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Old 08-07-05, 08:27 AM   #16
B To The D
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thx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!up diggity
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Old 08-07-05, 09:38 AM   #17
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upping.........................
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Old 08-07-05, 10:08 AM   #18
Sean Gunner
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Nothing that creative, vocab didn't go well with your topic, and your imagery was ok.
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Old 08-07-05, 10:12 AM   #19
Bizarre
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -UNF-
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2348953
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...t=202709&page=2

this was gonna be a collab but i got tired of waitin sorry guys but hell here it is


Hook:
imagine this... i'm in the center of a thousand galaxy...
stand by me... witness the darkness which surrounds all i see...
holding me... choking my throat till i gasp for breath...
cracked my head... open my thoughts till i ask for help...

V1:
imagine this... the same feeling inside your mother's womb...
it's utter doom... an unborn corpse trapped in another tomb...
a covered room... with no doors and windows or lawns and meadows...
no it's zero... but the claustrophobia is haunting me though...
most that we know... is that only your mother bore all the pain...
more than insane... ideas arent conceived at the core of my brain...
mortally lame... my small feet are tied with the umbilical cord..
really absurd... is this the miracle work of our Biblical Lord...
physically bored... time pases slowly with nothing to do...
one thing that's true... it felt like eternity is dying for you...
hiding into... the deepest corner of the uterus for nine months...
more than i want... i'm morphing from a fetus to an infant...



Hook:
imagine this... your mother takes liquor, smokes and drugs...
she hopes and shrugs... thnking her addiction didnt broke your lungs...
she jokes and laughs... having fun while neglecting her loving son...
her lucky charm... died in an accident while he's playing guns...


V2:
imagine this...the same situation inside your mother's womb...
it's utter doom... an unborn corpse trapped in another tomb...
before he bloomed... he absorbs food and drugs that broke his innocence..
in a sense... he's taking nourishment as a form of punsihment...
the money spent... in drugs and herbs should have been spent for health...
he's sent to death... the fetus couldn't walk but it went to hell...
gently fell... can't you just tell how his frame has fallen apart...
going afar... his swollen heart never pumpin from the start...
sunked and scarred...with face disfigured in more ways through fissures...
stays with features... of a diabolical creature with a case of seizures...
amaze to be sure... to call this fetus as a human being...
his throat is bleeding... suffering from the chemical's cruel beating...
no more breathing... no longer moving while he died in sleep...
i cried and weep... as i witness a life that end in one sweep..


Hook:
imagine this... we are all living inside a mother's womb...
it's utter doom... the unborn corpses trapped in another tomb...
imagine this... we finally went into the world outside...
use your sight... see the freedom as you see the light...
feel its might... smell victory and listen to the words...
but weep when you heard... that it's also hard to live in this world...

upping for feedback




Damn this shit is d0pe.....it sounds like its been done by a pro....Nicely done -UNF-
WELL Done
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Old 08-07-05, 10:13 AM   #20
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thx up diggity!
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Old 08-07-05, 10:14 AM   #21
Bizarre
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Revelation
Nothing that creative, vocab didn't go well with your topic, and your imagery was ok.


how would you like it if we talked shit bout your creativity and how shit your lyrics were.....would you like it.....

Exactly.....
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Old 08-07-05, 10:35 AM   #22
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i can feel the tension rising .....()_o? upping
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Old 08-07-05, 10:52 AM   #23
snipes
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the verse 1 lots of emotion and made me think different things in live
verse 2 is kinda sad cuz a baby is trap in they mother's womb

overall pretty decent drop
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Old 08-07-05, 11:36 AM   #24
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like I told you on MSN, this shit's heat mayn...vocab was perfect for this piece, imagery made you see and feel what was going on...great job...i nominated you
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Old 08-07-05, 11:42 AM   #25
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ayo fam wat up im back and i think this piece was ill homie rea...ayo come on right in for topical man you ill and shit!!!!!man nice drop homie ayo check my open mic when ya get back and peeeps check this out to...http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203428
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Old 08-07-05, 12:10 PM   #26
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aight ^^ up diggity!i got 2 hof nominations from this
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Old 08-07-05, 12:22 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L. Veracity
like I told you on MSN, this shit's heat mayn...vocab was perfect for this piece, imagery made you see and feel what was going on...great job...i nominated you


thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 08-08-05, 11:14 AM   #28
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no offense, but how come this gets nominated...

but i get nothing, lmlo.....ahh well.

all the good oms always get slept on
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Old 08-09-05, 12:13 AM   #29
taz
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^^^agrree with drakel......drakel keep writing ull get one
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