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Old 12-08-07, 09:11 PM   #1
konspikqus
This is my first post!
 
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No Score

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my head in pain, tryin to keep calm
got fould hard in da lane, da freethrow line im goin on.
was angry and my judgement was clouded.
da ref told me to stop, but i thought "yea i doubt it"
"wanna start sumtin", i asked "cause im all about it"
tried to start sumtin from da tip, nigga i got da list.
foulin like a bitch i call dat shit,
muthafucka doin a cheap shot, cause he do wan get a hit.
anyways da brawl started on the court,
teamates suspended several months from the sport.
neva saw da nigga again ya c,
so i guess dere was no score for me.
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Old 12-09-07, 02:30 AM   #2
J.VeNoM™
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pretty bland,hmmm thats all i can say for now..would be nice if you improve your overall structure and get down to the basics and work your way up..keep droppin'.
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Old 12-09-07, 06:38 AM   #3
Brydon
I made it and il end it
 
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alot of it didnt ryhme,didnt seem 2 have any flow,piece was way too short,this was a no-no.keep trying.peace
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Old 12-13-07, 04:10 PM   #4
Big_O
Light Weight
 
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I like the basketball metaphor, flow was decent
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Old 12-13-07, 04:54 PM   #5
Brydon
I made it and il end it
 
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jus read this again,it wasnt as bad as i first thought,ignore my first feed,think i may of jus woke up or suning,flow was ai8t,still for def. needs 2 b longer,but it did ryhme lol
keep uppin.peace
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Old 12-14-07, 08:22 PM   #6
animosity
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Nice drop this was good shit! Keep up the good work!
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Old 12-20-07, 05:36 AM   #7
MoutH
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aheeee huh definatly see the potential work on structure and get done man...elevation...drop non stop!!!
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Old 12-20-07, 04:23 PM   #8
wiley d
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yea it really didnt rhymei give it a 6.5/10
give me feedback on mines

man up!!!(cant smile) realist ish i ever wrot- wiley d
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