-jus introducin myself in poetix-

In my mindz eye
I'm tha apple pie
you just tha fly
anutha parasite
g'head take a bite
that's yer invite
silly maggot
you can't take it
go on N fake it
cuz game recognize game
you recognized for bein lame
know you're guilty so you plead insane
N that'z tru too
fucken GLAD I'm notchoo
can't imagine that nasty ass shoe
In fact I think it'z time you flew
shoo fly don't bother me
steady tryin ta take my place constantly
I guess you haven't heard that there's no stoppin me

Attached Images

tqdoobiedoll.gif (52.0 KB, 20 views)

Aight first of all welcome to RB!!!

Nice lil poem you did here, a lil lacking in energy but still some good emotion in there!!!

Drop some feedback on this poem i did ... but remember it a serious poem an i dont want people sayin stuff like nice wordplay an good flow ... its there for people to try an give me advice if ya get what i mean ..

heres the link > Drowning in my own tears

I read that on tha other thread but I can't figure this out! -L- I'm tryin gimme a minute N thenx fer tha feedback

p.s drownin in my own tearz it TITE AS FUCK

The rhyme shceme was good, i haven't really seen the line rhyme's in a while, there was a definite flow in this piece, and it was good, keep it up
peace

__________________
We are the music makers,
and we are the dreamers of dreams.

^^^^^^^Impressive for yo 1st drop am suprised....ma

Nice shit Nice contend Flow wus sick

Poeticness felt Nice

U peeped mine

SIN OF A MAN poetry section

AND

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=63738

^^^MY OPEN MIC RAP OR REAP

__________________