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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-07-05, 01:26 PM
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#1
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The Epitome Of Greatness
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Final Vs. C-Bo
IP: 3240 794D
Rules:
Battles Go Up Friday Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time 20 Lines Minimum 40 Lines Maximum No Biting No Recycling Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week Topic: Blanket Of Hope
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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion  |
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01-07-05, 03:08 PM
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#2
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IP: D5FE 7245
check..........by the way check beef it up theres something you gotta fix that you might not of known...
yea i checked that out thanks for mentioning it to me  -F.I
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The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line "I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus Last edited by FlOw InTeLLiGeNt : 01-07-05 at 04:17 PM. |
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01-07-05, 05:44 PM
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#3
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...Simply The Best
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IP: 0825 899A
checkity check.....................................
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 Net Record(56-9) RV Record(13-3) Overall Record 69-12 |
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01-08-05, 04:19 AM
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#4
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...Simply The Best
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IP: 0825 899A
'Hope'
Here's a story of a boy...and at the time broke... I reached for money to give to leave on a fine note... But he needed more than that...he needed to see what I know... But my mind choked at his motionless eyes as I tried to define hope... So I left...I never gave him a word or a coin... His tongue was dry and I knew he was thirstin for joy... I wondered...why I wasn't nursin this boy... I've come to die and meanwhile search in the void... What is hope?..It seems like a waste or a black hole... And if so...is it true that the grave is the last goal?.. Hope is weaved in death...but thats why I hold on... Cuz in fleeting breath...its all I have to stay strong... I thought of that boy ever since I've learned this now... I replay that day in my mind...but I never turn around... I kneeled in front of him but this time I never froze up... So I took his hand and showed him what his hope was... I let him into my soul...hope is the heard and mind... I led him back into life...hope is the stars at night... We both start to cry because we now know there's hope in our dreams... And the river that cleanses us suddenly broke into streams... This is the song for the hopeless...but what does this anthem give?.. It provides answers to the weary and the dead a chance to live...
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Net Record(56-9) RV Record(13-3) Overall Record 69-12 |
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01-11-05, 08:40 PM
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#5
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IP: D5FE 7245
it was a clouded horizon and yet the sunshine was showing fire hydrant open, kids playing with cold water flowing me and hector in front of the building, observing all else dealers and gangs not far, but fog hid them from ourselves all eyes were on the children, theyre so free and non aware water balloons,blastin music...nowhere near their own despair theyre sparked with youth they dont know the truth like it or not then that train of thought empties when i see a car down the block black all around,tinted windows,broken down rims it was shitty able to scare off others when it rode slowly through the city it began slowly making way we stood up we were intimidated it sped up all screams and running as if we were being raided we tried to run, we hit the deck and hid behind the other cars when it was all clear of fear i saw my friend lying on the tar i found out hes been hit oh shit call the paramedics quick nah they'll take too long ill drive him now before i regret it tossed him in the seat ran through red lights at full speed vision turned blurry and my mind was only swept with memories hector was my homie for life id die for this kid in an instant we picked each other up after we've fallen or slipped its a gift to have him here beside me in my presence hes not about to leave before we even set precedents remembering the times we threw fart bombs in food places and plotted plans to rob candies from stores and escaped it when we played football in the street,arguments sparked at a tie... and having to move to the side whenever cars were passing by and baseball on the sidewalk plastic bat and wiffle ball... 1.00 for the package,those that didnt chip in...well fuck em all my cousin hit pop ups and they got stuck on the fire escape hector climbed to get it he became spiderman the great these shots arent his fate and i know hes stronger then this these memories clinging to hope that he stays on the survived list so no name tag on his wrist or sent on a stretcher to the morgue got to the hospital they took him,so much blood even they not sure what to do...is he done,NO HES NOT...i told them that waitin in the lobby prayin to god, on my knees is where i sat 4 hours later, im stressed i cant take it nomore i have to see whether his monitors lines are flat or through a bag...hes breathing i thanked the lord swept in tears i cried so much it was hurting he gave him another chance,a new hope,a new life,a new person.......
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The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line "I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus |
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01-11-05, 09:15 PM
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#6
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IP: D5FE 7245
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1889281
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1889267 theres 2 links...no other battles to vote on peace
__________________
The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line "I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus |
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01-11-05, 09:24 PM
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#7
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Tight.
