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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-05-05, 11:14 PM
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#1
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A Reflection Of The Past
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flow intelligent vs wicked clown
IP: 28AD 5545
Check Ins Must Be In By Friday Or Your Topic Wont Be Given...
If Check Ins Are In Then You Will Be Given A topic To Write About... Poems Then Must Be In By Sunday And Voting Will Be Over On Tuesday... Topic: Writing on the Wall
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Crhyme Sindicate
Last edited by Lyric : 01-06-05 at 06:29 PM. |
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01-06-05, 12:31 AM
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#2
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Only the Illist
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IP: 1AF0 6ADD
checkin in.......
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01-06-05, 12:33 AM
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#3
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The Epitome Of Greatness
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IP: 0825 899A
checkity checkity checkity checkity checkity checkity
oh yea check  good luck
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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion  |
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01-06-05, 09:31 PM
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#4
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The Epitome Of Greatness
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IP: 0825 899A
I can see the writing's on the wall, And i feel the rhythm Majestic swirling words clearly, i'm slowly falling in them Writing's far enough to cross the globe in a evening They go on and on for no reason, constantly fleeing No message is depicted, the scribbling is incoherent The wall is the abode.... markings made by spirits Do you fear it ? The words are not meant to cause pain I place my hand on the wall, and at once down falls rain But this rain is red, blood from the man who wrote it Every inch of his subtle life is wrote down and quoted From the beginning of his life, to the day he died Every occurence of his past, was wrote in cries The further i read, the more distanced the words seemed And some of the things that happened, i couldnt believe At 21, on his birthday his father was brutally slain A day later his mother was dead, thats truthfully pain How could he refrain, from killing himself right then He had to finish his story, no matter how frightened How frightened he was or how frightened he would become He could'nt leave this world, until his writings were done He had to choose a spot, he needed to find a tablet Were he could write his life away, and let the wall have it The wall he chose, was the most beautiful wall there was It was heavens gate white, without a trace of dust He wrote his life away, so others could read his story And when i read this wall, I felt like he wrote it for me Who would have guessed a man that once lived Would know about everything in my life that i did We had the same birthday, we had the same strife We had the same parents, but two different lifes Maybe i'm just crazy, and i am reading this wrong How could he know me, when 50 years he's been gone I'm the ghost of this man, and im fighting for you all Dont cry, realize, those are my writings on the wall
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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion Last edited by FlOw InTeLLiGeNt : 01-06-05 at 09:31 PM. Reason: had to center it |
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01-07-05, 09:54 AM
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#5
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Only the Illist
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IP: 1AF0 6ADD
1964 The writing on the wall, the jumbled mess of words destroys my inner brian, eating away at the very fiber of my soul one mans torture written out acrossed the cement walls of his cell for all to see, what was he immagining when he wrote "Sleep daddy, sleep daddy, sleep forever no more" upon the corner of the floor where he died the night before this young man so old and hungrey for the world who cast him aside like yesterdays garbage played out for everyone his own metaphorical armegedon upon these very walls falling apart as i read, the immages that enter my mind seem to be swalowing me whole, taking away my verry innocence just by reading on, the words i see are horrible accounts of the daily "life" of the so called madman from 39th street, whos brutial murders were the hottest news of 1964 in town of maulberry creek, here he tells of each and every sinister account, writtin in gastley detail upon the now seamingly fleshy walls of the inner most part of the state prison where he spent the last 62 years of his life in solitude shuned by the world and forced to sit and fester over his doings in hopes that one day he will be forgiven and be set free, maybe not in body but in spirit, given the oprotunity to stand before god himself and repent for his horrid deeds, and be alowed to walk amongst those he hurt in heaven, alowed to talk to them and say he was sorry for what he had done, but whos to say that this will ever happen for inmate 15993, one can only sit back and read another tale the wall has to offer and slip into fantasy hoping, praying for the man who lost it all one summer night in 1964 |
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01-07-05, 09:56 AM
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#6
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Only the Illist
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IP: 1AF0 6ADD
^^^^ non rhyming, story telling poem... if u dont understand it dont vote
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01-07-05, 08:55 PM
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#7
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Only the Illist
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IP: 1AF0 6ADD
damn... vote it up people.................................
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01-07-05, 11:44 PM
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#8
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 0825 899A
Aii This Is How I feel
Flow Intelligent Opening: I was loving your opening Usually Long Poems like your make me want to stop reading rite in the middle of the poem but you came with a good hook Which really Set off the poem Body And Structure: Im Loving Some bars I would like to tell you which one but that would be jus rewtiting the poem lol But n e ways I like the way you came with some multi's in your poem which is very impressive (atleast to me) um .........Th eonly Thing i can Say Bout the Body And the structure is that Basic Typing Like This<< is kinda ugly Italasize it sometimes make it more Fancy if you know what i mean Ending: Your ending Was great i wasnt expecting That You was gonna say The dude spirit lived in you i thought you was gonna say something like " He still lives at this time Painting On the walls ....ETC" So I was def Surprised by your ending Mayne Keep Up the good work. 9.5/10 Wicked Clown Opening: Ive never Known anyone on this site actually Bold enough To Type a Non Writing Poem So that Really Surprised me it shows that your are really a Good and true Poet but still The Beggining Was not very Hook Shall I say But Still it was good enough for me to keep On reading. Body And Structure: Your total Overall Storyline Was good I Like some Pionts of the poem But not all Points of the poem......some parts were like a turbo Boost and thatz what kept me reading The poem Throughout the whole poem......Um I see where you were goin with the creative color Thing To Make your Poem really "Kick Off" But Red hurts my eyes I dunno Bout anyone else But it hurts Mines But still I Give you that credit. Ending: Your ending was Very Predictable i Mean You had A Good story line it was great but it was very unoriginal and very Predictable. Your Datings in your story Line Is Really Good I Like that Ppl DonT go deep into Poetry Like you do but Still I Dont Think That It was you I Think It Was your Topic but Personally I Think that you Will Go somewhere with Poetry one day If you jus keep up the good work. 8/10 My overall vote: Flow intellgent Hit my poetry battle up Guys Peace |
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01-08-05, 01:58 AM
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#9
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STROBE's Favorite Rapper
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IP: 5671 DBDD
ok both had very good imagery and ive taken a long time to vote because ive read them both many times in order so that i could give a fair vote wicked you had a good drop and good topic but it was more basic in image what you said was what it was while flow was more creative what he said meant so much more and that really made his piece stronger then yours here.he talked about such deep profound meaning while you stuck basically to the story which was very good but in poetry i tend to go with creativity so while i enjoyed both poems i enjoyed flows a little more due to that .please both of you return honest votes on mine when ac drops good drop to you both.
vote-flow intelliegent
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Overall Rapverse Record Including Leagues 94-29
R.I.P RAPVERSE
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01-13-05, 11:23 AM
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#10
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Da KiNg Of PwNaGe
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IP: 25E4 9760
Flow Intelligent Wins
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