Rules:

Battles Go Up Friday
Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time
Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time
Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time

20 Lines Minimum
40 Lines Maximum

No Biting
No Recycling
Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit
Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines

You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week


Topic: Forgotten Memories

__________________

RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion

Checkin IN...........

__________________

checkity check..

i c u aint droppped yet its 12.30AM in UK and im tired as fuck...ill drop by Wednesday midnight..if i do it now ilt'll be wack and i gotta come strong 2 beat u...Peace

__________________

I'll say yes to the extension...as I still haven't keyed anything up...we'll both drop tomorrow

Wack fucking ending...and its fast, but I got no time to finish it nicely...gotta work for 12 hours now...peace

Bright rays shine through the bedroom window
The sight of the light, has my face in the pillow
My skin is a pale white and my head continues to pound
Still taste what I drank last night, as I begin to look around
Trying continually to re-trace my steps from yesterday
Entire memory’s been erased, my minds in disarray
Mass confusion surrounds my discoloured face
Try to pry a memory but this headache takes its place
I shut my eyes, looking for a summary of last nights events
Travelling through foggy skies, I only find blurred contents
Finally rise out of bed, notice my sight is obscured
Two black eyes and I’ve wondered what I’ve endured
The phone rings, my best friend on the other end
He says I have to confess, and he’ll be there to lend
A helping hand, my mind’s driven further into
The depths of confusion and sirens come to view
Police cars outside my house, calling for me
They place me under arrest for first degree
Murder, but I can’t recall any of the crime
But I’ll be able to remember in twenty years time

__________________

Whyte Ave.

Vocab, flow n structure were all tight, no bad comments on that whatsoever. Emotion and imagery was real good in your drop and i LOVED the twist in the end and the way you approached the topic...solid drop for real! Not wack at all!

Acuity

Vocab, flow n structure were tight just like cat you're up against. Imagery n wordplay was real good but emotion was bit less in my opinion. You told the story in a vivid way and i liked it but i just felt like there could've been bit more emotion into it but overall very nice drop too!

My vote goes to Whyte Ave. but it was really close...vocab goes to Acuity for sure but was feeling more emotion into Whyte Ave's drop...no hate...close, real good job of both!

__________________

Bright rays shine through the bedroom window
The sight of the light, has my face in the pillow
My skin is a pale white and my head continues to pound
Still taste what I drank last night, as I begin to look around
Trying continually to re-trace my steps from yesterday
Entire memory’s been erased, my minds in disarray
Mass confusion surrounds my discoloured face
Try to pry a memory but this headache takes its place
I shut my eyes, looking for a summary of last nights events
Travelling through foggy skies, I only find blurred contents
Finally rise out of bed, notice my sight is obscured
Two black eyes and I’ve wondered what I’ve endured
The phone rings, my best friend on the other end
He says I have to confess, and he’ll be there to lend
A helping hand, my mind’s driven further into
The depths of confusion and sirens come to view
Police cars outside my house, calling for me
They place me under arrest for first degree
Murder, but I can’t recall any of the crime
But I’ll be able to remember in twenty years time
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ On the real fam this was an solid drop, i flet you had more imaginary than expreessing which its cool. Vocab was good. The creativity was tight and nice.




One day in a china town I got up with my life stripped from me
The only thing I have is my alias on a dogtag written Acuity
I sometimes get flashbacks and visions to the war's brutalities
I'm haunted by them and the psychedelic, tripping sights of human debris
When I dream I'm haunted by faces rushing across my screen
Unkown smiles and waves, they strangers scaring me like banshees
Since that fatal flight plunged and left me with these deformities
I have lost to the wind memories and recognition of previous realities
All those stories of old vacations and situations are now fallacies
Only reason i know is due to stories told by those surrounding me
Ma cerebellum and bank of memory on scan is stricken with abnormalities
My days, my proclaimed life with my friends is simply a formality
The heart-wrenching thing, is the misplaced past with my family
No longer do I know who or where they are, there simply photographic entities
I can sit, try and remember my people but the is truth forever eluding me
I never have a moments peace of meditatative beautiful harmony
Because Im constantly racking my thoughts, looking but failing to see
A black vortex, television fuzz, with an epic buzz like a swarm of african bees
I light inscence every day, open up the bible, and pray to the lord by my mantel piece
Pleading, Begging, Yearning for him to simply give back my forgotten memeories
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Chea nice fam like Drama Queen said, solid drop with some wordplays and rhyme. Good flow, nice vocab too. The creativity was good. The part when expressing, you came a little weak and no hard on it fam


overall= this goes to white ave for my emotions and expressing it. No hate to acuity but i felt your verse with less emotions and expressing. Both tooked everything in a topical category but the one difference in this battle was expressing and emotions and white ave took that category. peace no hate.

__________________

both flows, vocab, n structure were there and it was great...Im going to go with Acuity on this one for creativity because i think it made up for his less emotion givin in the piece opposed to white ave...acuity had good word play n imagery. White Ave had good imagery and good emotion. But i gotta go with acuity on the drop
if ya need more info on my vote just let me know


v/ acuity

__________________
B.Wall







O.G.

wow this was a great topic btw..........
but i have to go with acuity

white........ok you had a lot of emotion in your verse........yo came at it really good too.........you had a good storyline.......i liked your verse........but i felt that if you had better vocab your imagry woulda upped some.........and this topic needed lots of imagry.......which acuity brought more.....im sure if u had more time t woulda been better and closer of a battle........and yeh it sucks that u had kinda a blah endin but it was still a good verse

acuity.......you def had the vocab and imagry in this battle.........i felt what the key focus was imagry cuz it was about memoriesyou had a very good verse.......i liked your verse a lil more cuz i felt it a lil more with your emotion not that you had more but the imagry upped the intensity of your verse..........good job man.....

v/acuity

__________________

Great Great Battle Here...
My V/ Whyte Ave.

Acuity
I like your drop. Its solid in the beginning..solid in the middle..and solid at the end...but it seemed like a normal drop..nothing interesting..but nothing completely boring..just like you didn't care if you won or lost...But it whas solid...

Whyte Ave.
You gave somethin that whas interesting to read...gave a lil odd twist in the end and i whas wit it all da way...the vocab whasn't better than A-Q but your imagery and elaboration on the topic provided a better drop..

<madd respect> both </respect>

__________________