my secound time just give me some pointers

i live my life a day at a time i smoke dimes and get into crimes i try to make the illest rhymes iread the L.A. and New York Times im maken beats wen i get older i hope i sell seats i growed up on the ROC Streets i try to get girls under te sheets i gamble im tryin to unscramble my life i carry a pocket knife or a switch blade tryin to get paid for wat i like to do thats rappin and rollin wit my crew wejust run through rockland hopefully crowds will gve me big hand for my raps then im tryinbuy cherry apple or blueberry blunt raps this is my life style hopefully my life will end just like 8 mile

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it was ok....i can see your gettin better. just stay away from the childish ish but its good really.....deep.. 8/10

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U kno who i be.....Who-I-Be?

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A LIFE OF CHRYME

^PEI^ wow stop riding rydas dick lol
i give it a 5/10.. want a tip? look at my rhymes and be just like me lol

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Hey not bad RYDA it was a good rap 6/10

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it was aiight not the best, like Mystic Chaos said work on structure.... 3.5/10.

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yeh you need structure work like something terrible.........def work on that...then work on vocab......and add like similies, metaphors and ish too....they help......and when you fix your structure....try to keep the lines even.........flow was iffy.....work on multi's.......go to tutorials.......or just take a peek and feed on other peeps' open mics to see how they do ish........but keep at it......practice as much as you can.....and eventually you'll get the hang of it........

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good not bad little more structure but not bad 4/10