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Old 12-28-04, 02:34 AM   #1
The Mexican
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a little story

IP: 23D5 2B69

New Years Eve 2001 the night we began.
Remember it clear as day, sitting in that room,
bottle spins and it lands on you. Smile on our faces,
lips touch for the first time, only a peck but I couldn’t resist
had to slip in a little tongue. That moment on I knew one day we
would be together. Summer begins playing man hunt in the neighborhood
always hide with each other just so we can be together. Liked you so
much I was just to scared to show it. We kissed again and from there on
every night we tried to play the game. Didn’t plan on having you forever
but plans change. Every summer from there on we got to see each other.
2005 Four years later we still want each other. We’ve been through a lot.
All the good and the bad. Now we have a chance to be together.
Do we take it or let it slip??Answer me at 12:10a.m. on January 1st.
The four year anniversary of our first kiss.

leave some feedback plz.
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Old 12-29-04, 01:38 AM   #2
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quit sleepin on this feedback plz
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Old 12-29-04, 02:19 AM   #3
Lyriclesolja
I Create Dope Poetry For The Thinkers Of Tomarrow....I Am Lyriclesolja
 
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Nice piece dog.............you remind me of Nas.......keep up that style.......props on tha word play.....Peayce
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Lyricalsolja you illy on the sickness tip.
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Old 12-29-04, 02:50 AM   #4
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ay thanks fa the feed keep it comin leave a link n i'll hit u back
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Old 12-30-04, 12:48 AM   #5
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Damn man can't believe my shit gettin slept on again...feedback plz
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Old 01-01-05, 06:47 PM   #6
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feedback please. leave a link i'll return the favor
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Old 01-04-05, 11:17 PM   #7
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uppin this c'mon yall drop somethin
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Old 01-05-05, 11:58 PM   #8
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damn drop some feedback don't just read it
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Old 01-06-05, 11:39 AM   #9
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is dat a true story?
no matter, it was hot. the idea was good, i like to write stuff like that too
great job
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Old 01-06-05, 01:33 PM   #10
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thanks fa the feedback...n yea it is a true story. uppin
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Old 01-07-05, 12:27 PM   #11
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You can tell it when stuff comes right from the heart...It was nice, i prefer reading real stuff and this was one of those drops. I hope to read more of you in the future, keep doing your thing!
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Old 01-07-05, 04:28 PM   #12
Insight.
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Don't be surprised ya stuff gets slept on, not a lot of people rate poetry. It started out kind of slow, but about the 6th line it started picking up. Good stuff, keep it up. It's hard to write good poems that don't have a rhyme scheme, but you did a good job. My link is my battle really, it's a topical. If you can't vote then just leave feedback, because that's appreciated just as much. px

*EDIT* Forgot to rate it. 7/10

Last edited by Personify : 01-07-05 at 04:31 PM.
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Old 01-08-05, 02:05 AM   #13
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thanks fa the feed...yea i'll hit yall back w/ feed...uppin
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Old 01-09-05, 06:06 PM   #14
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feedback leave a link n i'll return the favor
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