check..........................good luck...........

Checkin In, Back At Ya Man, Ima Drop Tonight,

Can Sum1 Fix My Score For The Future I Should Be 2 Up Thx

Follow the light


her outline is outright gorgeous her frame is picture perfect.
that picture deserves a 1000 words but are those words worth it?
the end is near soon or is my vision just 3D or animation?
so when reality hits is it pain? or a painful imagination.
I didn't need her! ........who am I kidding? I need her!
I'm love sick...love nautious, my heart has a internal fever.
I thought we would last far so you had my heart in a glass jar.
now we're nothing but one big air bag like crashed car's.
the samw car you took me for in a long ride we had a strong vibe.
now I'll just play my part as a tissue as this song cries

The bridge to a new life is here...........but I'll cross later.
Bcuz victory is sweet but right now my mouth has a lost flavor.
length of the time we woulda had together is to long to measure.
something kept me around I guess the pain was also pleasure.
the after effect you left me? ouch it felt like I fell 5 floors threw.
cuz sticks and stones broke my bones but your words did too.
but I'm more of a man to take u back and assume you've change.
so I'll just keep my distance and watch you suffer from a range.
heart cried tears, I got played like instruments and for u I sang.
and I tried to get revenge but everything I throw keeps coming back like a boomarang.
I've burped blood threw up my insides and it still wasn't enough.
and now I have to watch the only thing I have leave me scuff
they say life moves on.........well it can move on without us
cuz I'll turn this gas into liquid and let our solid fade to dust.
what I feel is a high feeling but I'll let the pain get sober.
because this is like chess, without the king the game is over.
so my queen make your next move and follow a knight.
because you've left me in your shadow's but..........
....... I'll follow the light.

Risin' thru tha ranks i watch my back in this game
I just dont give a fuck i've got a strap to my name
Puttin bitches in their place like i master a dog
Im the bearer of a plaugue the last disaster of god
When it started in tha ghetto i had love for my thugs
And then every last one of us was hooked to drugs
Now these part timers jealous sayin 'i aint a G'
And as much as they're hatin, they wana be me
Im so dispikable by nature it was coded in my genes
Survivin through tha baddest im a soldier pointin beams
So they know, next time satan rises shit is goin down
Then all his little toys somehow are nowhere to be found
Realities collide and plotz are dug by the blind
All they wanted was a laugh, go home to love and unwind
Its a frame around my history that issues no respect
To those who dont show it in the scriptures they neglect
I've got a million words or more i scrapped for sanity
They'd swear u was my bitch but for lackin in vanity
Now these heads wana fight me im wreckin ya vibez
Those cowards off the street just protectin their livez
Ima show you what im made of and hit up the verse
With a punch that'll leave u gettin fucked for the hearse
An easy left a killer right itz a safe combination
When it comez down to it ima straight abomination
Fearless even faced with death i hold it like a weapon
Only tha realest soldierz livin ever addin up tha seven
I can taste it in my spit like some crack that i ate
No hit thats worth a mention and i gag for a date
As the pillars of society are crumbling to their doom
I gloat and hope with all my heart the end is coming soon
Through my inner demons laughin last ive won in the fall
Its english more or less... you just really aint 'fuck' all

eh.

this battle wasn't up to par on what i thought it would be. You both really do need to improve, and I thought Irrational was better than what he showed here. Grammer and spelling, grammer and spelling, grammer and spelling. What the hell? Did neither of you go to school?

Jonathon's Tip
Don't substitute s's for z's
Don't abbreviate words like because to bcuz
Don't have profanity in every line
Tell a decent story line

Come on, both of you, yall are better than this.

Irational - Your verse was decent, for your skill level, you just need to learn how to form your skill into a wepon. You don't grasp the concept of correct grammer and spelling, it makes your verse 10x better. You had a DECENT story, by DECENT i am very leaniant. Keep writing, just try to spell shit right, and try to make everything legable

Jay-Brook - Your storyline was good, and your flow was ok, but you just got lucky this week. Listen man, if you don't learn how to get your spelling and grammer issues under control you WONT elevate. Thats your problem, you just got to learn how to deal with that and you will be a good writer..

v/Jaybrook

I rushed this yesterday before I left you've prolly read better shit on RB don't worry....you'll see better from me.....but I didn't know who this guy was so I wasn't that worried but wateva no exscuses uppin 4 more votes

i had to rush too, thx for the vote tho

overall...brooke takes the win..he was more allaround and was more COMLETE with ihs emotion and content and flow...he was more into his own piece and shit and was more illy on that fact he hada nice pic i mean he might have hada upper hand cus if that but none the less he dropped nicer..

__________________

thankz uppin..................

Irrational:
Your verse didn't seem like a topical that much. It seemed like a verse for Open Mic. You must have misunderstood what they meant by "Free Verse". The rhyme scheme was decent, but you didn't tell a story or have a topic. Okay verse tho.

Jay-Brook:
Your piece was good. You had emotion, content, flow. But most of all: YOU WROTE ABOUT A TOPIC!! I felt what you were talking about. Good job.

V/ Jay-Brook

__________________

The Scholar

thankz lets get some more votes plz................also thankz for the decent feed........

Jay-Brook WINS (2-1)
Irrational LOSSES (1-2)