i cant wait til i get signed,
til i die,i gotta get mine
i aint talkin coins when i say i flip dimes
not talkin saliva when i say i spit rhymes
am i wack cause i dont get no post no views
same way when i was young no clothes no shoes
the hood is the only niggas that know what i go through
i gotta get money and fuck these hoes too
grew up not responding back if i didnt know you
stroking on these broads might leave these hoes bruised
writing is the only way i express myself,
grew up without a father cause daddy left the house
when my aunt kim passed thats when i started to shut my mouth
but i open it back up to say fuck the south
now everybodys hatin,
cause niggas dont wanna see me make it
like they dont wanna see a old woman naked
so i got to get my weight up similiar to be over weighted
and half these niggas in the industry is overrated
damn i feeling the pain like i just got shot
cause it was either getting money from my moms or on the block
and sooner or later all that gotta stop
im too young to be a man ,im just trying to get to the top




http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3142517

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3142519

the beginnin had me thinkin it was going somewhere but then you went cliche and even if its ur real life which may or may be the truth it dont matter you need to come at you upbringing a new way then the rest or it sounds like the same recycled shit ya know but stay up..keep postin

Gotta say it wasn't that good. "I ain't talkin' coins when I say I spit dimes/Not talkin' saliva when I say I spit rhymes" was pretty good, but besides that, Fran El's got it right: pretty cliche, nothing too provoking here. The "old woman naked" crack wasn't funny and it amounted to a lot of just skimming the surface of being deep with nothing underneath.

Best lesson you can learn: if you don't have something deep to say, don't try to say something deep. Say something else.

Alright First Off The Vocabulary In This Piece was To SimpleYou Used The Most Commons Words, Your Structure Was A Tornado All Over The Place I Saw No Wordplay Not a Very Intresting Piece, Need Some Work alright For A New Kid, Rhyme Scheme Was So So Had alot Of Multi's But That's Not Everything In Rap. Open The Picture You Need More Imagination.

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You Need To Get Complex And Expand You're Word Usage.... You're Structure Killed It In The First Bar... No One Wants To Read After That....... Wordplay Was Evident But You Gotta Expand Way Beyond To Being Able To Link Any 2 Things Together Usin Imagery In You're Head......... Dont Quit..... But Put Some More Effort Into What You've Already Been Doin And Elevate Ya Verse To Something That Doesnt Look So Second Rate

alright i can see some potential in you but just like many others that ive seen, you've come a little too simple in this one. the biggest problem with this piece is that you havent said anything thing that i havnt heard a million times before on the pre destined "hard times" track the every emcee eventually drops. what im getting from this is: you grew up poor, you sell drugs to get by, and this makes you feel as if you have a better reason to be signed than most niggaz out. why? cause you spit truthful shit? hate to say it but 9 out of 10 times that isnt gonna fly.

i'd give this like a 5/10

Wiley D....It was iight...

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the beginnin threw me off a lil bit...but then you came back and got me on track...so i could see the imagery the vocabs the flow and the complexity of this verse and i think you had the perfect title for this one.....stay up........~1~.................