons not to be alive. why not die? im sure love wont have limits on the other side. in lou of suicide, i tightly blindfolded my eyes in fear... ...i would fail my death intended, as i sprinted down the ocean pier. the moment was nearly here: "God dont mistake this death... ...& comfort those ive left," i prayed as i took my final breath. i could hear my heart slowing, i counted fifteen beats. so i swallowed more water & survived fifteen blinks. i think i cheated death, but thats the last thing i wanted. this was immortal & freaky, let alone highly uncommon. maybe my life does have purpose...i inhailed for an entire minute. so i kicked to the surface... ...thinking life was better off, when i could actually end it. finished, good luck paramik. DONT SWAY.
__________________
quote your own damn lyrics...
|
|||
|
|
|
01-11-05, 01:11 PM
|
#9
|
||||
|
Odi et Amo
|
IP: 3BA7 496B
Nice battle, let me break it down...
Paramik It may be not too original but i loved how you made the topic your own. You described everything in a very vivid way, it was as if i was in the middle of it all. Your vocab was really nice, flow was cool n structure was good too. I definately liked how you ended your verse where you started referring to God and such. The emotion was deep too, i enjoyed reading this drop...Nice job!!! Verbal Abuse You tried to stay away from the predictable things which i thought was good of course. The vocab,flow n structure were straight on. Emotion was real nice, it was very readable, not too many big-shot dictionary words in it...You kept it quite simple but real tight, nice drop too! It's not what i expected to read with this topic so that's definately a plus point. But in the end my vote goes to Paramik because i was feeling his verse a little more, it had me captured the whole time...No hate, i enjoyed reading both drops but Paramik's had a little more to it... DQ
__________________
Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
||||
 
|
|
|
01-11-05, 08:06 PM
|
#10
|
|||
|
Tight.
|
IP: C959 12E0
Hmm, in my opinion you both had a good outlook on it. I'd have to say that I did like Verbal Abuse's verse more.
It took a new look on it, and I liked it alot. You both had good description but the concept that was developed in Verbals' I really took a liking too. I guess this boils down to personal opinion for me, and I liked Verbals a bit more. This was definetly a good battle though. |
|||
|
|
|
|
01-11-05, 08:30 PM
|
#11
|
|||
|
Paris Hilton Gone Crip
|
IP: 3240 794D
just checkin this...................................
__________________
A crip just like Bonecollector 
|
|||
|
|
|
01-11-05, 09:04 PM
|
#12
|
||||
|
IP: D5FE 7245
good battle...
beginning/end-verbal abuse...i liked verbals beginning and end better because it was more original...paramiks beginning felt not as original with the story he was about to tell and his ending was better but i thought verbals ending and beginning were better overall because of the story... flow-verbal abuse, it basically had a better flow and multies kept it on track i liked the flow here a lot paramiks was good in the beginning then got a little shaky but i think verbals stayed good practically the whole verse. emotion-verbal abuse, paramiks verse felt like its been told already or it wasnt in the eyes of his own so it wasnt personal enough to give out a descent amount of emotion...he brought great detail but the emotion just wasnt as there as verbals...it felt like verbal had gone through that with the certain words used and felt more personal... vocab-paramik, basically a higher/more extensive vocabulary and brought out a lot of detail into the story... imagery/detail-paramik, ^with the right vocab and the right words used the imagery shined out the most in paramiks case and i was really feeling the amount of detail put into it... overall i liked both verses completely they were both great and it looks like you put effort into them but in the end im gonna vote Verbal Abuse...for a more emotional piece... good luck peace
__________________
The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line "I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus |
||||
|
|
|
01-11-05, 09:32 PM
|
#13
|
||||
|
Knock out kings fur life
|
IP: C636 71EE
daaaaaam I think this was a good topical from both parties. But I have to go with Verbal he just made me see it clearer even tho i do mine as poetry lmao but I liked it how he describe it to me and showed me in his writing as if I was their myself. But overall this is how I viewed it.
88/100 vt verbal |
||||
|
|
|
01-11-05, 10:06 PM
|
#14
|
|||
|
As Seen On T.V.
|
IP: 5867 FD83
thanks for the honest feedack everyone. uppin.
__________________
quote your own damn lyrics...
|
|||
|
|
|
01-11-05, 10:12 PM
|
#15
|
|||||
|
A Reflection Of The Past
|
IP: ABE5 5A5C
word this was honestly a dope battle,
paramik your structure and format in this was nice and clean,you had a decent take to the topic,and the strory line wasn't bad at all...even tho i felt you could of did a little more with the topic,the imagery was ok,the emotion was decent also.... verbal abuse,dude this was illness defined,i was loving the take and storyline u displayed to this topic,the imagery was vivid and painted a picture in my mind as i read,the emotion was quite decent,i loved the opener and how you started things off with emotion,the delivery was decent...nice use of vocab also....you get this win v/verbal abuse
__________________
Crhyme Sindicate
|
|||||
|
|
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
