Usually with children, their parents raise them and pass their values, beliefs, ideals, opinions, behaviour etc onto them. The child's personality is then made up of a combination of nature, nurture, and exposure... probably in a 1:1:1 ratio.

Parents should be a large part of your life, and then when you get older the adult-child relationship should change to an adult-adult relationship. Love should be experienced in childhood and adulthood between children and parents. Many walks of life should be experienced primarily in that relationship.

Thats how things usually happen.

But I was thinking about this the other day... What about me? I wasnt very close to my parents, so my personality is missing the nurture part. For me, values, ideals, opinions, behaviour etc were created from just nature and exposure. So the innate traits I have in my DNA combined with everything I have been exposed to is what makes me me. Which draws me to conclude that I am missing an integral part of my being, and have a deficient personality.

I dont quite know what this actually means for me... But I have noticed that I think differently and behave differently to most people, and I find it hard to trust people in general. Since two thirds of my input was exposure, my sense of humor and thought processes and shit matured quite early... But without parental guidance and input, a lot of my life skills (communication, morality, priorities, social skills) are underdeveloped or abnormal.

so wtf are people like me supposed to do about what we missed out on and shit? -_-

Its pretty fucked.

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Be careful though.. Thinking as though theres something wrong with you can often lead to being used as an excuse for short commings.

Besides bro.. I got parents and I'm nothing like them...
Most of what I know I learnt from the people I hang around.. And I wouldnt wanna be any other way......

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any evidence to support a 1:1 ratio?


I've had discussions in some biology lectures in college about percentages of nature vs. nurture. No one could agree. But, I personally feel that because humans are animals as well, and share 99% of our genome with chimps, we're probably controlled by more than 50% genetics.

In fact, I say 60/40 nature to nurture.

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Nos: Yeah I feel ya... I dont really use it as an excuse. I can easily admit my flaws.

Q: Well yeah I dont really know the ratio... But I said probably because I wasnt sure. I split nurture into nurture and exposure so the ratio is probably better as 3 nature : 1 nurture : 2 exposure or something like that. I dont know -_-

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wow, that's pretty much exact how i grew up, except i had 2 brothers and sister to make my development phase a real pain in the ass. but the way i see, its not like you lack in that area, or its a setback you missed out on the nurture part, because if you think about it, and you did get that attention, then maybe you wouldnt've turned out the way you are now....could be something better, could be alot worse....i don't yearn, or let myself be held back of a little ideal that could've heightened my social skills etc...cause i'm totally cool with how i turned out; i'm really athletic, independant, determined, strong willed

but it is a pretty thought provoking topic to think about

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Yeah word... I get what you're saying. But sometimes I just cant help but wonder what it would have been like to have a more loving relationship with my parents.

And I had 4 brothers -_- lol.

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yeah, it was shitty..i had two older bros, and a younger sis, so i got kinda ripped off for attention

yeah, whenever i think about what it would've been like if i did too, can't help but to think if i'd be anywhere close to what i'm doing right now...its weird, because i sort of want it badly, but a little scared knowing what my situation would be.

kind of like knowing your future....you know what to prepare for, but will you make all the right decisions to lead you up until the point you saw

the ambiguity is numbing, haha

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