dwelled feelings,so much pain is rained,
but im the 1 who drank + sniffed who the fuck am i 2 complain??
cant sleep,man im waiting for that chang over,
its gona b so bad,but for a whole night wiv the women i was a real casanova.
so many body parts affected wiv that potent mix of drink+drugs,
smoking aint that clever either,my tongue feels like a persian rug!
brain flickering back and forth,remembering the nights events,
man that bird was ai8t,shit wot a prick iv spent the fuckin rent.
cant focus, wots the nxt bad thought creeping in?
its times like this that u wish u cud buy another drug 2 wash away ur sins.
eyes closeing quickly,but brain speeding up,
man 2moro will b a test of strength,concience plz shut the fuck up!!!!
thinking so deep,losing my way,
cant take this depression,wonder if god cud or wud help if i prayed???
i doubt it,i dont deserve it,dont wont it or do i???
so confussed,
need that sleep fast,cant keep up wiv my body+brain,
1 min shivering,the next dripping hot,is it really worth it? this cant b humaine!
feel proper down,should i cry??
wot the fuck for??? its a cum down! i aint gonna die!!!
im dreaming but still awake,
bad dreams again,keep jumping up,i jus dont know how much more i can take!

some dope thoughts in this. links by midnight .

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http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=244847
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=244572
nice 1 thanks, could and should of made it alot longer,but only wrote it coz i couldnt sleep for shit,but halfway through i felt able 2 sleep so finished quick lol.peace

any comments plz??????????????

um okay im a break this down to you in the normal way that i do anyone else...it was totally basic dude. i meen the storyline is played on suicide and all that but the imagery is not as deep as i thought it would be..try writing from a picture to start off your topicals it will help with the reader to vision what your writing even more..but decent work..just need a little improvement and that should do the trick.

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cheers dude thanks 4 the feed + advice. peace

I like it dude, Solid flow but an abrupt ending

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cheers man anymore comments plz cheers

Nice wellll okay! Its decent i like it good flow and shit!

could i have sum'mo feed cheers........

ya this was decent it was not as good as the last peice i gave u feed for but it wasnt bad! Keep it up and keep writin bro!
I'll leave more feed for ur other peices of the weeekend! peace dawg!

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Fly-E
The B.E.S.T Crew
Were Back!

jus wanted to say this is more played on effects of coke rather then suicide prenom, 2 understand it fully you need to of taken coke b4, anywayz peace

I fucks with coke, n i sleep fine. anyways this was jus basic, try n use better vocab n shit.

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i bring the arsenal like arsene wenger

do more then a line then, either that or buy off sum1 who dont cut it so much-so it ends up jus being hay fever tablets crushed...........