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03-08-06, 10:42 PM | #1 | |||||
Out-Spoken
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I Am God
IP: 676B 9D48
my past haunts my beginning, and the rest of me.. my past fucked my present, and gave birth to my destiny.. the evil once manifested, i request it to rest in peace.. obsessed hatred began attested, now i'm pressed to weep.. a tear sheds for every predicate dressed in weaponry.. broken hearts and jaws, fists and tongues posessed with me.. every language is vital to my existance, I strike a chord.. Emotions expressed, no one ever heard this type before.. Characters stand in single file, from spoken to written.. Auschwitz survivor concentrates on the focus i'm gettin.. Usin me to define, exactly how it was to be in the time.. Silmultaneous creative destruction was bein designed.. I'm all powerfull, but I can't seem to try and stipulate.. rules where you can't manipulate to avoid all the shit you hate.. I shine light on a situation, and i've rained on your parade.. Flash Floods of baths of blood because i'm chained to your decay.. Thrown around in angry tangents, left beaten and bruised.. You don't sip from the glass, you skip right to eaten the fruit... over indulgent with insults, gluttonous verbs strike.. and Lust can look like love if you wrap your words right.. Use my ability to boast of your petty accomplishments.. you still envy, compared to him, you really havn't accomplished shit.. Stain papyrus with my essence, your visions of materials fluid.. A Dream deffered, sloth steals all of your materials to do it.. Motivation is empty and dry, your 5 senses lost touch with purpose.. Hieroglyphics would better serve you, finding the worst ways to word it.. Wars and death become of me, the son of man's the son of me.. sweet nothings whispered in ears, love and passion run with me.. An hours absurd, to explain the beauty in a flowers facade.. The power of words, is also known to me as, the Power of God..
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Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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03-08-06, 10:49 PM | #2 | ||||
Ike
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IP: 423A 65FD
this stuff is ill man...
i dont even know how to leave feed on it....honestly.. i always thought you were probably in the top 1-3 topical writers on the whole site...keep dropping...you never fail to impress...good work
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03-09-06, 08:10 AM | #3 | |||||
Black Poet
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IP: 860D ECBB
Dam !!! This is the best verse I have read this year fams !!!
The opener was nice,... liked the flow nice inners !! The Middle was great, kept the same flow and rhyming, really deep emotions Vision,.. Fav barz,... over indulgent with insults, gluttonous verbs strike.. and Lust can look like love if you wrap your words right.. Use my ability to boast of your petty accomplishments.. you still envy, compared to him, you really havn't accomplished shit.. And then the close,.. flowed well didn't lose anything,.. had dope vocab emotions was deep and I like this bar,.. Hieroglyphics would better serve you, finding the worst ways to word it.. Wars and death become of me, the son of man's the son of me.. An hours absurd, to explain the beauty in a flowers facade.. The power of words, is also known to me as, the Power of God.. Deep !!! really like this verse fams stay up and keep writing. 1~ |
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03-09-06, 03:44 PM | #4 | ||||
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IP: 3240 794D
Drop two links or this will be closed homie..and ill leave feedback when you do
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The Competition
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03-09-06, 06:16 PM | #5 | |||||
Out-Spoken
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IP: 5289 AD6C
word i got you...give me a few minutes
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Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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03-09-06, 06:46 PM | #6 | |||||
Out-Spoken
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IP: 5289 AD6C
__________________
Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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03-09-06, 07:14 PM | #7 | |||||
Out-Spoken
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IP: 5289 AD6C
__________________
Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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03-12-06, 04:01 PM | #8 | |||||
Black Poet
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IP: F7E3 42B8
Upin this for my fam I don't understand why it hasn't got any feed....
It's a dope verse. 1~ |
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03-13-06, 10:27 PM | #9 | ||||
Semper Fi
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IP: 3240 794D
Cought a cold from this one from it being sick as hell. I like what you put on it. Everything was on point with it. 9/10. Keep up the good work.
uppin..........
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Project List The Classick Mixtape Vol (8/18) Age Of Consent Mixtape Vol 1(16/16) The Classick Album(2/16) S&S Express E.P.(1/10) Lot of back to back shit. Stay tuned. |
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03-13-06, 10:30 PM | #10 | |||||
Bonecrushing Nigga
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IP: EF7C B524
Illy from philly...
Okay.. Oregon then... Real dope.... a bit rusty though... to tell the truth...
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Guess who?... ...Paramik Fuckin'...
...Owns You! ||RVS Text Champion||
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03-14-06, 02:07 AM | #11 | ||||
Moderator
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IP: 6EB9 28C9
Man, I thought this was ill as hell.
I'm not very good at topicals so my words don't hold very much weight in this type of shit, but the imagery and emotion merked it. I don't read too many topicals, but I still think that the way everything is written and put together is original as hell. Keep posting shit, for real. This was dope. |
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03-22-06, 12:48 AM | #12 | |||||
Out-Spoken
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IP: 5289 AD6C
uppin this shit right here....are you SERIOUSLY not reading this?
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Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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03-22-06, 05:22 PM | #13 | |||
1926
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IP: 7BE2 A0A1
This was pretty nice man. Nice flow and strong content, didn't really feel to heartfelt, largely in part to the lack of a real defined storyline. But you had some very brilliant lines, this in in particular was my favorite:
'a tear sheds for every predicate dressed in weaponry..' Man, that was just insane to me, I loved that alot. Ya, everything was pretty on point, the lack of storyline just kind of dissapointed me. But this wasn't really one of "thoooose" pieces so, for what it was it was pretty flawless man. Gald to see you back and writing again. |
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03-22-06, 06:46 PM | #14 | |||||
Out-Spoken
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IP: 5289 AD6C
thanks a lot for the feed man...yeah, i didn't really go with the story line on here.....that seems to be what I'm known for, and i'm sort of trying to create a more diverse identity i guess...but thanks again for reading for the feed...im glad you enjoyed it
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Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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03-22-06, 06:54 PM | #15 | |||
1926
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IP: 7BE2 A0A1
Ya, if you want to branch off the title of "Storyteller" try just getting into real basic storylines but instead of working on sequentials, write in extreme detail. And I'd apreciate it if you could check out my Om: "When the Artist Cries"
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