Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
12-18-05, 08:15 AM | #1 | |||||||
New to RV
|
<{[- A Tree's Journey -]}>
IP: 0B77 CF88
Mended, Mistreated an Crafted
Into a rotten Smelly casket Stolen from Home... Home... Crowded with Warmth..Warmth that enhabits the Aroma of the air Dew drips...As the sun embraces it's surface as it operates as a slight furnace that doesn't burn...But brightens a Wood's furnish Stolen from home..... Now brought to the fork in the road... Stolen from Home... Mutated into either a box... with many mournful horrids with life's victims in storage Amidst that painful emotion,Enormous... A rusty palace, for a motionless resident.... Where his past would flourish Or Stolen from Home... Mutated into a weak surface bendable, flammable, crumbled.... weak...but transformed into a powerful tool... Into a repository of powerful letters That form a powerful word... That forms a powerful sentence... Started weakened, but used by a tip of a pen to be transformed into a Prepotent Creature With the adjectives of a prepotent sentence... and the verbs of a prepotent Word and the blueprint of a prepotent letter Started weakened...But ended as a Potent document... A potent proof...A potent showcase of the potency of a paper.... |
|||||||
12-19-05, 11:22 AM | #2 | |||||||
New to RV
|
IP: 8069 E555
UppN sleeperz....
|
|||||||
12-20-05, 05:23 AM | #3 | |||||||
New to RV
|
IP: 0B77 CF88
uppin assholes................
__________________
{^[-<Rememba Allah>-]^}{^[-<Rememba Allah>-]^}{^[-<Rememba Allah>-]^}
"Atlas Walkin Thru Tha Projects With Tha Hood On My Shoulders"-Immortal Technique |
|||||||
12-26-05, 01:12 PM | #4 | |||
1926
|
IP: 3240 794D
Wow man, surprisingly a very well done piece. Usually I expect more underdeveloped for newer heads around Rv.
This piece was filled with just beautiful descriptions. You desided to utalize free verse structure which, I dont particularly like, but you pulled off very nice. You had a little scattered rhyme scheme that traced itself within the stanza's throughout the piece which I really like. It didn't make your words a slave to rhyme which in the end make the piece sound very real rather then 'Humpty Dumpty' like. Nice job man, keep up the good work. |
|||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|