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Old 01-22-06, 05:17 PM   #1
Dabatos
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
 
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Dabatos! Forever You and I
IP: CBE2 72E9

Yea havent wrote a song in a while so heres a new one by me for my girl for V-day =P.. yeah im a lil rusty.. but yeah imma re-record this in studio to make it better.. jst need feedback on wut to do to make it better or wut to take out.. but yeah.. the first verse is about how I feel for her, n 2nd verse bout how me and her met in chorus class =P haha..

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pag...m?bandID=243612

Its the 2nd song in link. Called Forever You and I

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Last edited by Dabatos : 01-28-06 at 02:05 AM.
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Old 01-22-06, 07:01 PM   #2
Willa
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you should post a link that would help lol
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Old 01-22-06, 07:10 PM   #3
Dabatos
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lol oh yeah.. haha
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Old 01-22-06, 07:54 PM   #4
Dabatos
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uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin
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Old 01-22-06, 09:20 PM   #5
J. Luth
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where's your feedback links?


but i played song, pretty coo. Can't really leave much feed cuz watching game. but shit was cool. stay up. pc
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Old 01-22-06, 09:57 PM   #6
Dabatos
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lol i posted my links but will a peer deleted my thread n sed i dont need to post =P
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Old 01-22-06, 11:27 PM   #7
L.E
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Listening...

Beat is decent....

Lyrics are good...

Good track.

Keep it up..

RTF

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=220061

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Old 01-23-06, 01:36 AM   #8
Paranoid
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fuck man first thing I noticed was the hot beat and the gurl signin, she sounds so sexy. your adlibs are kinda gay...but there just adlibs ay. your flow is pretty good man, kept solid with a decent delivery. the lyrics were good as well, your quality is better but still needs work. damn yea I'ma download this, because you suck and the hook is dope lol overall I liked the track.

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Old 01-23-06, 08:23 AM   #9
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ehh...I wouldn't post lyrics if I were you...too many hungry emcees out there


Dabatos...immediately, my problem with this is that you sound the same as in all your raps...You rap with the same pitch/key in every rap...Please homie, change that up...I'd like to hear what you'd sound like with a grittiness in your voice

your flow is good though, if not standard

You need to start doing your own hooks as well...Almost every track you're on has a pre-packaged hook

Up your game dawg

Right now, RV is hot with audio...and you're basically at the bottom of that pecking order with this effort

Oh...and writing "personal" lyrics doesn't excuse mediocrity...

I used to love your raps...But, bro, come on! Step ya --ish up or get steam rolled.


As for this song's overall presentation, it was decent. It wasn't a bad song. I just know you can come with so much more.



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Old 01-23-06, 10:53 AM   #10
Dabatos
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damn fam.. never realized that till you actually said it.. thanx man.. i'll seriously think of what you said Q but i only wrote "another" love song cuz its a v-day gift lol.. i already have other songs planned to put down.. and chorus for me is easy to put down.. I just havent wrote songs in a while cuz of stupid counter-strike 1.6 LOL.. yeah im wierd.. but yeah im comin back hard man.. this was jst quick lyrics i wrote for v-day.. hopefully its a good enough gift lol... n thanx everyone else
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Old 01-24-06, 12:23 AM   #11
Dabatos
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uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin
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Old 01-24-06, 07:52 PM   #12
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I like the way it came in... actually like the laid back beat too... not bad on the flow... delievery coulda been a lil more polished... but over all this was a pretty hot track the way it came out... I fucks with it
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Old 01-26-06, 07:57 PM   #13
Dabatos
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word thanx fam..................
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Old 01-27-06, 11:45 AM   #14
fo'trill
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can't listen to ur cut cuz my real plaeyer and media shit won't recgonize the extension.
But i will give a an ill ass up :

YO THIS IS FO'TRYLL AKA CHEDDAR CHEEZ THE MC...LISTEN UP YO U OL' MARK ASS BITCH I'M THE ORIGINAL NET THUG BEEN DOIN IT HERE SINCE WINDOWS 94' LAYIN IT DOWN SPRAYIN DAH ROUNDS NAH MEAN!! LOOK U NEED TO PEEP http://dabatos.dmusic.com/ CUZ U'S A SUCKA ASS MC THAT AINT GOT NO SKILLS AND HE WILL SCHOOL YOU LIKE MIKE JACKSON AT THE HEAD OF A 3RD GRADE PHYS. ED. CLASS!!!!! U PUNK BITCH LEARN SOMETHIN ABOUT FLOW!!! THAT'S http://dabatos.dmusic.com/ GO THERE AND GET TAUGHT THE GAME!!! PUT DOWN UR FUCKIN RANDY SALVAGE ALBUM TALKIN ABOUT U HARD DUDE U AINT AS HARD AS MY MAN DABATOS.....WHO U THINK U IS!?!?!? HE SLAPS 3 BITCHES WITH ONE SWIPE AFTER A SHIT THAT HE MAKES U WIPE SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!! *echoes and fades*

peep any track at www.soundclick.com/fotrill and holler at me *except every song past mad maestro's cuz they suck...bad quality and i was real off beat and shit lol*
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Old 01-27-06, 02:38 PM   #15
B To The D
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Wtf@ Fo Trill

Ok Lets Leave Feed

Hooks Dope

Flows Nice,Like The Switch Ups

Deliverys Koo

Feelin Your Presentation

You Always Make Love Songs Lol

They Nice Though

Im Feeling Your Second Verse More,

The Lyrics Are Koo,Im Suprised You Never Run Out Of Ideas For Your Love Songs Lol

Hook.................




Good Track

Koo Outro

Overall:8/10

Feed used 1/27/06 "Unfuckwidable"
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