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View Poll Results: Who Wrote This Topic Better?
Lethal Lunatic 0 0%
Manipulation 5 100.00%
Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 08-17-04, 02:51 PM   #1
Restricted
DaTrus Is A Bitch!
 
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From: Pittsburgh, PA
Lethal Lunatic Vs. Manipulation

IP: D52C 04A2



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Topic: Intelligence

Good Luck To Both!

~R~
 
Old 08-17-04, 03:00 PM   #2
Paris Hilton666
Paris Hilton Gone Crip
 
IP: 4DBE 3D7F

checken in lol im facin you ibc both lbc and here lol
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A crip just like Bonecollector
 
Old 08-17-04, 05:28 PM   #3
MaNiPuLaTiOn
...tha princess of rv...
 
IP: 6AD2 8F43

in...........gud luk lethal...
shud b gud this...
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MaNiPuLaTiOn
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ToPiCaL GeNiUs

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Old 08-21-04, 05:16 PM   #4
Paris Hilton666
Paris Hilton Gone Crip
 
IP: 28AD 5545

Intelligence

Pray to start, but ideas in my head won’t let me work
Wat to dark, berserk ideas now thinkin one won’t hurt
Need a subject dude, please tell me who I should use
Not to be rude, but please God give me some clues
.................................................. .............................
....................................Wife and kid opens the door
Now I see...I can use someone who I love and adore
But how do I ask, should I ask her please ?
I’ll say life's a blast, but we can see through many centuries
But she has to listen to me, so we can live forever
We have many things to see, we can see it together
And the child and me can bond forever, life will be young
Life will neva end weneva, It’ll be wen I want it to be done
...Dinners ready, devil in my mind I’ma tell her now...
...Would you do it for me, and do not ask how ?
Yes I will, but if it messes up will I actually die ?
No it won’t kill, and you know that I don’t lie
Conscience in my head, (now tell her the truth)
In the way is my mind...but the truth she’ll be dead, at youth
But not a word I speak, can’t tell her that
It’s absurd so weak, Sh on the thought of that fact
Run to the lab...did the experiment now you have to take the pill
Take only two or you’ll collapse, before you can’t stand still
I’ll see you at home, wen I come back from work
(open the door) It’s like a dark zone, is it real...it’s just absurd
Wife and son on the floor, how could this become of ?
Scared, close and reopen the door, how could I loose someone I love
Now I realized it was the pill, an overdose just to much of it
It did kill, I can’t believe, can’t hide from it
I lost two precious things in life, not it hurts inside
So I can rejoin my son and wife, I’ll commit suicide
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A crip just like Bonecollector
 
Old 08-22-04, 07:40 AM   #5
MaNiPuLaTiOn
...tha princess of rv...
 
ok.............

IP: 6AD2 8F43

intelligence
the Test


They had no television,john questions his father..."what is composition"?
Dad replys,"a type of fish"...mum nods her head agreeing with prescision
John looks dumbfounded, but smiles as inside perhaps he really knew
But he was scared,too afraid to question if his parents answers were true
He`d done that before only to recieve "thats a fact"..and taken a crack
He smiled,kissed his parents...and headed upstairs, headed for the sack

December 12th 2037...the morning after, this was the day
The telephone call was only two impatient hours away
Breakfast table was tearfull,anxious, entering the unknown
It was Johns 10th birthday...so why the solumn tone?
2 minutes left..checking the watch one last disturbing time
BBBRING!....BBBRING!
It was uppon us...mum creeped towards the ghastly chime.

