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12-05-05, 06:32 PM
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#1
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A Life Of Chryme
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The Revelation & DramaQueen vs. Max Mcfly. & Crazy Hades
IP: 7A9A 093F
 Battles up: Monday Check In: Wednesday Drop time: Friday Both members must check in. Only one member must drop the verse. If you are unsure about the rules, click here. Topic: When time stood still 20-50 Lines per member
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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12-05-05, 06:56 PM
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#2
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GG Haterz
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IP: 1CD5 0806
 Bye Hades.
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 Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me  ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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12-05-05, 07:00 PM
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#3
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IP: 3881 400B
=O.
.. Check.
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i'm bored. |
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12-06-05, 04:08 PM
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#4
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Odi et Amo
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IP: C9A2 1C80
Checking In..............
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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12-06-05, 04:20 PM
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#5
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Just searching.
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IP: DB41 DC69
Excuse me while I fart.
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12-09-05, 10:56 PM
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#6
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GG Haterz
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IP: 45E5 0C8D
First verse: DQ
Second verse: Me Last 2 bars: Combination The air outside steams with the touch of the ground warmed by fires, Men holding onto a burning flame so close that their hands perspire. Crooks and liars inside the building decide the future of their country, I sit outside with these men, wondering why visions continue to haunt me. I let the fear of loss leave me, and maybe that's what I need inside, But I want to cry like a little child and find a hole where I can hide. Why must we fight a war that will not be won and holds no purpose? Is it because of pride, money, or do the people only know the surface? The government isn't truthfull to us, they withhold information on purpose, What doesn't kill us may make us stronger, but it will always hurts us. Sudden movement, we all turn our heads to see a missle rising from snow, 3 feet, 4 feet, 5 feet, how tall is this weapon? Only the makers know. As it continues to rise, others follow like soldiers on to their mission, We can no longer hear each other, with so many engines we cannot listen. Planes line the airways, waiting for the order to fly and release the bombs, That will separate spouses, brother from sister, babies from their mothers. We stand here frozen in fear, birds fly away as we know the time draws near, Then we turn and the sargeant is about to yell........but how do we not hear? Everything slows down and he isn't moving, he just remains there as if ill, Then I lose track of the minuetes I spend wondering why time stood still.. . . . . We stand on this side and the time is drawing closer, load the weapons! As we wonder about their situation we receive an interception. A code unbreakable, but we understand the basic message within it, The best of the best try to decipher it as they wrap themselves in bearskin. We load the atomic and now we go around the camp hundreds of times, Wondering if this order will be the one that will call the kids to bedtime. One man paces back and forth, causing imprints within the ground, We are all chattering and scared, but inside us will the courage be found. Around the people live the souls of those who have passed on in battle, Whether it's the soldier or it's an innoecent battle and its rattle. We look at the food around us, only livestock and cattle, Then we see a body moving, and realize it is the general. He briefs us on the procedures again before the operation is executed, We all knew what we had to do, but the question was who would do it? Battles stations everyone, as we run it takes longer as we are only at the mill, Then we just stand there as the world and time stands still. . . . . This war caused controversy, no one would expect anything less, Two of the worlds most dangerous countries, fighting for the best Prize of all, respect, but with respect comes a price they wouldn't pay, The cold war was when time stood still on those forsaken days.
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Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. Last edited by The Revelation : 12-09-05 at 11:00 PM. |
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12-09-05, 11:22 PM
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#7
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Just searching.
