Rules:

Battles Go Up Friday
Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time
Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time
Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time

20 Lines Minimum
40 Lines Maximum

No Biting
No Recycling
Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit
Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines

You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week


Check-Ins are now MANDATORY. Check-Ins are due by sunday at midnight. If you don't it's considered a no-show.

Topic: Youths Progression

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Check mufuka.

-CJ-

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check check check

Birth

I saw the light suddenly, and felt strangely inclined to search for the sunshine,
But I'm scared, I wanna stay with mommy, and it looks like their cutting my lifeline.
But i'm still alive, just left momentarily confused, then i think, what a clever rouse,
Looks like here they leave you singing the blues, but just don't leave any clues,
To why this goes on, and little ones are left forlorn, all crying and carrying on,
That's why they call us babies, not calm till mommy reads a story or sings a song.
I don't really think I'll like it out here, But I guess I owe it to mommy to give it a try,
So I say Hello to the world, I hope along with the years, all these fears pass me Bye

The Wonder Years

Man, was I wrong about this place, every day is just filled withnon stop laughs,
Getting looks of adoration and words of praise from all the people that I pass.
I love school, we learn colors and shapes have naptime, me and my buddies play,
No girls, they have cooties, we stay gay in a happy way, and tell them keep away.
Back home hang out with mom and dad, play with my toys or else watch cartoons.
Eat my veggies so i can have dessert, off to bed to tales of pirates and dubloons.
I can do something wrong, play dumb and get away with it because I'm so young,
I think of all the things that I've done, all of the fun, & smile, the party's just begun.

Adolescensce

Damn has life gotten so rough, every little thing makes me feel the world will end,
And HBO shows have me reminiscing, & got mewishing I could sing Soprano again.
Every girl at first seems like my 1 true love, but then all leave me with such pain,
But Joey told me they were all worthless, & the only girl i needed was Mary Jane.
English musta became a foreign language to me, said fuck all that R-E-S-P-E-C-T,
Those who did the most to mold who I'd be no longer meant the least to me,
School was like multiple choice, Which college? I just chose None Of The Above.
Did I mind? I guess I'll Tell you when I get through the haze of this phase of drugs.

Adulthood

Sure, I can say that I wasn't too scared to go through life without taking risks,
But that's little condolensce when you have to ask for permission to take a piss.
Went from using to peddling, observing to meddling, just took whatever i wanted,
Given life and taken it, Stirred up trouble, and never shaken it, and now i'm haunted.
By the faces and souls of the life that I've stole, that were ended before their time,
Men really are selfish cause out of them all, the one I really want back is mine.
Had the curse of turning for the worse, a life that was blessed, made it into a mess,
To reside at my new adress till my last wake-up, then i can finally get some rest.

-CJ-

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Shit I forgot about this....

Ill try to do a quick verse before 12

That post wasnt even before 12...

4-21 the journey begins, right away original sin
Im trapped within, so through the tunnel I went
entered the world, bright lights, sunny days, dark nights
baby food not to mention all the new sights
break through the barrier yet cant see clearly
nearly free, a smack on my ass till i cried severly


Constantly crying, diapers, bottles, and midday naps
winter comes im stuck in sweater traps and wool knit caps
scarfs and mittens, snowballs and a snow day
second grade, school yard sports, everyday we play
the same games and right after lunch we pray
summer vacation we got a new pool it seemed so cool
one rule, no diving, but i chilled with everyone school
pop warner came next dorchester eagles, always the best
pads on my shoulders and chest gotta keep dad impressed
ready to move to the next level on lifes long quest


12, 13, and 14 went so fast out of middle school at last
being a lil kid left in the past, great now im mowing the grass
new chores, new school, and older girl friend of course
frustation from a new source, my parents going through a divorce
while im busy just trying out for high school sports
they both gave me all kinds of support helped with school reports
I found hip hop to stay sane I swear I had rap in my veigns
thank god they reconcilled as i was on my way to the next grade
junior year, rough time, after school I stayed, finally got laid
got my first car could never buy gas my girl always paid


Senior year full of parties and weed thats all i need
I proceed to the fork in the road at full speed
right or left, good or bad, fuck it i went straight ahead
not ready to grow up yet I try to live in immaturity instead
senior project and SATs up next can only hope for the best
obsessed praying everynight my pen will become blessed


finally grown, a place of my own, walking into the unknown
a single light shone a candle in the wind burning alone
College? Can I get in? What will I study? Am I even ready?
Ironic, child hood ends and I have to start again already

anxiety that post was at 11:09 eastern time...my verse was due at 11:59 and I posted at 11:34

Oh... My bad dog... I was gonna let u drop anyways... My time is fucked up on here tho, lol...

lol its good looks on the fact u were gonna let me drop tho

i think that Epitomy won, because i hate all of that "birth, adulthood" and going through the whole life stuff, it makes for a dumpy read, Epitomy took it because his could keep your eyes to the screen and also he just had better vocabulary and emotion... good job.

v/ Epitomy

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im gonna try and get votes on here as quick as possible because i dont feel its fair for epitomy to get the win off 1 vote and i thought CounTREE Jay won this...

emotion-CounTREE Jay, without a doubt...the amount of detail put into this piece was amazing...very complex and it looks like you put a lot of effort into it and it showed, epitomy had a good verse too but it wasnt as complex and didnt feel like you had emotion...it felt like you were just talking with a pale voice you didnt have a tone that made the reader think hes sad, or angry etc. countree had this a lot and the detail put just upped it even more great verse countree...

imagery- CounTREE Jay again the detail here...throughout the entire verse in each part there was something in there that made you see what was going on and how this person was progressing into adult hood...epitomy i thought you had the most imagery in the beginning of your verse but i felt that was it...it didnt carry on throughout the rest of it

sorry i cant vote on the other aspects but i feel if you got imagery and emotion down you basically won the battle and this goes to CounTREE Jay for a great very detailed verse props countree...lets get some more votes so this gets closed

good luck
peace

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CounTREE Jay: like how you divided it into those seperate paragraphs. Strongest aspect of your piece was the emotion. You gave very detailed discription of every phase and managed to express the emotion. Found good balance concerning your vocab, had some amusing lines in there (for example: No girls, they have cooties, we stay gay in a happy way, and tell them keep away). Weakest aspect is the flow because your sentences are mad long, it's difficult to keep the flow consistent.

Epitomy: I feel that you kinda rushed yours, you followed CounTREE Jay's approach but failed to give an indepth description which decreased the emotion. Had your flow on lock though and vocab as well as structure were tight but for me, the emotion has to be strong in a topical battle and I feel CounTREE Jay came stronger on that aspect. Like your ending though with the questions and such.

Good but long ass read by both of you...vote goes to CounTREE Jay

DQ

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