Euphoria's kiss...

Thinking of her:
The linguistics that my pin spit in this instant
Are scented with emotions that send this
Intense since of love...Which is the immense gift
Handed to me, by her...Carried on Gloria’s lips
I lay & reminisce, on my first taste of euphoria’s kiss.....

The first night:
The night’s cold, as she pears into my soul
And I can’t deny though’s eyes, so, I froze
My pose: looking back into her endless stare
I begin to care, as her hand sends the air-
From my chest as she unbuttons my shirt
She understands my hurt, & what fuels my work
I smirk, as my right hand glides up her leg
Red satin sheets seduce and cover her bed
Her slight moan alone send me into extasy
From her lips :You can have the best of me
The glow of her eyes revels my destiny
I get lost in the deep hue, that’s gifted ta her
I wanted to resist it at first, but that thirst
Couldn’t be denied, and I submitted to love...
This is the first time that I’ve admitted the above
I was doomed to hell at birth, so let my sin
Her yielding legs slide, open and let me in
I seep a sentence: Love, I’m adoring you gist...
Then I penetrate her, and have my first taste of euphoria’s kiss.....

A later time in life:
The hurt pulsating through a grown man...
My love lost: I sit crying in my own hands...
I can only think of love....the intense since...
Of the immense gift, carried on Gloria’s lips...
I can only reminisce on my first taste of euphoria’s kiss......

-Archaic


Note:
Forget vocab, rhyme scheme, wordplay and everything else that you may think I need to be. I’m not a hip-hop robot. I feel, and that’s what matters to me. You can be a slave to a formula, but let me be human. After all, hip-hop would have never been born if everyone stuck to the status quo.

Hmmm...I actually like this..I thought this was pretty good~I liked your note at the end...and with that your simplicity was much more enjoyable...I can't really break nothing down(since you put the note out...LOL~)but,I will say this..this was very nice...peace...^.^

I like this piece, it had a heart felt feel to it which I think is lacking in most drops, I think that if you really feel the piece it will most likely be a pretty good piece. Just keep at doing what you do and improving yourself how and in what areas you think you should improve yourself in and keep dropping. You'll get to whatever level you want to get to if you just keep at it.

very good....im thorougly turned ot by this peie...what a nice peice...everything just came together nicely..good job arch

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Thanks for the feedback...

Its not often, unless the well known writers drop that you see good use of multis and I think you should be known as one of those writers after just dropping those tight multis, your scheme wasn't too consistant, but the flow was tight throughout, I was feeling your bar length even though it might be a bit stretched over a beat, but It all depends on your tempo, anyway, the content was nice and soppy, not many people like that, but its good to keep your writing versatile, peace out man, oh and i liked the topic.

very dope man. reminds me of mine. thats pretty much wut i did. thats cool.
i really enjoyed reading this one. you had sum nice multies in there, they all
went well together. pretty much kept the flow going. it was easy to follow
and the complexity maintained itself also. i like the subject aslo which is pretty
apparent seeing how i write about the same things. keep at it. i felt this piece
right here.

pz

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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

yo homie...tight ass drop, i havent seen many drops from u but fuck it..this drop was strait fire..n like pot1ent said, it isnt likely that we get a writa that can use multis to de fullest..u 1 of those writas n shoulkd be recogniozed fo it..the whole piece was full o emotion n good ass multis n vocab...all i can say is keep writin n hope to see more of ur pieces lata on

Peace

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yo homie that was a straight up ill drop! i was feelin the story and the emotion alot!! nice flow and keep it up dawg holla at me 1

Thanks for the feedback everyone...

I'll drop my next OM when i get two more replies on this...

-∀

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H e n c e F o r w a r d

Dammit!

I'm begining to think you don't like me