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IP: DB41 DC69
Crazy Hades The alarm clock showed six, sounds reminiscent of thunder following through the dim room, he had laid in wait staring at baby pictures and scientific literature since the rise of the moon. And the gloom soon intruded and the mood is set eternally by angry, impatient hysterics, his sobs as all he loved robbed could only be heard by those with the most potent of hearing... In the adjacent kitchen lay a twisted girl, fatally sickened at her own deformed, ugly body... Screams and dreams confiming death made the perfect disease, that was secretly shoddy. ...... "Feliz Navidad!" The class shouted, but little Lorana Viveras thought celebration was stupid, and she fumed in the back of the room, swathed in shadows and staying hidden and secluded. "Now class, settle down; silencio, silencio," Mrs. Gonzalez exclaimed, smiling, full of caring, but Lorana turned her head, showing she was excluded from revealing her own holiday spirit. "Lorana," Mrs. Gonzalez said, brows furrowing in worry. "I'd ask you to go and join us, but what in the world is that?" Lorana gave her a strange look and felt something...maybe a fungus. Giggles ran throughout the classroom, but Lorana was oblivious, absorbed in her own problem, and rose as the class stared at her, holding her bookbag. Behind her, someone called, "Green Goblin," causing most of the room to burst into laughter at the nickname, and Lorana onlt simply stared, silencing the laughs with her glare, Mrs. Gonzalez's gaze following her, full of an abnormal fear. The last thing Lorana heard as she exited the classroom was: "Down in Spain, there are reports.. of a deadly disease, where people receive cancerous growths and their corpses fill the morgues." ..... "Set your bookbag to the side now," said the nurse, staring at the girl with raised eyebrows. "I'll be with you in a minute Ms. Viveras, so wait a moment. Go to those beds and lie down." Lorana threw her backpack and settled into a bed, the top protected with a layer of plastic, and underneath, the fabric was covered in notes and blaspheme. "Now, I think it's pretty obvious what's happened; You've contracted that bad virus that's going around," the nurse said, peering into Lor's iris. Her inspections were followed by a long silence. "Well..." the nurse said. "I'm not lying... it looks benign in this current stage, but I'm by far no expert on this type of strange matter, and I want to call your parents." Lorana was mad concerning the fool and witch who had her. Though some students would embrace the chance to leave school, she didn't want to go home, but little did she know, soon the pain would begin as the flesh was sloughed from her bones. [...Contamination... /\__/\__/\...] The biologists were confuded, the Roman Church's bells sounded, rapture had found its way to humanity and now was grounded... in the form of a disease that adapted to its surroundings, carried by the soon-to-be buried before Charon was paid for their ferry, and the morgue was the background of the diseased and hurt... with so many diseased...Time Stood Still...though clocks still worked. Ticking above the families, who were each affected differently: the normal scene was diseased parents, and a little girl whimpering. It found them in shelters and wherever places they felt the most safe, having viewed the most horrible scene, and there was not one change. They simply called it...El... Max McFly. [ The faintest pulse... ______/\___ ] Peeking through her swollen blood-shot eyes, a week passed strapped to hospital sheets, Lorana is oozing puss and fungus with blistering tissue inside, the doctor's help seemed bleak, While her father's rubbing her cheek, to the nurses her health was hardly an issue, The cure would take years to concoct. Dad said, "Sleep so the death's grip will miss you." With an evolved state of the Bubonic Plague infecting townspeople waiting to pounce, When people wander the streets lurking for hope, the end of life has made a denouncement, The father gently stroked his daughter's hand, looking at the blood vessels popped under her nails, Her eyes went blank, spasms jerked around the fragile bone structure slowly becoming frail, Sweating, glaring at the medical equipment through peripheral vision hoping she survives, Letting her grab his shirt crying in agony screeching with arduous and wistful strives, Lorana tugged with all her might scraping a gash with claw marks tearing his polo shirt, She hugged him screaming out "Make the affliction stop!" The nurses were on high alert, Blood was leaking through the 4-layered cloth, her eyes dripped with the parasite, This was happening in every patient's room; they hardly had enough doctors to assist, If this dreaded event keeps up, the whole town and everyone in it soon might not exist, Spinal fluid mixed with exploding veins burst through her ears, her future wasn't bright, Putrid-Green colored pigment consumed her face mixed with blue marks from the clotting, The virus constricted her lungs only forcing Lorana to spit up blood, her silky hair rotting. Apocalyptic, the city turned to a ghost town; a whimper could be heard across the streets, It flashes back to past diseases; their society decides crumble as history seems to repeat, In each little apartment, loved ones would collapse with no one to save their dying brothers, Families are wrecked; babies tugging their bloody sweaters of their hopelessly choking mothers. The faintly devilish voice turned hoarse, and Satan was riding down a one way road, Hitting every living creature in his way, suddenly all you could hear was a beep explode, Blood droplets had enter the father's cuts on his back from his daughter, tumors came bulging out, Shouting "Honey, please…why did you stop breathing?! Need a heart? Mine I can do without!" The Father stood carving Lorana's ribs with a scalpel, "Please, I just want to hear your heart beat!" The Doctor came in terrified yelling, but "Have you gone mad!" is all he could repeat, Lorana's loving dad puts his ear right to her respiratory system, breathing hard mumbling words, Like "Please God, I'll give up my own organs to save the life of my daughter," Were absurd, He hacks away at his shaky skin, inserts his own heart into her with malevolent chants, The thick blood mixes with Lorana's, dripping impenetrable gunky ooze resembling Aloe Plants, The nurse runs in; "What have you done?! You sick freak!" unable to comprehend the sadistic man, Lights in the room blink back and forth with psychotic torture, his heart hung on by a strand, All of the staff fainted, lying limp and languid; macabre scenes filled the room covered in blood, The virus plans to vanquish everyone in the hospital, fiends bask devouring them in the flood, The blood spattered clock strikes 12 o'clock while the hemic corpses twitch around the metropolis, Where trapped souls frolicked turning this once prosperous community into a necropolis. |
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12-11-05, 12:29 AM
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#8
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All these Dead Presidents
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IP: B3D0 327D
Very good pieces from both teams.
