my first ever song so give me feedback
i kno song sucks but give it to me straight


pce,

fuck drugs>>>>> http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pag...m?bandID=467016



links :

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=233886

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3070313

Your voice makes me giggle.

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Listenin...

aight..yo..basically u gota work on everything here...heres how to do this..:

Flow: work on flow by studying a comprised group of emcees you respect the most in the game, study their flows and try counjour a unique flow thatl use aspects of ya choiced groups flow..

Delivery: Same as flow, study artists with delivery's youre feeling and try emulate them all in one delivery..if you can..obviously dnt choose like freeway and lil wayne it wudnt mix..

Lyrics: They were ok, they sound like youre a text head jumpin into audio..its mad diff on the audio scene you gota make it flow and ride to the beat..again lsiten to cats..adjust..

Emotion: Thisll come as confidence gets up...right now its monotonous..and very one-levelled...confidence rises..fluctuation occurs and your emotion is conveyed to the audience..

How To Improve Other ways:

These arent every way but the way I did it;

- Make tracks, like this and drop on websites like these...every peice of constructive feedback you get...copy and paste it in your word document and save it...for your next track read that over try fix it...

- Itll never happen straight away..if sum1 says fix ya flow by doing this......blah blah blah...dnt get mad cos next joint its not perfect..it takes months/years of polishing..

- Dont get cocky..ive made this mistake before around ya level when i first started...now im more polished...but still dnt be so cocky that you look like a fool..

- Get that thrive to succeed...

Hope shit helped..1

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....suck a dick faggot.....

this is the songs forum, not the "be a fuckin' idiot" forum. Don't got anything good to say don't post bs feed when people are being serious and tryin' to get feedback.

anyways, to song. like the When I'm gone beat.

First thing I notice, quality. and that mixed with your vocals being pretty low, made it real hard to listen, nah mean? but iunno your flow, seems like you paid no attention to the beat and just were reading off your lyrics. TRry writing to the beat, so you can flow better. for starters, just try getting your rhymin' words to land on the snare.

but shit I gotta go, i'll come back to leave better feed. but don't give up and let idiots like the one above say shit to make you stop. IF you want it bad, don't let them put you down, keep tryin' and you'll get better. pc

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I didn't come in here sayin' "yo mother fucker, you suck, god damn! quit rapping!" I didn't say shit about his skill in rapping so hop off my nuts.

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That's probably the prob Kirk.

If you need me to mix your stuff let me know.

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thxz people imma fix shit up imma be good one day like u guys takes time though

uppin people i need feedback so i kno how to get better and thanks everyone for the help ill try to do that ...

uhh you're the one who randomly came into his thread talkin' shit to him. and I need to hop off someone's nuts? think again jackass.

yo JC, holla on MSN, if you need any help with shit. Tell Kool-Col-b to give you my e-mail, i'm too lazy to drop it lol

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ok thxz man......^^^^^^^ u guys r awesome for helping a man trying to get better

omg.... it was a good try i geuss.......keep on keepin on

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southbeachmiamiho

You need to get your shit straight, man. I don't got nothin' against JC. I said what I thought about it in his thread in LL, broseph. Chill out, you sensitive teddy bear.

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you remind me of me when I first started rapping..hell anyone when they first started rapping man.......keep it up..u'll get it sooner or later

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ADD ME LETS MAKE SOMETHING

TheMyspace

aight... werk on yo flow, like, make it go 2 tha beat better. ummm, ur rappin pritty quietly, u should like, yell in that muthaphukka. lyrics were pritty simple, buts thats normal. n u kinda messed up, like i just heard tha part where ur like "people say they can quit whenever they... feel" like u messed up when u were spozed 2 say "feel", so if u do that, dont just leave it like that, u should re-record that part 2 make it sound better. nom sizlaxin? werd

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R.I.P. EAZY-E