Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
05-04-06, 10:32 AM | #1 | |||
WhoAreYou?
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Garden of Eden (current topical battle)
IP: A181 D033
Garden of Eden My heart beats at a greater pace, frustration makes me screw my face I'm in a haste to manipulate this sequence into its place I pride myself as an ace at my trade, maybe the ace of spades And this track i made could be the key to seein this face get paid Indeed .... I'm necessarily in a solitary environment Free time for only myself, no one else, there's no time for them Additionally this fact was once briefly mentioned to me If i so much as bring a friend up in here, even unintentionally Productions will cease, my glorious priveledges would be stripped If I violate the rules, the boss will exacerbate and flip (i receive a phone call) Hey how are you i haven't heard from you in a very long time I'm just producing away at another potential hit ... you still fine? You sound like you wanted to do something I'm kinda busy Wow i never knew you felt that way, you must really miss me Where am i? I'm at the studio in east croydon where i work Do a google search, haha oh for real speak of these perks Ah hah you're dope for real, alright im gonna direct you to the place It looks really deserted but you'll have look beyond it's face It has the dopest set up inside, this building's unique And when you reach and try come in make sure you wipe your feet... Instead of sitting sequencing drums, i find myself twiddling my thumbs I've seriously abused the owner's trust, through lust what have i become? However i cannot hide the fact i endeavour to see how events turn Introduce her to my world, who know's what wonders she'll learn? Upon the blessing of her prescense, i inform her of my deception However my sincere attempt at explanation hits interception The owner stands at the door, withdraws and calls me to follow I've abused his trust in my follwing his rules, I feel hollow Human condition stimulated my mind's hunger, breakin the rule he set.... My warmth and security of the studio are gone, I lost because i fed so what's good.... |
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05-04-06, 11:58 AM | #2 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: BF9E D00A
pretty dope twist on that story here... I most def fucks with it... I like the flow in this the most but nothing stands out quite as much as your selection of words... great vocab in this and just about everything I've ever read from you... keep doing what you do...
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\....../ \..../ \../ A.I. Spilled Inc. |
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05-04-06, 03:27 PM | #3 | |||
WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
link 1: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=227629
link 2: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=227453 Last edited by ...D.P... : 05-04-06 at 03:38 PM. |
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05-05-06, 12:18 PM | #4 | |||
WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
thanks for the feedback
uppin this piece |
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05-07-06, 04:14 PM | #6 | ||||
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IP: 5B30 0354
This was a pretty good drop..you had nice flow..it really made the reader have an easy time reading it .. your wordplay and vocab was also very good ..and so was your feeling and emotions ..overall this was a pretty decent drop felt you could have put alittle more into into it but it was overall a very good drop..keep it up.
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The Competition
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05-08-06, 08:10 AM | #7 | ||||
Better than you..
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IP: 96E7 4CA6
Man, this was alright. I just can't see anybody being overly interested in this content like it's not some dope shit i'd wanna be hearing over my ear phones. I dunno what ur intentions are with hip hop you may only do this for a hobbie but i wouldn't hear a good emcee spit this kinda material. Not even trying to be critical but you should think what u find dope in what other emcees say and what people generally are interested in hearing and do raps about that sorta shit if u want someone to be impressed. Don't try to say it was a topical coz man i've read dope topicals and shit but i'm sorry i wasted my time on your shit.
No Hate, just elevate bro.
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..ADLIB..
Spit it from the heart, spit a thousand darts, split ya head apart…
Emcees depart, like rubin carter my hurricane left u scarred… Like a spiked bat grammatical bar, like a wonderland drug… Tumble - ing like a flagon of rum and 2 blunts, like the funk baby… |
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05-08-06, 11:06 AM | #8 | |||
WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
however you missed the point of this piece
it was for a text topical battle against dervla so that makes your statement redundant ask questions before you assume ~peace~ |
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05-08-06, 11:07 AM | #9 | |||
WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
however you missed the point of this piece
it was for a text topical battle against dervla so that makes your statement redundant ask questions before you assume fyi change your title cos you ain't better at....all ~peace~ |
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05-09-06, 04:37 AM | #10 | ||||
Better than you..
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IP: 97C8 A4E6
read my last line in the paragraph. what's it say????... yeh... that' right you half wit dick head.
Plus if it's for a topical battle why is it in here stupid fuck? man you think people wanna see your toy shit in every fucking thread...?
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..ADLIB..
Spit it from the heart, spit a thousand darts, split ya head apart…
Emcees depart, like rubin carter my hurricane left u scarred… Like a spiked bat grammatical bar, like a wonderland drug… Tumble - ing like a flagon of rum and 2 blunts, like the funk baby… |
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05-09-06, 04:41 AM | #11 | ||||||
Above Originality
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IP: D40E 67D5
this was a nice drop homes... i liked how you twisted shit around and dropped mad multies with this perfect approach to your topic homes... i like how you had nice emotion that kept me interested and kept me reading on til the end!...nice homes..keep em coming!...
drop feed on the ones in my sig!..
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Chryme Syndicate
-Chalkin' Up Your Future |
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05-09-06, 12:11 PM | #12 | ||||
WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
Quote:
hop off you wack fuck the battle got closed before people could vote and this can be considered an open mic piece, as most other open mic pieces are technically topical anyway topical battle me if you want to run up your mouth either that or step the fuck back oh yeh thanks to everyone else for the feedback |
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05-10-06, 05:34 AM | #13 | ||||
Better than you..
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IP: 18D3 A85E
I'll audio battle you ya fuckn geek emcee.
__________________
..ADLIB..
Spit it from the heart, spit a thousand darts, split ya head apart…
Emcees depart, like rubin carter my hurricane left u scarred… Like a spiked bat grammatical bar, like a wonderland drug… Tumble - ing like a flagon of rum and 2 blunts, like the funk baby… |
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05-10-06, 03:32 PM | #14 | |||
WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
who the fuck you callin a geek get your drunk ass fosters downin ass out of here
fyi if i had a mic i wouldn't be in the OM part of RV jog on you wack fuck.... |
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