it's fatal lyriczz, you know that the z makes him cool,
the lyrical fool that apall even the thick kids at school,
Ok your opening here was decent, the set up i liked, but the follow through didnt seem to hold much of a hard or directed punch
beastialities his deal, he'd give a seal a feel,
and give a piscine animal a touch of his eel,
now the concept of this line is decent. the attempt the multi is alright but sort of basic. Your follow through needed a better punch
he steals pigs and hogs so he can make em squeel,
and loves the taste of deer, but before they make it veal,
i see the subject your shooting for and as far as your topic goes its phat to see people useing one whole topic when it comes to battles but the punchs are falling short
the only thing fatal for this fucker is his critics,
he tries to write scientific, but cannot grasp the physics
liked the follow through, set culd have had more strength, the metaphor is alright
you see, you can't see me lyrically,
and physically, i eat an mc literally,
eh, more of filler type ish to me
i'll take you're name serious and reverse to you're house in a hearse,
with an uzi and an ak spitting a violent verse without rehearse
your picked up some at the ending, it was an alright end but fell short of a dope punch

Over all your punchs were decent, but you stuck on the animal lines to much, the fact that they werent hitting with any real strength hurt you. You rhyme scheme seemed alright but basic for the most part, all of them were simple rhymes to me. Metaphors were ok

You AInt Original Coppin Canibus|..
But The Only Thing You Bust Is Yo Mama In Da But|..
alright attempt at a personal... but the follow through lacked, it needed some rewording here and there
Sayin Enter The Dragon Makin Him Sound Like Bruce Lee|..
I Guarantee That He Gets Lost At Sea While This Emcee Gets Hit By Me On Both Knees|..
again trying the the personals i like that, personals are essentail to battles it shows direction and creativity. Your follow through was nice, although not much a a strong punch in there
He From The United Kingdom And Cant Even Be Royal|..
As My Rhymes Boil You Wrapped In Foil While i Bury You In A Flowerpot With Soil|..
your set needed more, as for the follow through it was an alright connected multi, but thats about it
This British Bitch I Got Him Tangled Up Like RubberBands|..
Standin There Shool Like Violin Book Stands|..
basic metaphors, not much in the way of punchs
You Like A Bug And You Gonna Get Sqaushed First|..
You Sayin THis Cant Get Worse But Like A Wizard I Put A Curse While My Bullets Firin At You Like Burst|..
basic.. you need more directed punchs in your verse, along with strength in them to really diss your opponent
If Your Rhymes Were Out Left In Da Cold It Would Only Be Considered Sick|..
You Lil Prick Mess With Me I Kill Ya Clique....Now You Know You Aint THe Only 1 With Them Karate Kicks|..
the ending needed a little more... Your attemped at personals were alright in the follow through but they werent coming off as hard

Over all you need to work on your punchs and the strength you put into them. Your attemping personals which is good because i think a decent personals is better than a hard punch, it shows creativity to dissing your opponent instead of an unoriganal verse naw mean? You had basic metaphors which really hurt your flow.

Vote- Fatal lyrikzz
Over all he came with more punchs, that gave way to a little more direction. Dragon your verse lacked really good punchs and came off sort of basic, now there were a few bars that were dope but the animal lines took away to much from the verse.


Hit an honest vote with me vs unknownskill
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=107825

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