I'm going to cut right to the overall break down of what I thought instead of critiqing each verse. Revaltion and DQ - I thought you both had a good colorful vocabulary. You both put good emotion into the piece which made it a fun to read piece. Your imagery was very nice, however I was feeling the other verses more. Neither of you had stretched lines which is good. Only a couple forced rhymes i felt in this one and that is important. Good piece. Crazy Hades and Max - Great piece. Only thing I have to say is about the lines. Some of your lines were a tad bit on the stretched side. Your vocabulary was very colorful and appropriate. I enjoyed your imagery because I had a good mental picture going. Pretty good emotion on this one, I could feel what was going on for the most part. Most of your rhymes were on point, one or two may have been forced. Overall great piece guys! ^ That should sum it up for ya'll. \V/ - Crazy and Max
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- Chryme Syndicate - so - S T F U - My Literature
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12-12-05, 04:50 PM
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#9
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Is F'in Bored
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IP: 0BFD F3C2
I liked both pieces really, they were both raw. Unfortunately i can only vote for one
Max Mcfly. & Crazy Hades: I liked you guys' piece but I couldn't say i was really feelin it to the degree of time standing still. I'll give you guys this though, certain lines did give me the chills like and the morgue was the background of the diseased and hurt... with so many diseased...Time Stood Still...though clocks still worked. The Revelation & DramaQueen: I felt this piece slightly more, time standing still, i had the imagery goin in my head of the war and i could picture something like a missle going off, and even after the poem was over i could see the end. I could see the missle falling out of the sky and right before it hits the ground time slows down like the matrix. Then its over in a flash. I had quotes in the other verse but this is the one i loved out of the entire battle. The government isn't truthfull to us, they withhold information on purpose, What doesn't kill us may make us stronger, but it will always hurts us. good battle v/Rev and Queen
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My SpellBook Fuck being creative, you guys have certainly given up on it
GET DOPER Knowledge is Power, Stop being Weak The Legend of Blackmage Featuring such heads as...Tha Q, 9th degree, Enygma,The green team, Big J and probably you! SO DON'T SLEEP!Coming soon to a soundclick near you...
........Shit.....Nigga.......
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12-12-05, 06:28 PM
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#10
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GG Haterz
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IP: 2307 6939
__________________
Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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12-12-05, 07:54 PM
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#11
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Just searching.
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IP: DB41 DC69
Learn to vote my nikkas!
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12-12-05, 10:11 PM
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#12
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All these Dead Presidents
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IP: B3D0 327D
*sniffle, I did vote*
maybe you should vote on my battle............
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- Chryme Syndicate - so - S T F U - My Literature
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12-12-05, 10:23 PM
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#13
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Just searching.
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IP: DB41 DC69
- cracks an argonsphere over Fathom's skull. - You won anyway. I'll vote tomorrow.
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12-12-05, 10:36 PM
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#14
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All these Dead Presidents
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IP: B3D0 327D
lol..... if I did then why not just post the feed ? LOL
__________________
- Chryme Syndicate - so - S T F U - My Literature
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12-12-05, 11:12 PM
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#15
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The Original Half Ass King
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IP: 7C6D 1B8D
V/Rev & DQ............
I was feelin it more. Plus I am a half-assed kinda guy and refure to leave a page of feed.  ...and Rev, Im feelin the siggy, your a god. |
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