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03-17-09, 11:54 AM
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#1
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Johnny 6-feet (1-0) vs MurDaH187 (1-0) vs Burden (1-0)
IP: 4859 033E
Checkin in Wednesday Midnight Pacific. Drop by Friday Midnight Pacific. Voting ends Sunday Midnight Pacific. Topics MUST HAVE 3 LINKS IN CHECK-IN And one must be on either the champ Or the contender match.
__________________
Fuck Yuu Productions
5x PS HOF 2004 Poet of the year 3X writer of the month |
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03-17-09, 12:05 PM
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#2
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Addicted
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IP: 45F7 F0B4
sucks im checking in no battle to vote on yet so i'll put them later...
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03-17-09, 12:30 PM
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#3
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Herb
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IP: 4556 7CE7
Checking in, let's do it guys.
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=249720 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=249725 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=249721 Last edited by Johnny 6-feet : 03-25-09 at 03:20 PM. |
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03-19-09, 06:55 AM
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#4
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Herb
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IP: 4556 7CE7
Blood in the Air The sword seemed to slice the sunlight to 2 rays As time ground to a slow march, my mind drifts to a haze It had all gone wrong, my army had lost Defeated on the borders as we were charging across I'd been called a hero by my people, a leader without equal 10,000 souls to back me without seeking a sequal We'd stormed the country at lightning speed, burning the bridges Freeing slaves and renegades, earning our riches But greed is a terrible thing and my arrogance grew And i encouraged worship of my image, idols i married it to We press-ganged men to join us, and those who refused? Found themselves on the altar, gagged, tied and subdued Blood flew through the air as the sacrifice was made An example to brand memories and entice a slave So i believed i was invincible as we approached our last battle Preaching sermons to the pupils, making the class rattle As cannonfire cut us down and the horses ran us over I found myself bound by the enemy soldiers And as time catches up with me on these execution grounds I reflect on my life turned to evil in dusty shrouds The blade hits my neck and why shouldn't i care? The same as war and sacrifices, now there's blood in the air |
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03-19-09, 07:46 PM
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#5
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Addicted
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IP: 04EA F333
^^^ nice....
i will drop tonight.... topic: vison blurred |
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03-21-09, 03:00 PM
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#6
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Addicted
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IP: 04EA F333
i didnt concentrate on this because i was late and i wasnt to drop something quick and not be a no-show but no exscuse so here it is....
Vison Blurred: In life there decision that occure, with sacrafisting ur pride and ur word sometimes its between you or her, with killing to served.... this mission absurd, stop for a sec to piss on the curve smoked an ounce of weed now my vision is blurred... my percision is preferred, when visiting this bird who's known to shit on niggas like any piegon, thats my word... all she know is money making, while honey taken every bit of stolen good before u've awaken... but just this one time honey got me mistaken she took 3,000 dollers, look where i found her, at a resturant eating some beacon.... said hi baby, i was hungry but i dont have enough so can u pay him she gave me a kiss then went to the bathroom and kept me waiting.... seen the purse first, then i dispurse to see if she was faken only to realise, the real lies she told that was foshaken.... she came back said im full now, an if i can help with her sexual fustration i blank out, due to the juicy lips, big ass an tits, an said O.K then... i open the door, she striping like a profession whore, the way that ass was shaken had me saying, DANM, thats one bad jamaican started to fuck without waiting, till i was breathing hard an her body shaken... the way the passion was u would think we been throu this for years an dateing true be told, i found this bitch on the corner thinking she was being rape_an... ran to help, smash dude face with a rock an said its ok-mam but didnt realise at the time it was because of the stuff she taken... another victom on the prawl, she knew it thats why she scream out loud now there i was, thinking i did good, feeling all proud... took her to my home to wash up, had a couple of drinks till i passed out woke up by myself with my stash box out, woundering what was that about... went in a rage, went to find my gun started griping the gauge visioned stabing her eyes while im ripping her braids... my decision is made, went to where i first found her only to see de-ja-vu again, but i stood to watch for-sure... as the scream got worst, thought about the love we made, an now not helping DANM IT, BITCH IM CONFUSED, SHIT... MY VISION IS BLURRED.... ( WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I DO ) |
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03-22-09, 05:46 AM
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#7
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Herb
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IP: 4556 7CE7
EDIT- Links are now in my check-in post as requested.
Last edited by Johnny 6-feet : 03-25-09 at 03:21 PM. |
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03-22-09, 11:44 PM
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#8
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Addicted
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IP: AC56 19DB
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03-22-09, 11:46 PM
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#9
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Addicted
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IP: D0DD 1AD2
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03-23-09, 06:26 PM
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#10
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New Jack
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IP: A1E4 9BCF
Johnny -
Cool verse, however it was pretty simple. The story was cool, and it flowed very nicely. Vocabulary, as usual with you, was above average. A cool topical piece overall. Murdah - Although longer, your verse may have been simpler than Johnny's. It had a seemingly rushed style to it, but I can tell your actually getting better. If you keep writing, you'll be able to hold your own in the league. However, Johnny edged you out here a bit due to a smoother flow and overall more enjoyable read. Vote - Johnny
__________________
I'm Beast. |
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03-23-09, 08:10 PM
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#11
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Addicted
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IP: D0DD 1AD2
well respected vote and thanks for the feed....
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03-23-09, 09:57 PM
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#12
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text.even geico can do it
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IP: 3AE9 A7D5
johnny- it was a dope little drop. its kind of how i was thinking of doing that topic if i did it, good thing i didnt though lol. I liked the approach a lot, mad hype in intensity. i've seen you do better but this is still one of those pieces that set the caliber. cool imagery, sort of straightfoward but had a pretty nice flow too.
Murdah- thats whats up, at some points the flow was decent, and you had some more creative wordchoices and multis than usual, actually holding your storyline. the read seems to progress well, but the idea just seemed generic to me. but props for really having my interest at times. your shaping up. v/6feet |
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03-28-09, 06:00 AM
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#13
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Above Originality
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IP: 3EEA CE8F
Johnny wins by unanimous
__________________
Chryme Syndicate
-Chalkin' Up Your Future |
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