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Old 04-09-07, 08:54 PM   #1
Jonathon
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From: Word life = Poetry... bringing words to life.
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Terumoto (0-0) vs Thomas (0-0)

IP: EF6E DF27

Write Away Your Thought Week One Matchup

Terumoto (0-0) vs Thomas (0-0)

Ok guys, we didn't have many people show for the preseason, but it is ok because the battles didn't count, and I can understand about the time restraints. Moving on, this week will count on your season record, so make every line you type, worthy of everyone's time. Please try your best to show, and if you need an extension (for whatever reason). Contact me through PM, or AIM (JonathonIsGod). If extension is granted, it will be no longer than 24 hours. Good luck to both, write hard, and try your best!

Verse's Due: April 13, Friday
Battles Close: April 15, Sunday

Please try your best to vote on three battles. Leave links in your check.

List of Topics

Rules & Regulations
Good luck!

Last edited by Jonathon : 04-09-07 at 09:11 PM.
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Old 04-09-07, 11:55 PM   #2
Terumoto
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adsfhsdlkfjahlshfalskjfh
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Old 04-11-07, 05:59 PM   #3
Spartacus.
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Word, Should be good. I'll see you friday.
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Old 04-12-07, 06:35 AM   #4
Spartacus.
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Sticks and Stone.

Continuously bullied day in day out,
tears flow but yet have no meaning
However,
Sticks and stones may break my bones
but words and ish can't hurt me.
My fears tessellate and bones stiffen
They brush past me in the morning
and my hair stands on end
However,
Sticks and stones may break my bones
but words and ish can't hurt me.

Words start to cause pain and i feel,
I feel, i feel i want to hurt myself
and now,
Word and ish could cause my death
but Sticks and stones can't hurt me.
I ponder death for a moment,
Sit alone and wilt away in the loo's
Cry and moan,
at what i've let them turn me into,
Words and ish could cause my death
but Sticks and stones can't hurt me.

I have witnessed no violence
and i've blanked out the words.
So,
Sticks and stones can't break my bones
and words and ish can't hurt me.

Blugeoned, Bloody and left to die,
The sticks and stones have hurt me.

Nobody comes,
Nobody can hear me.
I'm alone,
And i have finally,
Finally realised.

So who ever said Sticks and Stones don't hurt?
when i lie hear in a watery red pool of filth.
The words and ish sound ever so bliss
and i miss them o so dearly;
Cause now i can't feel the words and only the hate
and its at an impecable rate.
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Old 04-12-07, 11:27 AM   #5
iRRaTioNaL
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Terumoto: good rhyme scheme, good content, sum of it was very effectively done.... i can see it goin down on a beat nicely

Spartacus:

damn this was a low feel man, the emotion in there is like a dark sorrow that comes out tha words.... u can see a person from them in a perspective most people dont that makes this piece stand out a lot with such a simple wording technique

all in all tho im voting for Terumoto based on effort and consistency...
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Old 04-12-07, 04:51 PM   #6
Spartacus.
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Although he had pre-written.
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Old 04-12-07, 06:49 PM   #7
GESTURES
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v thomas i liked his piece, and he had a unique point of view, termuto verse was more about anime and ish...fuck is a sage and sakura..come on man save all that gloomy emo crap for another league..holla!
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Old 04-12-07, 11:13 PM   #8
Terumoto
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A sage is a very wise man, like a wise elder in an old village would be considered a sage. Sakura is the Japanese name for Cherry Blossoms.

And yeah, I pre-wrote... It's impossible not to, anyway. As long as you write your verse before the moment you drop it, it's pre-written.
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Old 04-13-07, 10:52 AM   #9
Journal!st
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well thi swas eighter way and thomas...every one pre writes so WTF?!..lol...


Ter- your verse intriguied me very vividly with emotoin you had put in ya know;... yours was very original and you switched styles form last week just showing even more of why your a high prospct in this league man.. you showed creativity and wording very well and assorted nicely man it wasnt all over the place and the flow of htings went well too man nice job.

Thomas- your verse was great man really vibed to it.. it spoke with wit and humor aswell as madness and sarcasm man.. you did a excellent job in taking your topic and escalating it to another level man.. really man a nice job.

Overall- i was honestly feeling ter's vers emore.. idk i was just so into his verse... i read it like 3 times... in a row for 2 days straight now im serious.. dud eit was just compelling me to read man.. it dragge dme on the ground cus of the emotion he executed. both good drop sthough nice shit here
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Old 04-13-07, 03:33 PM   #10
GESTURES
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Write
well thi swas eighter way and thomas...every one pre writes so WTF?!..lol...



sorry to freepost..but wtf my key was off the dome nikka!
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Old 04-14-07, 01:09 PM   #11
Faime S. Quotez
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Vote: Terumoto

Your piece was nice. I liked how the story turned out. Nice rhyme scheme. OK emotion. Decent imagery.

Thomas
Your piece was good. You have the style-structure of a real writer. But what made you lose to me, was certain parts of your piece didn't add up. But, at the same time, I saw where you were going with it. Your wording at the end took away from the whole piece. You could've worded that better to make it SOOO dope.

Good battle from both..
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Old 04-14-07, 05:06 PM   #12
Spartacus.
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Ok, thanks for votes.
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Old 04-15-07, 08:07 PM   #13
Jonathon
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Closed. Terumoto (1-0) beats Thomas (0-1)
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