RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 07-06-02, 05:12 PM   #1
King O
BANNED
 
King O's Avatar
 
Posts: 30
Joined: Jun 2002
From: UK, Sheffield
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
My Crazy day - Spur o the moment - Peep please

IP: 072B 152E

im out buying my groceries like every other week
a woman checkin me out old enough 2 be an antique
checkin out me and my muscular physique,
aint gettin much at the mo im havin a ladies leak,

so i decide go over and greet her with a kiss
she sez pardon me whilst i reminis,
u remind me o my husband, he used 2 beat me wit his fists
then he broke off our marrige, he ran off wit my sis,

i startin 2 get a bit freaked so i start backin away
she notices my moves and asks me 2 stay,
i darent say no she forearms like cassius clay
honest these tings dont happen every day,
its just like somethin outa a frekin puppet play,

im thinkin o runnin im sayin 2 myself go on
but as she rubs my leg along comes Mr erection
she notices my boner aimin in her direction
and she sez im up for a bed fight like Viet Nam

she takes me in the store room and i wont say wot she did
but as i went down on my kness i got a putrid smell of squid,
now im over here, i ran off 2 madrid
but no doubt she be searchin using the referance grid!
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-02, 08:33 AM   #2
RhetoriX
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: C302 0350

This is quite a strange flow, it was a basic story line but the wordplay was something different... The rhyme scheme was quite simple, used a simple form, multies were used which were good to see, it was smooth... The vocab was lacced, nothing that really caught me eye... I think ya need to work on your ideas, this werent even funny in my opinion, im hoping you were trying to be... This was very basic, ya need to structure your flow on some complexity, keep spitting and elevating, and think with your mind, not with the keys...

Peez...
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:02 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.