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07-10-05, 12:13 AM | #1 | |||||||
New to RV
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Tomorrow's feelings of the past....
IP: 17A8 F574
this is the first actual peice of poetry ive ever wrote...so if it isnt good it isnt my fault!..its kinda long but i just went with my feelings and my fingers...but im open for comments and constructive critizism...If It Isnt Good Dont Lauf! lmfao..naw i dun care...lol
Tomorrow's feelings of the past.... My Heart no longer bleeds The Blood Of Love.. Ive Surprisengly Fallen Out Of That Evil Emotion dat we feel comes from above. the heart breaking experience will only make one stronger. i guess the tru love i desire will once again Have To Wait Longer, The Thought Of Being Alone Still Reigns Unbearable, this feelings that i feel can only be described as terrible... i regret to say, when i said i was fine i was mistaken, these tears n this blood ive shed has left my heart brutally beaten and in destress, i feel this emotion is something that i must now Be Forsaken, how can i live with this feeling when it makes me feel like something less? If I Said I No Longer Feel For You Then That Would be A Lie. my heart still belongs to you thats something i must confess. without me you will be happy, i wish for you to no longer feel to cry. these feelings are tomorrow's Feelings Of The Past, life is always moving sometimes i feel its going all to fast. i find myself looking into my soul. the more i journy into this abyss of Darkness pain Blood sweat and tears, the more i feel like my soul has bin abandon for years and years. they say what doesnt kill you sha'll only make you stronger, but this pain eats away at my heart more n more day by day and i feel that i can not compete with these emotions any longer I Often think what it would have been like if i held her n whisperd to her to stay. if i have said that would we both be indeed okay?... looking at myself, i have turned into something i didnt wish to become. as every pull off this ciggarette it pours my Discontent and animosit for myself into my lung im afraid they have turned black not from the chemicals disease but only from myselfs disease of self anguish i think to myself, what it would be like if all feeling in general would just vanquish. im trapped in my own disembodied prison of crushed dreams and false hopes. i wish some one would come Take My Hand and guide me out of this dark sanctuary i have inprisoned myself within why is it that love is a feeling that i desire?when all it does is fuffil my head with awe? Im retrospect i feel that my life, and my emotions grasp onto a thin wire, but these are feelings of not the future but of tomorrow's feelings of the past. true happiness is close, just beyond true love, But is it really within grasp? It Seems Good Guys Dont Finish At All, But Trapt within these walls of pain and agony hastily searching for a door, a way out, when there is none to be found so i give up and sit in this vast Darkness Of Which Theres No Way out, Screaming for help, while theres nobody around to hear the sound. These Are tomorrow's Feelings Of The Past... Last edited by ThaCrunkOne : 07-10-05 at 12:14 AM. Reason: iunno lol i noticed a bad spellin mistake |
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07-12-05, 05:01 AM | #2 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: A589 0DDC
whuut no 1 can give no feedback?...why yalll sleeepin? wake da fuck up lol
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07-12-05, 06:20 PM | #3 | |||||
Light Weight
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IP: 492F 7AD1
Quote:
Well, you have to drop a link.. think of it as rv love.. you post feedback and you get feedback. This is your first poem ever? If so, not to bad. I would work on your structure and rhyme scheme but over not to bad for first poem ever.
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