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IP: C959 12E0
Final I found takes this for his imagery and his more followed through concept development. Your flow wasn't to bad either. I also enjoyed yours more, as it provided the better read.
Good drop. vote/ Final |
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01-11-05, 10:05 PM
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#8
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
hmmmmm c-bo came ok,but it kinda sounded like a 3rd grader was telling a idiotic story,but the imagery was ok he did have some,its just that id work on your wording alittle bit ok/,the emotion was eh decent man,but overall i wasnt feeling your piece at all,no hate man just elevate a little...and staying in this league will definately help you,so good luck
Final-ur piece was dope,the vocab was quite good,the emotion was raw,and you added a vivd imagery to ur piece which helped understand your take to the topic better,you also had a fgreat storyline,so overall i felt you won this in every category... props....decent battle v/final
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Crhyme Sindicate
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01-11-05, 10:18 PM
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#9
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As Seen On T.V.
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IP: 5867 FD83
C-bo: nice piece, i felt the it a bit. it was a bit weak as you began to undergo the emotional aspect of the tale, but the rational & logical feelings were included. remebering my own past of neglect, there have been times people gave me hope, so i fully understand that the story his legit. but you only brinked the basic, you didnt cross the norm border. nice work, undoubtedly.
Final: good work, you obviously spent much more time & put twice the effort into your literacy. value of work is important as well as effort. you reached the forty line limit, which tells me you want to be around for round two, your actual piece was good. you have some strong views. i liked the overall picture. congrats. vote: Final
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quote your own damn lyrics...
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01-11-05, 10:45 PM
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#10
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Knock out kings fur life
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IP: C636 71EE
FINAL gets my vote his flow was good and he made it easier for me to understand you did not do bad also but keep elevating on it and you will be ok. And most of all Final gets this in every catigory.
it was a clouded horizon and yet the sunshine was showing fire hydrant open, kids playing with cold water flowing me and hector in front of the building, observing all else dealers and gangs not far, but fog hid them from ourselves all eyes were on the children, theyre so free and non aware water balloons,blastin music...nowhere near their own despair theyre sparked with youth they dont know the truth like it or not then that train of thought empties when i see a car down the block black all around,tinted windows,broken down rims it was shitty able to scare off others when it rode slowly through the city it began slowly making way we stood up we were intimidated it sped up all screams and running as if we were being raided we tried to run, we hit the deck and hid behind the other cars when it was all clear of fear i saw my friend lying on the tar i found out hes been hit oh shit call the paramedics quick nah they'll take too long ill drive him now before i regret it tossed him in the seat ran through red lights at full speed vision turned blurry and my mind was only swept with memories hector was my homie for life id die for this kid in an instant we picked each other up after we've fallen or slipped its a gift to have him here beside me in my presence hes not about to leave before we even set precedents 88.9/100 |
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01-12-05, 07:12 AM
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#11
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Odi et Amo
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IP: ADF9 F4E9
C-Bo: vocab was okay, nothing too complex or complicated. Flow n structure were good. Emotion was there but i felt like you could've showed a little more, could've gone more indepth in the way you approached the topic, it's like VA said: it looks like you're giving us the basics, maybe even a rough draft of what might turn out to be a really dope and deep drop, ya kno? But it was a good verse nonetheless, just try to make us stand still once in a while to think about something you said...
final: you did a very good job, the vocab was impressive, flow and structure were good. The emotion was there for sure, it seems that you worked hard on this drop and it definately paid off cause it became a wonderful piece of art, storyline was nice too of course...Actually i can't find anything to give bad comment on, solid drop! Vote goes to final...
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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01-13-05, 08:15 PM
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#12
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Light Weight
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IP: 6FA7 7304
v/ Final
C-BO: If you took some time on this piece, it could have been a solid drop. I liked the approach you took, but it just lacked a little bit in all aspects. You got some real potential man, just keep writing. Final: Nice topical here, I liked the story and it was filled with emotion and imagery. You had me picture the whole scene. Vocab overall was good. Flow lacked a little bit at points but wasn't bad. |
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01-13-05, 10:14 PM
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#13
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The Epitome Of Greatness
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IP: 0825 899A
Final Wins By K.O
Final +5 C-Bo -3
__________________
RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion |
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