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04-08-03, 02:13 PM | #1 | |
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*~John Doe~* a.k.a "My Father" (The Letter)
IP:
John Doe's words were spoken,---
at a young age I never knew-- covering lies with empty promises--- which left me emotionless & confused--- had a mommy and a daddy combined, in one person but when the two were together it resulted in physical cursing--- I could'nt cope with the thought of being the one tarnished reluctant to the fact that never was I, open-hearted--- But soon I reached a older age where I could really understand, that it took more than a dick and a sperm-filled hand--- empty sacks of paraphenalia removed times from sudden beatings, why did your anguish strict rage result in my soul bleeding---- Apologizing constantly I flinched with distant hugs--- just prayed that you wouldn't kill me all I wanted was your love---- I cried when you slammed the door saying don't come back, could'nt even look me in my eyes without a panic attack--- all I wanted was a daddy and I begged for you to stay leaving clues of no interest I discover till this day--- drowning in my own guilt a battered and bruised soul no control in my life still looking for that console---- Toxic tidal waves of stress spawning into my scene leaving me young and wise in a state thats only serene--- still there's tomorrow, where fathers and children glisten, all I wanted was a figure that's manly and who would listen--- but for you theres no respect, just memories of cheap thrills conflicting my decision, in a life of assorted pills--- to you I gave my heart, and you gave me a closed fist, throwing my love away like paper in the deepest hole of abyss--- you murdered me emotionally and strangled my realest change, now I'm prone to the pain, sort of numb like novacain--- But see my mind feels naked still not knowing why it's me your first born pride you were intrigued to deprive---- a mailbox with no mail with emptiness that remains a human really without a being so it's me that you slained---- hmm my first tragedy which I united with death but for you I refuse to take BaKardii's last breath---- a constant search for the answers, for your love I wont recapture, I was just a conquest with many saying "why her"----- respectively you've made me stronger but theres no thank you's in crevices it can't and wont find my lips my hate has worsened since---- so this is my letter to you dad I'm fleeting and still I stand, it takes a boy to be a daddy and a father to be a man.... I Hate You |
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