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Old 02-07-04, 07:23 PM   #1
IllConceptz
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This what happens...

IP: 6884 8416

My sanctum is freedom, like bein able to pack a gun,
But I dont need them, cause they lack the fun,
You can't aim, and you really seem to wack ta run,
Your all the same, Thats why Im goin platinum,
A battle with me leaves the area a mighty venue,
Going somewhere in life is what I'm slightly into,
I continue my wonderful spree of laceratin herbs,
Get blown backwards by my fascinatin words,
To the head you repeatedly recieve massive blows,
My words make more sense then 'passive' throws,
Your deprived of lively fluids like too drain a pimple,
You'll get pulverized in a battle plain and simple,
You'd be too scared to speak aloud, even if you remembered~this,
I take everything you got, and your left like dismemberd~fish,
I never miss, and my punches could cause brain trama,
Like you and your cousin came from the same mama,

Damn Kids...
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<center>...The Illest Conceptz...</center>
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Old 02-07-04, 10:25 PM   #2
IllConceptz
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IP: E94E 3FE1

Feedback??????????????????????????????????????????
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Old 02-07-04, 10:30 PM   #3
cameronj86
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well, it wasn't quite a battle verse because it didn't have much punches, but it seemed more directed towards someone that anything else...

Best thing about it: Well......... it rhymed...., lol, j/k

You'll get pulverized in a battle plain and simple,
^I think this was your best line, but you didn't follow it up, it had simplicity, but got the point across.

It was alright overall, mostly a brag-fest (Note: If you are gonna brag be more outlandish and use more metaphors and similies, that fish line DIDN'T CUT IT)
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