The call was brief " Your appointments at one o`clock today
Mum relied "ok"..as she replaced the reciever in obvious dissmay

Dad hugged her tight.."cumon one hour lets be on our way"
"Weve taught him well"..."he will be more than o.k today"
Washed, changed, into the car...not a word was spoken
As they set off...the uncompromising silence was never broken

As they arrived at the governments centre..swung open the doors
Tearfull parents...crys and anxieties filled the large open wards
John was met by the clerk..."this way to the govenment test"
Entered into a room in solitude..as parents were unwillingly left
They were told to go home...where they would hear the results
Led away by men in suits...Father broken,torn..hurling insults

The phone call comes...all too quickly in the fathers eyes
He begins to cry,as he picks up the phone..this wont be lies

*A STURN VOICE RESPONDS*

"Unfortunately your son is too intelligent, Tommorrow his funeral is set"
"We cannot allow him to live, as you know he would be a national threat"
You see the child is innocent, but deadly in this day in age...
If you have half a brain..You have the power to start war and rage.
__________________
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MaNiPuLaTiOn
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ToPiCaL GeNiUs

free agent

Last edited by MaNiPuLaTiOn : 08-22-04 at 07:42 AM. Reason: structue...mistake
 
Old 08-22-04, 04:24 PM   #6
a k w o r d Z
New Jack
 
From: jail.
IP: 269D 0C24

Lethal Lunitic- Your verse was hard to finish reading... your rhyme scheme sucked... you tried to do multi's with words that just rhyme, but didn't make sense. your spelling mistakes didn't help anything and your verse didn't how any creativity at all.

Manipulation- The majority of your verse was straight.The ending came out of nowhere, and it was kinda weak. Your rhyme scheme was ok, kinda simple and to the point, but you had good imagery... really, you could've dropped anything and beat the verse Lunitic posted.

v/ Manipulation
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Old 08-22-04, 07:08 PM   #7
Keith Moon
Thank You, Come Again
 
From: Pomona, California
IP: 8D48 2106

umm Letal....ok verse..didnt make sense 2 me........story was kind of difficult to get thoprugh but ok work overall

Manip pretty good but ok story...overall better verse than LL
sotry ehhhhhh waso k government doesnt kill you if your smart though...but I get your message

but heres some advice: You basicaly were sayin you dont have to be dumb to start a war......but...most presidents are highly educated, bush went to Yale, hes not responsible for 9-11 thats only Osama, John Kerrys a fag wgo pretended like he actualy was heroic but he got his medal through flase claims.., and cuz your a bad pseaker odntm ena your dumb,...and wouldnt you have rather got rid of sadam ansd his sons enemies and terrorist faggoits then have em just runnin round ruinin thosep oeples lives forget it....... gettin that off my chest lol
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Old 08-22-04, 08:42 PM   #8
Paris Hilton666
Paris Hilton Gone Crip
 
IP: 4DE1 49F1

I dont care give this to manipulation the topic was hard and the first round I barely give a shit lol but w/e give this to manipyulation
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A crip just like Bonecollector
 
Old 08-23-04, 01:07 AM   #9
Restricted
DaTrus Is A Bitch!
 
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From: Pittsburgh, PA
IP: 6DC1 4D5A



LoL^ Easy...Dont Commit Suicide Over This Shit..

I'ma Make This Plain and Simple. Both Your Structures Are Horrible...Fix Up Your Verses!!

Manipulation Took This One With Better Vocabulary, Word Usuage, Emotion, and Creativity. She Just Edged Lethal In All Categories.

Vote - Manipulation.

~R~
 
Old 08-23-04, 02:45 AM   #10
~Babylon~
~Lyrical Nirvana~
 
~Babylon~'s Avatar
 
From: Newark,NJ
IP: C1DA C961

I have to go with munipulation.......since.....

both of your guy's sturcter was kinda not good....but Lethal yours just seamed so simple...and it had forced multies.....

munipulations I just connected wit more....

v/Manipulation
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Old 08-23-04, 12:23 PM   #11
MaNiPuLaTiOn
...tha princess of rv...
 
IP: 6AD2 8F43

yeh...the topic i found real hard.......
n chase it aint supposed to be true lol.
its a story.lol.
uppin
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MaNiPuLaTiOn
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ToPiCaL GeNiUs

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Old 08-23-04, 01:00 PM   #12
flow2crazy
Simply Dope
 
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From: The Ill State
IP: 3240 794D

aight heres my breakdown...

letha lunaticl~couldnt really follow ur story and ur structure was weak... i hate being repetitive so imma just stop there

Manipulation~good story and the ending caught me by surprise, ur flow and vocab were nice too so thats y u got this 1

v/manipulation
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