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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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08-10-05, 03:59 PM
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#1
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New to RV
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Hey Ya'll Check This Freestyle I Call It: "too Much Heat" Lol...check It...
IP: 0825 899A
LITTLE FREESTYLE I MADE...JUST JOKIN AROUND WIT THA WEATHER AND WHY IT'S SO DAMN HOT...IM STILL WORKIN ON THA STRUCTURE OF IT...IM GONNA WORD IT BETTER SO HERES THA RAW FORM OF IT...LET ME KNOW WHAT YA'LL THINK!!!
WHATS UP WIT ALL THIS HEAT MAN I CANT EVEN BREATHE// I WEIGH LIKE 270 SO YOU KNOW IT'S EXTRA BAD FOR ME// BUT I BE LOOKIN AT THEM "FAT ASS" NIGGAZ LIKE OH MAN "GOT DAMN"// "LOOK AT HOW HE'S WOBBLEIN AROUND, THIS NIGGA CAN BARELY EVEN STAND// "THEY BE SUFFERIN SLOW, AND SWEATY BREATHIN LIKE HE STUCK IN A TUBE"// I BE FEELIN SORRY FOR EM', I GO AND TELL EM' "HEY BRO, YOU WANT SOME WATER MY DUDE"// BUT THEM SKINNY NIGGAZ BE WILDIN OUT IN THA HEAT TOO// YA'LL BE GETTIN EARDABLE, AND BE QUICK TO YELL AT ANYBODY WHO APPROACH YOU// BUT BELIEVE I TELL EM' "HEY YOU LITTLE FUCK, YOU BETTER CHILL OUT"// "BEFORE I LEAVE YA FACE LEAKIN, RESEMBLIN SOME THREE YEAR OLD SAURKRAUT"// BUT THESE LITTLE NIGGAZ DONT LISTEN, HE STILL BE RUNNIN OFF AT THA MOUTH// IM THINKIN "HE AINT GONNA BE SATISFIED TILL HIS LITTLE ASS IS SLEEPIN WIT THA TROUT"// I DIDNT GET TOO MAD, CUZ I SAID TO MY SELF, IT'S GOTTA BE THA HEAT// BUT I SAID FUCK IT, I HIT HIM IN HIS CHIN, AND I LEFT HIM ON THA GROUND COUNTIN TEETH// GOT DAMN THIS FUCKIN HEAT, WHY DID IT MAKE ME DO THAT SHIT// I SHOULD'VE STAYED MY ASS IN THA HOUSE, WHY DID I HAVE TO HIT HIM LIKE THIS"// I MEAN IT WAS ALL BAD, NIGGA LOST LIKE HALF IS BOTTOM ROW// I PLAYED IT OFF LIKE FUCK IT, LOOKED AT MY NIGGA AND SAID "LETS GO"// BUT I REALLY, REALLY FELT BAD FOR THA LITTLE GUY// HERE I AM 6'4" 270, HE WAS LIKE 6'0" 195// YOU CAN CHALK THAT UP TO THA HEAT, IT POSSESSED ANOTHER NIGGA// WELL, YOU KNOW IT COULD'VE BEEN WORSE, I COULD'VE GOT THA .45 AND PULLED THA TRIGGER// MAN, GIRLS BE TRIPPIN TOO, FINDIN ANY AND EVERYTHING TO FUSS ABOUT, CUSSIN YOU OUT, MOUTH DIRTIER THAN A SKUNK// BUT YOU FELLAS WE USED TO THAT SHIT, YOU KNOW WE HEAR THA SAME SHIT ONCE A MONTH//(LMAO) BUT I TELL YOU ITS GONNA GET WORSE, DAMN WE NEED SOME OZONE, ASK GOD WHEN IS THA NEXT SHIPMENT//(LOL) YOU SHOULD SEE ME ON THA FIELD IN LIKE 12 POUNDS OF FUCKIN EQUIPMENT// NIGGAZ BE READY TO PASS OUT, PISSED OFF AT THA COACH// "GOTTA GET THIS HELMET OFF, MY FUCKIN BRAIN IS GONNA ROAST// BUT IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT YOU CANT BLAME IT ALL ON THA HEAT, CUZ IT REALLY DONT BE THAT HOT// WELL NOT UNTIL I COME OUT, CUZ LIKE I SAID ON "GOIN CRAZY", IM HOT AND I CANT STOP// NAH FUCK THAT SHIT, ENOUGH WIT THA TOUGH TALK "IT'S FUCKIN HOT"!!!// MAN I PRAY TO GOD EVERY DAY "PLEASE, LORD PLEASE DONT LET MY A/C STOP!!!... Last edited by BIG BOSS : 08-10-05 at 04:04 PM. |
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08-10-05, 04:04 PM
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#2
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 0825 899A
Wasnt really feelin this, jummped around wit the subjects a lot like u said ur structure was fucked......ur lines to stretched out.....try and get each line to end up at the same spot......ur vocab was simple you need to up on that......enhance it as ur verse goes along.....Ur multis was basic dawg.....up on that too no hate just giving straight feedback....!rtf on my sig links if u would.....peace dawg keep evelvatin keep posting....1
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08-10-05, 04:33 PM
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#3
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IP: 0AE0 3B1A
Drop a link or this will be closed
Moved to freestyles
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The Competition
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08-11-05, 12:51 AM
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#4
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Semper Fi
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IP: 3240 794D
You know what imma give you advice
1. Word you lines better 2.Dont Stretch your line 3. Yes its a freestyle but dont subject hop to much 4.Dont Cap everyletter makes people not wanna read N suffer while readin 5.Drop a fuckin link or this will be closed Just pretty much elevate you show u can rhyme well and shit but nigga straight rap it man..If u gonna rap then rap dont rhyme....so just elevate and take advice from some of da other elder cats on da site
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 Project List The Classick Mixtape Vol (8/18) Age Of Consent Mixtape Vol 1(16/16) The Classick Album(2/16) S&S Express E.P.(1/10) Lot of back to back shit. Stay tuned. |
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