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04-22-07, 05:54 PM | #1 | |||||
The Write Weight
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Jay-Brook (1-1) vs Irrational (1-1)
IP: EF6E DF27
Write Away Your Thoughts Week 3 Jay-Brook vs Irrational Ok, this week, we have started a Champ and Contender match. Those of you who are not in the champ or contender match, prove yourselves worthy and work your way up. Remember, the prize is 100 dollars, and there are some other prizes as well. If you no-show, you will be booted, from now on that is the rule. Invite your friends as well, help expand our league. Don't leave all the work for the mods to do, we really need your help too! Well, good luck this week guys, keep up the tempo, and outwrite your opponent! This will be the only free verse week you got, so make it good! (Free verse week, write what you want, any topic, just write.) Rules Good Luck! |
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04-22-07, 07:20 PM | #2 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: EF7A A2F1
check..........................good luck...........
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04-25-07, 11:32 AM | #3 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: F71A FCFE
Checkin In, Back At Ya Man, Ima Drop Tonight,
Can Sum1 Fix My Score For The Future I Should Be 2 Up Thx |
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04-25-07, 01:33 PM | #4 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: EF7A A2F1
Follow the light
her outline is outright gorgeous her frame is picture perfect. that picture deserves a 1000 words but are those words worth it? the end is near soon or is my vision just 3D or animation? so when reality hits is it pain? or a painful imagination. I didn't need her! ........who am I kidding? I need her! I'm love sick...love nautious, my heart has a internal fever. I thought we would last far so you had my heart in a glass jar. now we're nothing but one big air bag like crashed car's. the samw car you took me for in a long ride we had a strong vibe. now I'll just play my part as a tissue as this song cries The bridge to a new life is here...........but I'll cross later. Bcuz victory is sweet but right now my mouth has a lost flavor. length of the time we woulda had together is to long to measure. something kept me around I guess the pain was also pleasure. the after effect you left me? ouch it felt like I fell 5 floors threw. cuz sticks and stones broke my bones but your words did too. but I'm more of a man to take u back and assume you've change. so I'll just keep my distance and watch you suffer from a range. heart cried tears, I got played like instruments and for u I sang. and I tried to get revenge but everything I throw keeps coming back like a boomarang. I've burped blood threw up my insides and it still wasn't enough. and now I have to watch the only thing I have leave me scuff they say life moves on.........well it can move on without us cuz I'll turn this gas into liquid and let our solid fade to dust. what I feel is a high feeling but I'll let the pain get sober. because this is like chess, without the king the game is over. so my queen make your next move and follow a knight. because you've left me in your shadow's but.......... ....... I'll follow the light. |
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04-26-07, 11:44 AM | #5 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: E997 A22C
Risin' thru tha ranks i watch my back in this game
I just dont give a fuck i've got a strap to my name Puttin bitches in their place like i master a dog Im the bearer of a plaugue the last disaster of god When it started in tha ghetto i had love for my thugs And then every last one of us was hooked to drugs Now these part timers jealous sayin 'i aint a G' And as much as they're hatin, they wana be me Im so dispikable by nature it was coded in my genes Survivin through tha baddest im a soldier pointin beams So they know, next time satan rises shit is goin down Then all his little toys somehow are nowhere to be found Realities collide and plotz are dug by the blind All they wanted was a laugh, go home to love and unwind Its a frame around my history that issues no respect To those who dont show it in the scriptures they neglect I've got a million words or more i scrapped for sanity They'd swear u was my bitch but for lackin in vanity Now these heads wana fight me im wreckin ya vibez Those cowards off the street just protectin their livez Ima show you what im made of and hit up the verse With a punch that'll leave u gettin fucked for the hearse An easy left a killer right itz a safe combination When it comez down to it ima straight abomination Fearless even faced with death i hold it like a weapon Only tha realest soldierz livin ever addin up tha seven I can taste it in my spit like some crack that i ate No hit thats worth a mention and i gag for a date As the pillars of society are crumbling to their doom I gloat and hope with all my heart the end is coming soon Through my inner demons laughin last ive won in the fall Its english more or less... you just really aint 'fuck' all |
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04-26-07, 12:59 PM | #6 | |||||
The Write Weight
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IP: EF6E DF27
eh.
this battle wasn't up to par on what i thought it would be. You both really do need to improve, and I thought Irrational was better than what he showed here. Grammer and spelling, grammer and spelling, grammer and spelling. What the hell? Did neither of you go to school? Jonathon's Tip Don't substitute s's for z's Don't abbreviate words like because to bcuz Don't have profanity in every line Tell a decent story line Come on, both of you, yall are better than this. Irational - Your verse was decent, for your skill level, you just need to learn how to form your skill into a wepon. You don't grasp the concept of correct grammer and spelling, it makes your verse 10x better. You had a DECENT story, by DECENT i am very leaniant. Keep writing, just try to spell shit right, and try to make everything legable Jay-Brook - Your storyline was good, and your flow was ok, but you just got lucky this week. Listen man, if you don't learn how to get your spelling and grammer issues under control you WONT elevate. Thats your problem, you just got to learn how to deal with that and you will be a good writer.. v/Jaybrook |
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04-26-07, 02:40 PM | #7 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: EF7A A2F1
I rushed this yesterday before I left you've prolly read better shit on RB don't worry....you'll see better from me.....but I didn't know who this guy was so I wasn't that worried but wateva no exscuses uppin 4 more votes
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04-27-07, 04:24 AM | #8 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: E997 A22C
i had to rush too, thx for the vote tho
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04-27-07, 10:22 AM | #9 | ||||||
Above Originality
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IP: 9465 0DDF
overall...brooke takes the win..he was more allaround and was more COMLETE with ihs emotion and content and flow...he was more into his own piece and shit and was more illy on that fact he hada nice pic i mean he might have hada upper hand cus if that but none the less he dropped nicer..
__________________
Chryme Syndicate
-Chalkin' Up Your Future |
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04-28-07, 01:13 AM | #10 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: EF7A A2F1
thankz uppin..................
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04-28-07, 01:28 PM | #11 | |||||
Light Weight
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IP: D4D1 D4FD
Irrational:
Your verse didn't seem like a topical that much. It seemed like a verse for Open Mic. You must have misunderstood what they meant by "Free Verse". The rhyme scheme was decent, but you didn't tell a story or have a topic. Okay verse tho. Jay-Brook: Your piece was good. You had emotion, content, flow. But most of all: YOU WROTE ABOUT A TOPIC!! I felt what you were talking about. Good job. V/ Jay-Brook
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Faime S. Quotez
The Scholar
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04-29-07, 07:07 PM | #12 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: EF7A A2F1
thankz lets get some more votes plz................also thankz for the decent feed........
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04-30-07, 06:23 AM | #13 | |||||
Flyweight
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IP: 4E5A 80E7
Jay-Brook WINS (2-1)
Irrational LOSSES (1-2) |
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04-30-07, 08:56 AM | #14 | ||||||
Above Originality
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IP: 9465 0DDF
^^STFU!
you aint running shit
__________________
Chryme Syndicate
-Chalkin' Up Your Future |
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