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Old 10-04-05, 09:01 AM   #1
Dervla
Poet's Daughter.
 
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Closed Eye's

IP: F7A5 EE0C

-The Sky-

looking down at this havoc, the fear squeezing me so tight,
in fright "why god didn't do anything?" the outcome isn't bright.
darkness corrupting my brain, the ache of pain is what i'm feeing,
trap behind illusion bars-mind blocked- the agony of it is screaming.
disbelieve what I was sensing, I smelled the blood, scream of breath,
stopped- few minutes later I saw that spirit float pass me-signal of death.
Heart broked, tears starts to pour-the sun disappears while I express this,
scorch of hate punches is being thrown but i couldn't reach the object.
The only thing from this point is all i could do was to cry and cry all night,
this emotional nauisance turning me so tense as my tears fall from the sky.

-The Grass-

damn I feel it in the air, tears from above collasping on me,
felt the force wind of the door, still in pain from the hard feets.
i sense someone in the help of need, but what can myself do?,
I'm stuck to the ground, feeling sweaty and smothered by dew.
I remember the tickle I felt coursing down my face-so different,
is this another living thing that I don't know of, damn what was it?
the preasure of that thing turn me upside down, I felt very sadden,
then my roots gave me the clear view-it was blood that has fallen.
"This is a bad night", hard streak of tires scorching up the road,
"there was a bomb here I can feel it, but it already have explode".

-The Road-

rubber is in furious, I'm the feeling the heat ontop of my concrete,
rain pouncing above me, like an tatto by the black ink- i'm asteriske.
little particles of me is being discrete, why you moving so fast driver?,
is it because you witness something that ignite your soul as a lighter?
trying to get away from all the problems, but it's hunting and still in your
soul, wasn't much of a cure and you had to kill the problems of it all-the core.
Are you yearning inside of what you done? Murder your lovely divine rose,
the one who thought that cared about you, but tonight you find out that she's a pose.
Rain getting heavier "O no..damn" "stop please my back is hurting enough,
Pull Over damn it!..The fuck you won't?..Fine then...this is about to get rough"


Reporter-A incident has happen here on 41 avenue here in Florida...A Man who caught his wife cheating Killed her and left a note "I'm going away"...He didn't went away too far...the weather lastnight was trechous..Lighting...windy...hard rain and the road was slippery and bumpy...with that he crashed..and died at the scene..*


Basically...The bolded words...are object that have no eyes...so..Closed eyes..they only sense..Ditto.


Leave feedback and Links to OM's Or Poems...
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mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*
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Old 10-04-05, 10:38 AM   #2
V.i.P
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Text Record: 0-1
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damn, feeling the three different drops all concluded into one...feeling the imagery, vocab and the flow of this piece lola...good shit and keep posting...maybe if you like they way i write...we can colab on a few pieces...holla back @ me...



Tough Love

^^^^my piece^^^ return the love mami
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Old 10-04-05, 10:57 AM   #3
Dervla
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http://community.rapverse.com/showt...0597post2470597

Uppo....and yeah we can do a Collab...but not right now papi, I'm busy with Topical Leagues and Tournies.
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mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*
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Old 10-04-05, 12:40 PM   #4
~Lady Fiya~
~*Duchess of Metaphors*~
 
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Damn this was pretty good. I like the imagery and the Grass is the portion I enjoyed reading the most. The Tears (rain), the blood - the roots. Nice imagery for real. You took a nice approach with this piece. Mad props. You can return the favor with the link in my siggy. The new audio track, I'll have some more audio tracks up soon.
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Old 10-04-05, 12:52 PM   #5
Dervla
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Fav returned...Keep up with the Audio....Uppo.
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mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*
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Old 10-05-05, 06:01 PM   #6
Kawn Flixx
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Text Record: 70-13
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Damn another one!, your my baby right ?...but anyways nice drop for real..i was loving your imagery and emotions..it was so vivid .. the tears ..roots..everything ..loving it..your structure was on point..liked the way you formatted your peice..your wordplay and vocab was pretty good .. could have been better but i was overall feeling your whole drop..keep it up
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Old 10-05-05, 06:13 PM   #7
Dervla
Poet's Daughter.
 
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Posts: 360
Joined: May 2005
Status: Offline
IP: 62C3 7065

__________________
mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*
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Old 10-05-05, 06:22 PM   #8
atti?
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This And 'Eyes Wide Shut' Are From Me And Lola's VE Battle...

Feel Free To Go Vote On That Shit,
Cuz We've Only Got One Vote So Far Now.
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