That last withering blink sinks
into the grasp of linking lashes
and said never again will this iris
dance in such a glimmering fashion,
but rather, latter the Mad Hatter
from the rabbit's cavernous palace
to patternless grounds of valance
to decorate the stage of Val Halla.
To the blind the beauty is mind,
use of which is the fuse lit to find
such is the handicaps last stance.
So the dams are barbed and roped,
and the man of smiling scars holds
to find the art of design in a mile of hope.

Closes his eyes, gulps three times;
tries to lose his sight as the light
pries through loops and writes lines
along side the wide end of his noose,
as he resumes a fast descent through
the brain's metal chutes again
....... to conclude in hallucinogens.
Takes that last step left of sane
and dances the fence that intersects
two hemisphere of queer from the brain.
Started there, deceiving ones self meaning
to transcend reason and land pardoned
...................... In the Garden of Eden.

Hollow feet follow eachother past east,
down the serene semi-round frown
that detached from a blown glass sea
of navy blue to meet with gold in piece.
The two interlocked, as blue rocked
its new love to sleep, then the two stopped...
Locked lips fast in a fit of passion
as the two both fell to yellow grass limbs,
and upon Blue's last thrust he knew...
Kissed her cheek and whispered, "I Love You."
Defined sections of their love streched on
along the lost skies shattered white eyes,
As from earth I saw the birth of a spectrum.

Waved good-bye to my dien' days
with a racing mind pacing the woods,
and as that last second danced away,
a man was blessed with death as
the hands of God unlocked the gates.


http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2670622
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...0630post2670630

god damn, i have to say that from the very first line, i was into it. the rhyming was very interesting to read and the topic was ncie with well placed vocab and imagery....real nice drop atty, rtf in my tears of ink topical

__________________

All fed man... And thanks for the feedback on this, I apreciate it.

cool imagery vocab metaphores very poetical lol
upppppppppp

__________________

that shit was wicked and poetic. somethin different and new. (although it has been here for a while) still i really liked reading this piece keep up the good work kidd.

__________________
im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.

nice......i got into this very fast...nice imagery and vocab metaphors. keep doin your thing FAM........

__________________

^What's your alias?

*Sigh* Upping this

Closes his eyes, gulps three times;
tries to lose his sight as the light
pries through loops and writes lines
along side the wide end of his noose,
as he resumes a fast descent through
the brain's metal chutes again
....... to conclude in hallucinogens.


Favorite lines. I like the picture you painted. Your wordage is what made this rhymes get my attention.
The metaphors were soild which made the flow fluid.


Stay sharp



http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=224392

__________________
[IMG][/IMG]

hat shit was tite.. nice story tellin kidd

stay up

__________________
absolute reality...

*Shakes Head* Ya, thanks for really break it down... Fucking herbs

Its good if you like this sort of thing..

I'm not a big fan of topical writing, but i'm always down to read a creative peice when I see one, and this certainly was one, good job on it...

not much more I can say cos I really wouldnt know wtf I was talkin about seen as how I'm no poet as such, but I'll give props where Its due, good drop Att...

__________________

Omfgggggggggggg I hate you



10/10 fuckin faaaaaaaaaaaag

Closes his eyes, gulps three times;
tries to lose his sight as the light
pries through loops and writes lines
along side the wide end of his noose,
as he resumes a fast descent through
the brain's metal chutes again
....... to conclude in hallucinogens.
^That was sicc i was really feeling this drop..it was very emotional and had lovely feeling ...imagery was very good i was really feeling your wordplay and vocab usuage overall this was a very good drop.. and i was really feeling it ..nice job.

__________________