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07-17-05, 07:53 PM | #1 | |
Light Weight
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heart broke
IP:
my heart broke today it heard news
that she found another guy...... instead of chasin her i let her go leavin my heart to shatter into pieces.... it isn't her fault tho this is all on me i made a mistake an as a result my heart broke... not sure how long it will take to heal....who knows maybe never...it may not be whole again but then again neva know the way my life is goin eventually it'll all end in sorrow..... |
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07-17-05, 07:54 PM | #2 | |
Light Weight
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IP:
short lil drop..feedback appreciated...pce
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07-18-05, 06:12 PM | #3 | |
New to RV
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IP:
Okay piece... gives a sense of hopelessness... what happens to some people when love fails them... life is hard at times...
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07-19-05, 01:45 PM | #4 | |
Back....
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IP:
well. yes it was short. no real story to it. try telling us about what happened and we'll enjoy reading it. not that good. but keep writing.
__________________
Back..... |
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07-20-05, 01:47 PM | #5 | ||
pain is weakness leaving the body
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IP:
A lot of emotion in it, but it feels incomplete. What else happened?
__________________
"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..." -Konchance my poetry: untitled |
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07-22-05, 12:25 AM | #6 | |
Light Weight
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IP:
ay thanx fa the feedback yall...but the backstory of it is that me an this girl had a thing goin fa a while...but then one day she told me she found someone else...an that lead to this short lil poem...uppin
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07-22-05, 04:17 PM | #7 | ||
[ a.k.a Os ]
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IP:
I thought this was short but it shows your potential with more writing and experience i believe you can be real good the piece though was good not a whole lot of detail but you still got your point and emotion through keep it up man
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07-26-05, 12:19 AM | #8 | |
Light Weight
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IP:
ay thanx fa da feedback..yea i'll try n make em longer an get da details pce
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