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10-26-03, 04:50 PM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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[Die Today. .Feat.Edicius]
IP: 659B AFC6
Edicius
Weird, but this is the place i want to stay, couldnt imagine what it is like diein today. At one side it would be jus fine no more pain, no more tears no more drama & no more games. Never down never things to drive me jus insane and no more my hearts bein used as a big game On the other side the air that ive been breathing, and the love joy and friendship that ive' recievin. All the good things this life useally has to offer oldo most of the time im down in dark and suffer Makes me fall down on my knees and just pray, Cuz really tortue me to death, but i cant die today. I just have to take all the things jus like the are, emotions surroundin but takin over ? not by far. every one has feld it before it makes u just to fit, Handle situations impossible? but jus deal with it. Leaves Comes Back. .To Finalise but give me that chance to do it just let me struggle, day by day, But i must conquer is by myself so please dont let me die today. Potent What would you do if this was your last day living Screw you. . Open your mouths & I'll start pissing I just ain't giving a fuck while giving so many fucks Ain't had enough of watching all these tails tucked Whaling clucks. .Chickens blubbering their eyes out While my lazy ass would watch kilroy on the coach Annoyed & lash out, Why the fuck they complaining When you die its a big change yet it ain't changing Inevitably lifes arranging in ways that seem certain When you die everything seems like its not working I look fowrad to dieing cuz my eyes aren't rolled back It seems logical when you die, surely you'd look back Relax when you see again that you lacked meaning So attatch a dictionary while leaving. . Leaves Comes Back. .Still More Well I'm going to. .I would die today for writing rhymes Its not knowing you & what I'll find that entices my mind Will I die a brave explorer. .Or a name to the slaughter? Or both??? more eyes are rolling back than Asdas Prices Why are you trying to avoid it? Your going to be lifeless Lifes Hook You can become unattached to life at any moment Just take a stand back & check your involvement What would you do when it comes round for you Which It Will Do. .And can't come back for more But Edicius & Potent will stay here for y'all to adore Last edited by pot1ent : 10-26-03 at 04:55 PM. |
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10-26-03, 05:10 PM | #2 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: 0BD1 D5C7
This topic has been flipped alot of times but you two pulled it off nicely by bringing in the "but what if i stayed" concept.
Edicius's first half of the verse shined to me the most out of his work, the other half was pretty nice, just not as nice as what was before it. The lines that stuck out the most were the intro: Weird, but this is the place i want to stay, couldnt imagine what it is like diein today. At one side it would be jus fine no more pain, no more tears no more drama & no more games. On potent's part, I felt that he came the strongest in the center of his piece, good flow from both and good vocabulary. Sometimes a line or two may have been a syllable or two over but if you have a quick tongue with good enunciation you can pull this off. Best part: Whaling clucks. .Chickens blubbering their eyes out While my lazy ass would watch kilroy on the coach Annoyed & lash out, Why the fuck they complaining When you die its a big change yet it ain't changing Inevitably lifes arranging in ways that seem certain When you die everything seems like its not working This was a nice collab from both of you, You didnt need the ending with the bridge and hook. It didnt take away anything, but it didnt add anything, either. Good read. pz..1 -sal hfe |
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10-27-03, 12:58 PM | #3 | ||||
Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
Thnx man ...
Up^ For some more...
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Fuck you |
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10-27-03, 05:35 PM | #4 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 3CAA FAA2
thats ill great way to make a point of surviving and conquering life
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10-28-03, 07:27 AM | #5 | ||||||
BANNED
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IP: 1D62 B5F0
^ You are fucking gay and i'll have you banned for that response, moron.
Nice to see the young protoge's collabing, i didnt like the topic but you gave it a nice flip with the whole `but what if i stayed` idea, bars were kind of short from you both which threw the flow off for me in this, content wasnt as good as ive seen from you both, Edicius - what happened to your internals / multi's ?! lmffao - your styles getting like Chrits - ditch it and revert back to your old one. Transistion was decent, you should of played off each others verse like. . pot should of rhymed off Ed's and carried it on, more internals and multi's would of spiced this up no end, contenet was decent, flow should of been better, bridge was unneeded in this. ive seen both do better. |
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10-28-03, 11:52 AM | #6 | ||||
Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
Im noticin the multi missin now, ..
But i dont know..maybe cuz the structure is better now, ..:O ill try to work on that.. Thnx Up^
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Fuck you |
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10-28-03, 12:09 PM | #7 | ||||||
BANNED
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IP: 1B6B AD68
you could at least reply back to mine, hoe = /
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10-28-03, 12:11 PM | #8 | ||||||||
Retired.
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IP: 9FD6 DFF7
Quote:
Thanks for badmouthing my style = ) |
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10-28-03, 12:25 PM | #9 | ||||||
BANNED
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IP: 1B6B AD68
seriouly - its nothing. your just madd overrated here, you tell a basic story that has mionimal emotion and kids amp it up like its as masterpiece, it makes me sick.
if you posted that at any respected site, you'd get laughewd at and told to leave. seriously. |
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10-28-03, 12:52 PM | #10 | |||||||
Retired.
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IP: 9FD6 DFF7
^^^
Meh... I dont claim to be any good topically... |
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10-28-03, 06:23 PM | #11 | |||||||
BANNED
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IP: 3BCE 57C7
I thought that it was a cool topic, so i wrote a Die Today of my own, except its a whole song, read it and lwt me know what you guys think,, i just hope that it measures up to ya'lls, peace ONE!!!
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