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05-05-08, 10:19 PM | #1 | ||||||
Whys That?
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Cold Hearted
IP: 2998 9024
This track was made after a long night tossing it up. Got the beat at 4am, wrote recorded and mixed the track by just after 7.
http://www.myspace.com/whatspeace Links coming soon All feedback appreciatted and returned. |
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05-06-08, 12:54 AM | #2 | |||||
Out-Spoken
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IP: F3B3 DC53
pretty good shit...i've gotta be honest....i saw you were from new zealand and not very excited about it because im just not a fan of accents and rap...but...i honestly didn't even really notice an accent...i mean..not enough for it to bother me..but...that doesn't matter.
lyrically, i thought you were pretty good....I really felt like a lot of times you sacraficed more appropriate wording....in order to keep your flow on point...im not going to go in specific details about THAT here...even though this is where you would most likely appreciate it...but if you want to pursue the explanations than just PM me....anyways...your flow was great...your multies worked well...the hook was pretty dope....and where you shined....is your transitions....you transfer from verse to hook or from hook to verse better than 99% of the people i've listened to on rv... areas you could improve...wording...that's about it...there are other intangibles you could brushe up on...but...those are intangibles anyways...they will either come to you..or they won't....and I believe they will. over all pretty good..like I said.. i will break this down bar for bar when i have a little more time...right now it's time to bbq and celebrate cinco de mayo the way it was meant to be celebrated.. return the feed bruh...and keep reppin c.s. like you did on this track http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=245960
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Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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05-06-08, 02:40 AM | #3 | |||||
~SAINT SINNER~
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IP: BBD2 73D8
rough track got sizzle, i was gettin' my head nod on. yeah boy...
...okay, the beat was hard. nice choice on the instrumental. it reminded me of some older em type shit. it was angry...menacing...dangerous...which your lyrics matched properly. you were convincing as far as upholding the threatening facade that you were presenting us with. your lyrics were pretty nice. your flow was damn near flawless, very sharp bruh. just like r-ev mentioned above, your transition between verse/hook and hook/verse was excellent...nicely done, smooth indeed. when you decided to fully rock your multies, you did so effectively. overall, i dig the song fam. you should be proud of your piece (especially since it was all done from scratch in about 3 hours), so circulate that shit. alot of kids on this site work on tracks 38 times longer than you did and still dont come near 1/10th as clean you did. i'd slap that track in my whip, no doubt about it. viva la crhyme...got sizzles got sizzle. s.v.
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Quote:
QUESTION: Is it even possible to improve upon perfection??? ANSWER: CRHYME SINDICATE "I remember this one time I thought I was wrong........but I was mistaken." -Unknown R.I.P. Jonathan "ONE MAN BAND/TERUMOTO" Nigro. Goodbye brother. God bless the dead. One love. |
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05-06-08, 11:42 AM | #4 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 1D6B F977
you ya flow is nice throughout the entire track but the way you started the second verse was fiya. the beat is perfect for this type of tracks the only thing i would have to say wasnt perfect was your lyrics but i would never comment on anothers lyrical usage because its what makes them the MC they are. im typing while the track switched to another track of yours so one thing i gotta comment on again is you flow and delivery is so "appropriate" no matter what beat your on, especially ya delivery on hooks. but yea this is honestly a nice track. damn this shit switched to another song. ya flow is flawless on ya hooks. lol anyway good track man keep it up, you know that means you do the hook on the collab right
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C.S. The Definition of a Vet...
Phase 1 Topical Co-Captain
Phase 1 Site Battle Winner by knockout ...Is to have Served Your Faction
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05-06-08, 06:45 PM | #5 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 8D7D DD9D
ya, this was a cool track man, i think you brought a good tone to match with the beat, good stuff man...
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05-07-08, 05:23 AM | #6 | ||||||
Addicted
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IP: EEE4 3BF8
they've already hit it on the head..first your vocal tone and what you were talking about went with the beat, i was feeling the song i didnt notice your accent really at all which is good.
you did transfer from your verse into the hook very nicely, i would just say work on extending your vocabulary,and pernounce some of your words a little better in the first verse...overall i would bump this and thats really rare coming from me..
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...THE BADASSES ARE BACK...
_C.RHYME S.INDICATE_ "RAPVERSE'S ORIGINAL LEGACY OF EXCELLENCE" "the loudest one in the room is the weakest"- frank lucas.. |
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05-07-08, 05:37 AM | #7 | ||||||
Addicted
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IP: EEE4 3BF8
i just peeped your other shit to i would bump that too not bad at all..makes me want to find new places to look for underground.
__________________
...THE BADASSES ARE BACK...
_C.RHYME S.INDICATE_ "RAPVERSE'S ORIGINAL LEGACY OF EXCELLENCE" "the loudest one in the room is the weakest"- frank lucas.. |
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05-07-08, 05:00 PM | #8 | ||||
Hell yeah
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IP: 6CAD B71F
First time listening to you, impressed man, like the lyrics and the flow is on point, hook is pretty decent, quality is so so but still good. overall this is a great track nice drop man
8.5/10 RTF on Born In The City |
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05-12-08, 06:02 PM | #9 | ||||||
Whys That?
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IP: 2998 9024
Thanks for the feed, its much appreciatted. Ill RTF soon.
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08-11-08, 11:48 AM | #10 | |||||
~SAINT SINNER~
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IP: 61C0 7C7E
^^^bumpin' for my muthafuckin' crhymie...
...the supe
__________________
Quote:
QUESTION: Is it even possible to improve upon perfection??? ANSWER: CRHYME SINDICATE "I remember this one time I thought I was wrong........but I was mistaken." -Unknown R.I.P. Jonathan "ONE MAN BAND/TERUMOTO" Nigro. Goodbye brother. God bless the dead. One love. |
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