Daaamn. BOTH nice verses...much propz Tik n Mad.

This could be Legend's material, eh Tik

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i dont think so mad.

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^^^'innit'. People should stop dwelling on all this 'legends' section so much. Thoiugh i think he might've been joking, it's gone past funny.

Just keep doing your 'things' and see what happens from there, like.

Oh, and both good pieces. Though i shall reserve any further comments i have till AFTER deacon has judged..

Phrantik:
This was an exceptional piece and i must say you executed it in a fashion that i didnt expect.
A couple of lines i would like to shine apon:

"There voices only speak in monotonous tone
And their faces fall apart like eroding stone"

This line brought alot of depressing imagery along with the obvious stages of a decaying body along with the object (gravestone) that gives the body placement or in other words a name. Time will ruin anything----

"Forgotten by family shut out by their friends
It was I who brought existence to ends"

This had soo much truth in certain aspects of the steps of grieving but only of the short term effect. No one is truly forgotten many suppress their thoughts in believing so to make life easier(making matters worse in the end).I enjoyed how the killer gave placement and understood he was the reason for the death and grief of the loved ones.

"Years of denial have left corpses gone rotten
And gravesotones to pay tribute to the forgotten"

Great way of finishing this poem the overall emotion/imagery/originality was there-- I give this poem an (8)

Mad Man:
Wow this seemed to be a pretty personal piece. Is It? I loved the way you put the reading of the gravestone within the piece very nice. There was alot of imagery that deserves notice especially in the end...

"And on her cross, I boar Christ's position in which he died
Blood flowed from my head from where I lied"

---The crazy things one will do for the sake of being alone------

I really enjoyed how personal it seemed with bringing out the originality of it as well. Im going to give you a (7)


final: Phrantik moves on to 2nd round but this was a close one i think both pieces stand strong. Hard voting on all these i must say very competitive--Mad Man i'd love to see you back for our following tournys

much resp:
-1-

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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

"Wow this seemed to be a pretty personal piece. Is It?"


when i say personal i did not mean in the aspect of suicide but in the loss of a possible girlfriend.....

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

'Tik, ya made this piece tock like a swiss grandpa cock on steroids..i.e. you killed it!!

Like all the others, i read this piece before. But reserved my comments till AFTER Deacon finished judging them. Real nicely done.

As for Mad Man. I thought it was nice. You took it on well, and kept on going.

..resp...