Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
|
View Poll Results: How would you rate this? | |||
Loved it | 0 | 0% | |
Eh...ok | 2 | 100.00% | |
Coulda been better | 0 | 0% | |
Hated it | 0 | 0% | |
Voters: 2. You may not vote on this poll |
|
Thread Tools | Search this Thread | Display Modes |
05-06-05, 04:10 AM | #1 | ||||
New to RV
|
Glimpse Inside My Life
IP: 744C D310
Armed with only his mind and his pen and pad
Refusing to conform with the next hot trend or fad Everyone becommin jealous of this young lad Who gets no support from a single soul especially mom and dad Brushin it off cuz he has to look after him Can't rely on no one else, not even his kin Constantly misunderstood by peers cuz he's a blend Between black and white, he's got the best of both worlds Niggas green wit envy cuz he's steady pullin all the girls Whether he is rockin braids or some irressistable curls Never reluctant to throw peoples minds in downward swirls He's subject to correct A mistep but don't fret This aint the monogolistic Part of this poetic verse Don't try and throw my words in reverse Or you face being placed under a detrimental curse In which you will be forced to learn the art of rhyme I'll have white boys rockin FUBU instead of Kevin Kline And have brothas spittin the trusth instead of they cheap pick up lines He can't wait to reach the light at the end of the tunnel ahead Cuz for love, for life, and for freedom and understanding he's bled Theoretically speaking of course, cuz his soul is one of the many walking dead He's only 15 yrs of age but with habitualness he acts like an adult Too mature for his age but not wise enough to join their prestigious cult Rejected by his age group for understanding the world where as they wanna revolt Thus making him envisage that he's the one to blame All he wants is love and intellection not popularity and fame But because he walks his own path he's instantly deemed a shame It's not a good feeling to be alone with a sense of mirthlessness After being told so many times, you believe in your worthlessness People saying "You're no good", -smh-, what a hurtful dis Yet he keeps his chin up and battles through the Pyrrhonism Leaving looks of shock and disbelief when he rebutes the skepticism Living HIS life for HIM, for I'm no longer a victim of altruism |
||||
05-11-05, 09:56 AM | #2 | |||||
Divine Ascension
|
IP: 5DFD E17C
this was aiight. not real creative but the point got across. just sum lines i wasnt feelin too much. felt sorta like an open mic rather then a poem. maybe thats why i was really feelin it. i dunno. cant quite put my finger on it. but i see what u were trying to say with this one keep writing
__________________
-Transcending The Heavens- I am before before... Before death is eternity, After death is eternity. There is no death, only eternity. And I be riding the wings of eternity... ___________________________________________ 3 Poems.:.3 Features.:.3 Weeks Consecutively I'm a Bad Man |
|||||
05-12-05, 11:32 AM | #3 | |||||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
|
IP: 3240 794D
yes, i agree with calm on this too, did have an open mic feel to it..you could have used some different vocabulary and maybe spiced it up abit, seems kind of bland,like its missing something, but it was alright, keep dropping.1
__________________
"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
|||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|