Checkin in.. Idk how i'm going to edit in links though...

http://img16.imageshack.us/my.php?image=heavenu.jpg

I can't see, because I'm not one with reality
And what I be? Is to you just a mere fallacy
But it's what I'd rather be, because here? I'm free
In a zone in which I’ve atoned, so I can just be me
But indeed I struggle with my passage, but it's faith I'm showing
Because the pain is just lame, and can't prevent where I'm going

"Let's start him on a morphine drip, inform the family."

As the pain drifts, my lungs are swift to lose their power
So at this stage I’m enraged, do they think I'm a coward?
I'm truly empowered, because this tunnel I'm in has an end
So with euphoria I tred, knowing I'm meeting friends
Thoughts bend with these conceptions of reality my senses can feel
cuz my perception ain't defective, my mind's consensus is real
Depends on ya deal, and how you turn from livid and reform
& theres no time to grow frigid....
... when the norm is transformed to warm
Miracles performed, as you enter into a new conscience
That science will inform that you've conformed to some nonesence
But that causes laughter right? Cuz its on that subject I frowned
Because the after life being real yields faith
... not the other way around
So when the sounds cease to exist, and thoughts are just conceptions
It's easier for me to dream, and say the images arn't just deceptions
But in sections I see all, so this isn't an infection
And my body isn't defective.. I’m just moving on to perfection

"Hes flat lined, call the time of death doctor."

check.

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=249241

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=249238

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Let ME fiiiinnd ooout

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Let ME fiiiinnd ooout

dope battle boys
Alpha man that was sick....

theres no time to grow frigid....
... when the norm is transformed to warm

I liked that line the most, flowed and ryhmed well, really liked your use of vocab added alot to your verse.


Civil, wasn't sure what to expect from you I never saw you topical, but that was dope......It was sad man, but that was the feeling, it wasn't as complex but was consise, I liked it a lot

Now I’m living in a foster home. And all the love and fears combined
Because No one has any idea what that kind of loss, does to a fierce mind.
Cheers Why? I'm all alone in this place, everything cold will be mild
And I’m no longer the only child, feels like the only guide is fate

those were dope




this was a sick battle, really close but ima give it to Civil, just think he was able to come across more effectivly, all though alphas was dope too.

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When I be selling grams I’m slinging bombs like Uncle Sam


Myspace

It's ok to make money, Legit or illegal...
But it's treason when you turn your back on your people.

Alpha - It was pretty decent. I was thinking it was an improvement from my expectations in a way, but in another way it wasn't. I was expecting a bit more, not as in talent or skill, but as in depth of the piece. I was kind of like, lost. What happened to make him hospitalized, who were his loved ones, why did he feel that way, so on and so forth. You did, in fact, have some nice word choice and vocab. I was suprised by that, lol that was the last thing I expected from this league (no offense to anyone). You had some nice end rhyming and I see mad potential behind your writing... I think I said this last week but you remind me of me when I first started out writing, dope shit dude.. keep writing.. Just keep in mind what I said about the whole depth of your piece, keep it going and inform your readers whats going on...

Civil - Right off the bat, this is sick. I like it a lot and I've only gotten to the exact words "Thoughts". Dope shit so far... Well shit son. You fucked up the good vibe. I just finished this shit, I mean it wasn't bad but it ruined the whole 'this is dope as fuck' type deal I had going. You had some deep context, but the fucking rhyming fucked me up. I was so focused on trying to stay with it that I had to re-read a few lines twice, sometimes three times just to say it right because it didn't sound right in my head. To me, they seemed forced entirely too much, you should've sat and chilled for a while after writing the first stanza, because it was dope... When you feel that you're forcing shit, you ARE. Don't think, oh, this sounds good because I fucked with it for 3 hours.. Hell no, more than likely if it didn't sound good the first time it wasn't good to begin with. Anyhow, I still liked your piece a lot, but I was hoping for your whole piece to be as good as the begining. I'm disappointed in your mu'fucker.

v/Civil.

Dope shit for showing both

Considering this is my first topical tourny ever, I'd say i'm getting better.

I think you told that before on RB Jonathan, or that was someone else haha.

its a league

Jon

ok this was a decent battle I'm gonna do a cat break down on this
flow: civil
imagry: civil
emotion: alpha
metaphors: civil
overall: civil

overall civil had a more polished verse doper all around but it was a good read from both props just loved the smoothness of one verse over the other

uppin.
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Let ME fiiiinnd ooout

Alphabetized- didn't know you was into topicals, glad to see you expanding your skills fams. I thought the flow had its smoothness in parts. and the story itself, i felt was thought out very deeply, not even the storyline, you sort of brought some clearity to it in the beginning and I could tell what was ahead. but it was that pure intellectual thought of the second verse that really held the dopeness. i liked the after life from faith line too. deep

vs

Civil.- to me, the picture had no point to the piece whatsoever.. but what you labeled as the beginning was dope man. the whole scene played out sick. I can tell your somebody i'm going to have to watch out for.. just that imagery that i know you can take up with the right wording and rhymescheme, its dangerous. and the thoughts about it.. just a bombardment of unstable emotions. It was a pretty crazy drop, and a nice read. I'd like to see you twist a topic up more in future weeks.


shit i consider both yall threats. this is one league i aint gon sleep in.
v/Civil
keep dropping dope

word dude, been working on it.

good verse civil

up over closed.

hmm

I'm truly empowered, because this tunnel I'm in has an end
So with euphoria I tred, knowing I'm meeting friends
Thoughts bend with these conceptions of reality my senses can feel
cuz my perception ain't defective, my mind's consensus is real
Depends on ya deal, and how you turn from livid and reform
& theres no time to grow frigid....
... when the norm is transformed to warm
Miracles performed, as you enter into a new conscience
That science will inform that you've conformed to some nonesence



those were my favorite lines from Alpha


Vivid Scenes, committed at heart, but feels like no one is forgiven me.
My tolerance for everything that hurts, is caused by living dreams
And exquisitely everything I’ve done has been hidden beneath,
...The thought that everything that’s been given to me can be taken astray
Seriously Lord, The two people I loved. You've Taken Away.
My mind is stuck, how can I escape that day, you took both my parents
It couldn't have been worse timing, my dad had finally proposed marriage
Now I’m living in a foster home. And all the love and fears combined
Because No one has any idea what that kind of loss, does to a fierce mind.


that was my favorite from Civil


here's how i feel about this battle

Alpha: He came with something very direct, his lyrical content was much better than Civil. He knows how to write poetry.

but, after reading about of them, i felt more emotion, and better story told by Civil

Civil's story was detialed enough, read smoothly, and also directed the emtional content it needed to make in order to win this match

i really liked Civil's, and i also enjoyed Alpha's

so props to both

but my vote: Civil

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